Passing Time

[greg-unknown]

exactly! i dunno who started the pink/blue/girl/boy stereotype but it was stupid. my dad sorta does thinks like that except with my brother like once he took my brother for a walk and i asked if i could go he said "No, this is a mans walk" and i was soo mad. Another time he asked me if i watched the wrestling and i said "No i find it boring. Im not really interested in that." and he said "Oh I guess its more of a man thing." and I most definatly put him in his place. I hate it when he does stuff like that. Once we had a huge arguement about men and women and my brother got into the argument too. I get so mad because they just see me as some girl.

[Dante]

My dad's not really like that; he does recognize my masculinity, but he's not willing to except the fact that I really am a boy. I think that's the problem. He can't see past physical traits.

But yeah, I'd kill my dad if he said something like that. Hey, I'd kill anyone that knew about me if they said something like that. I don't have a brother, so it's a bit easier to avoid, but I wish I did have a brother; I could actually relate to him.


News Update:
I know I'm boring all of you out of your minds with this 'guy' I keep talking about, but I really need help. Today he gave me this look. He might not have done it on purpose, but it seemed like he was angry with me. He looked at me a lot today, but that really kinda startled me. I do that a lot though; look mad for a second and someone looks and I wish it had been anyone but them looking, and I feel strange about it for days. Wow, I am a nerd to pay attention to all this.  

[greg-unknown]

i know what you mean. you give someone a dirty look by accident and then wonder if they are mad at you. i bet thats what he did. he probably isnt mad at you. do you ever talk to him?

[Dante]

do you ever talk to him?

No, I don't. I don't know him. Although I wish I did. I feel alone in this part, cause I haven't met anyone that can relate really well. I just feel like I'm lying saying that I'm not in love with him. I mean, I feel like I'm not, but something's telling me that I'm just saying that so my life won't be anymore complicated.

To fully understand this, you must know that I've never had a crush. And to this day I still believe that to be true. I can look my friends straight in the eye and tell them I'm not in love with anyone. Maybe I can do that because they don't know I'm trans, and that that prevents them from seeing the truth. You know how friends can always tell you're lying? Well, they never can tell. I feel like I don't know them at all.

And I can't believe I'm telling you this. I mean, I really need help. I feel like if I confide in anyone that's not trans, they won't understand where I'm coming from. I know my dad would tease me about 'finally' liking someone, even though I don't think I like him. They just wouldn't understand.

On another note, I don't know what he thinks of me. I don't think he cares, but I get the feeling there's something I'm not seeing. I lack the ability to see if someone likes me. I guess that's good cause I'll fit in with boys better, but sometimes I wish I had that instinct. Can anyone help me?!

Sorry I keep leaving such huge posts. I can't help it.

Oh, and I'll give him a name so that it will be easier to know who I'm talking about. Can anyone come up with something for me to call him here?