okay, i'm in a really complicated situation and i need advice. I'm pre-t and out to my family, but they haven't accepted me, call me she and call me my birthname, but they love me and won't kick me out ever so there's that.
so here's the problem. my sister has a wedding coming up in august and she does NOT want me wearing a suit since it will "make the day about me" and take all the attention away from her apparently. she wants me to wear a very very feminine outfit and i honestly have no idea what to do. I love her and I want the day to be her day since it is her wedding, but there's no way I can present myself as female again. I've been in college since august and I've presented as male 100%, people call me by my name and not my birthname and refer to me as he.
The notion of presenting female again sends me into a horrible state of anxiety and fear. Last time i had to go to a wedding in a dress I sat in the bathroom for hours crying and thinking about killing myself. I haven't told her about this yet and I honestly really just don't want to go to my own sister's wedding, as terrible as it sounds. what's even worse is the outfit she wants me to wear shows off my shoulders and i have self-harm scars all over my left shoulder.
what should I do guys? I guess the main option would be to just flat out tell her but I'm terrified and I'm not good at talking to my family about personal issues since it gives me bad anxiety.
