I'm a bit concerned that my older sister seems to be the only one in my family holding out on support for me during my transition.
My mom is all for it, she said to my face she doesn't care one bit about her kids gender orientation. My dad sounded like he was on board, and he asked plenty of questions, some even pertaining to surgery options and hormones. My stepdad is also okay with it, and Mom told me that my older brother always secretly wanted a little brother, so he's all good, too
But when I had to sit down and talk about the whole thing with my sister months ago, it was an emotional ordeal that I had to cut short because I was crying so much. She didn't sound like she was listening at all.
Mom is trying to get the hang of calling me Kyle (as of yesterday), after she asked when I wanted to be addressed by my new name. I told her I was ready months ago but because of our impending move, and helping to look after my nephew, I knew everyone was kinda stressed and didn't feel like being an extra thing to think about. But Mom talked to everyone, told them I want to be called Kyle from now on, and the only person who refused is my sister. She insisted I need to see a therapist first, even though Mom is convinced that my transness is definitely genuine at this point, thanks to my persistence over the last couple years, and the fact that she's admitted she had seen some very early signs when I was a teenager.
Mom isn't happy with my sister right now because of this.
I am willing to give this more time. I know this is a difficult thing that many trans people face in their families, it certainly isn't anything new. I know that. The only thing that makes this whole situation baffling is the fact that my sister is very supportive of the whole LGBT spectrum, and she has tons of queer and trans friends where she lives is New York City! The fact that she is refusing her own flesh and blood's transition is frustrating and it doesn't make sense, but I'm still willing to wait for her to come around.
Mom is guessing that she's worried she's losing a sister. Which is strange, considering we were never super close growing up, she had her friends, I had mine, and the fact that she set out on her own for the city when she was sixteen means we never really did a lot of stuff together. I mean we get along, we laugh at jokes, we have conversations, we love to share funny stories and enjoy raking terrible people we know over the coals. We're fine, but we are completely different people.
Now with my 1 1/2 year old nephew still just learning how to talk and say everyone's names, addressing me as "Aunt Kullwy"(Kelly) already, Mom is worried he's going to be confused with the rest of my family calling me a different name and set of pronouns while my sister is calling me another. It's a tough position to be in. Mom said it's a bad idea to push the change on my sister because it'll make things worse, but more importantly, she apologized to me that I had to go through this, and that what my sister is doing isn't right.
Like I said, I'll give it some more time. I'm sure after I find a therapist and they give me the okay for some hormones, she'll come around but I'm not ready to be upset with her, yet. She's still my family after all, no matter how different we may be.
