Best way to present at therapy

[Alycya]

Hi ElizabethK,

thanks for posting this topic - I'm waiting to meet a new therapist too, and I was into the same concerns.
I come to the conclusion that to present myself enfemme it would not be a great idea, because i would just do it in order to shock her hoping to speed up the whole thing.

I think it will be better for me to don't put everything under pressure with any planned "strategy", i think i will wear some female undergarments just to be more in tune with myself and over those just jeans and similar... Maybe ... just a very light make up... maybe not - i will decide later, checking how i feel before to meet her.

Hugs,
Aly

[LizK]

Thanks Alycya

I agree with you about putting yourself under pressure. I, like you, understand that is shouldn't make any difference how you present and being confident and comfortable is also Key. If you are confident and comfortable presenting both ways then it really is a matter of choice. However my experience tells me that first impressions do count whether right or wrong. I am so far inclined to go for Androgynous to fem look and be comfortable.

Elizabeth K

[TG CLare]

First few times I went in "male mode" as I was too frightened to go dressed in public. Met with the psychiatrist in male mode and he called me at that time, by my old name. He commented that maybe one day he could meet "Clare". At my next appointment a few months later, I went as Clare and I was very much differently dressed. He didn't know this and called my old name in the waiting room. I approached him and introduced myself as Clare and said she was pleased to meet him. After that, I never looked back!

He had written in his notes about "drab male clothing" but for the second, I was "strikingly dressed as a woman in a nice business suit. A remarkable change from the previous appointment".

Since then, I went the distance and sent all my other clothes to charity and now all I have is female clothing as that's how I live now 24/7. So much better!!

[Rylie M]

Personally i'm about to go see my first therapist about my gd and a few other issues wednesday. I'm definitely going in guy mode there's no way in hell i'm walking outside my house dressup up until I feel comfortable I can pass at least for a distance and have come out to a friend that usually sees me walking by her house and my family I ope it goes alright. I gotta get a job that pays enough for hair transplant before I ever try to pass my family's cursed we all get bald up top I started to notice my hair thinning/receding at just 20 to started happening to me in my 20's but now its quite noticeable @ just 34.

[JessicaSondelli]

Ever since my first appointment - well except once  when I took my wife with me - I went wearing girls clothes although I'm still living as a male. My therapist is currently the only person I'm able to be 100% me and wearing the right clothes makes it much easier for me. I also wore girl clothes to all my endo appointments and I'm sure it can make a difference on how soon you can get the HRT reference letter - if this is what you are going for.

-J


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[Emileeeee]

I presented as male with mine until about two weeks before I went fulltime. I later found out they thought I had been presenting as female that whole time. But I also told them how it was instead of letting them figure it out.

[Brandii]

My usual outfit is androgenous at best when I wear male clothing and it is very rare that I don't wear feminine clothing of some sort. I was looking what I thought was masculine-oh but I was so wrong. I was told I looked feminine in every way and I should not worry about that anymore. That made me feel great!

[Swayallday]

I have no confidence in my female image and I still present as male or somewhat a mixup... I go at it very slow... 6-8months later now.

For me HRT is the first step, honestly, this head needs a bit of work :')

No amount of clothing changes the fact how I look
and i'd like to wear makeup
to accentuate things
not to hide.

[FrancisAnn]

Dress the way you feel. Not all woman are foo foo anyway. I love being all female, pinks, long nails, nice shoes, rings, jewelry, perfume, love dresses....... but that's just me, that's what makes me feel comfortable. Lots of my natural women friends dress so dull but they are still women, no doubt.

[LizK]

My usual outfit is androgenous at best when I wear male clothing and it is very rare that I don't wear feminine clothing of some sort. I was looking what I thought was masculine-oh but I was so wrong. I was told I looked feminine in every way and I should not worry about that anymore. That made me feel great!

It weird about our own self-perception. I can't imagine myself looking feminine at the moment...I tend to go with an androgynous look and have never really considered that I look any different that I always have. However after an incident about a week ago where some bloke took exception to me...I did not even realise why he was being such an ass until we moved on and that is when I realised that maybe I look a bit more feminine than your average red-blooded Aussie male can handle. This actually brought a smile to my face...along with anger about the guys rudeness and bigotry...We get so used to seeing ourselves in a particular way...all these small changes we make to ourselves add up to a whole new first impression.

Liz K

[kk]

I pretty much already present as male except that I don't bind my chest (and even with my chest unbound, I am sometimes read as male), and that's how I'll go to a therapist because that's my every day look.  I don't want to feel like I'm trying to manipulate the sessions; I want the therapist to give me an honest "review" of what they think is going on with me.  Even though deep down I know I'm trans, I have this need for others to validate me, and so on and so forth, and I'd like to know what they think.

[SophiaBleu]

My 4th therapy appt was yesterday, and it was the first time I dressed as Sofia.  Therapist didn't really mention anything  regarding my looks, but did get in some time to discuss the violence directed at black trans women.  I will be dressing as Sofia from here on.

[FrancisAnn]

Have fun with therapy, it's costing you money. Go all out somtime just for fun, pinks, long nails, 3-4 inch heels, lots of mascara, red lipstick, perfume, real smooth legs, hose maybe, hoop earrings, a full wig with lots of volume......Really let go & enjoy your self. It's your $ that you are paying someone for, so enjoy yourself. We are in charge, not some "therapist" getting your $ to just sit there & talk some.