13 years old and intersex. PLEASE AS MUCH RESPONDS AS POSSIBLE!

[TencentQQmaps]

I would rather not consentrate on my genital differences or my memories from a hospital right nAazow I am mostly worried about my puberty and some other things at thr moment. 

Anyways I am technically a boy right now not phisical but 〇〇〇what 人人people 说 say。iguess。
I have kind of felt more like a girl since like preschool. WHICH I AM PERFECTLY FINE WITH.  Not trying to escape the fact I am transgender.

I have kind have recorded mesurments on my body over time to show change,. Maybe I shouldnt shoe this for the sake of argument but oh well:

When I started suspecting some differences but not knowing anything:
Waist:
27in
Hip:
34
Shoulder:
13.5
5'2
Bust:?
Ribs below bust (for bra measurments): ?
(haha lol another crazy person)

The next one was about a year ago I found out what intersex was around this time:
Waist
28
Hip
36
Shoulder
14
Height
5'3
Bust:
31
Ribs:
28

Next:
Waist:
28
Hip:
36
Shoulder:
14
Height:
5'3
Bust:
31.5
Ribs:
28

Next:
Waist:
26
Hip:
35
Bust:
32
Rib:
28
Height:
5'3
Shoulder:
14

Next (present time):
Waist:
26
Hip:
36
Height:
5'3
Shoulder:
14
Bust:
32.5
Rib:
28

If you have an issue with that please forget it exists, please.

Anyways,
A month or so ago I went to the doctors office after asking for so long.
She looked at me, said there might be somthing wrong and prescribed me full blood hormone testing for both testosterone and estrogen,

Lets just say with the slight possibility of me having AIS.  Would it turn up as normal male,. Just wondering.

Ok so😫😫😫
My mom (who went to the dictors with me)  wont let me get it.
Neither my mom or dad openly says there is somthing wrong with me.

Although random strangers seem to eccept it.

They know I would prefer living as female but they wobt let me ever probably.
WHAT SHOULD I DO???, advice?

Ps.  I would just like to say I am pretty well educated on the subject I know TONNES of facts about pretty much every intersex condition.

I reeeally hope this post goes well. 😦


Mode Edit:TOS 9 and 2 issues

[Elis]

Hey; welcome to Susans

I'm not intersex myself but the advice I'd give to any trans person is to email a letter to your parents explaining how you feel. I'd start with things in the past that made you feel frmale; how you feel now and what are your plans for transitioning in the future and how you wish to achieve that. I'd also include articles about being trans as well as all the info you know about being intersex. Your parents can't deny their child a necessary medical test or any sort of medication no matter what they think.
Hope it goes well for you and hope you stick around on the forum

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. Until you know the results of the testing, it's hard to tell you exactly what to do. At this point, you should make your doctor and parents aware of your transgender feelings. You should tell them that you have been researching this and are knowledgeable about this and would like to be involved in any decisions that are made about you. Most important is to be aware of any new medications or surgeries that are planed for you. Most doctors are now aware that a child should be allowed to develop their identity and then the body is brought to match that identity. However, not all doctors follow that teaching and try to force a body different than that of the mind. In both the short and long run it will cause you more pain and suffering if you receive that type of treatment. Now is not the time for secrets by you or your parents.

If you need help explaining this to your parents or doctors, we are willing to help. Posting to this thread will get my attention until you reach 15 post and can PM for help.

I was 27 before I was able to receive the proper treatment even though I knew at age 13. I wouldn't wish what I felt in those years on anybody.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

[Laura_7]

*hugs* and welcome 

Well done, don't be afraid ... people are accepting and your post is all right 

Well parents sometimes have a fixed image in their minds what they want for their child.
But reality does not work that way.
Children are individuals, with individual feelings what they need.

Here are some resources that might be shown to parents:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,197523.msg1756901.html#msg1756901

There are studies showing that being transgender has biological connections...
there are differences in brains of women and men so a womans brain in a mans body is possible...
there are even some substances known to cause such differences ...
so there has to be a biological connection.

This shows:
-its likely not a phase and
-its nobodys fault, not parents upbringing or whatever.

You might simply tell that this is how you feel and you need this to live happy.
Usually parents want their children to be happy.

You might say you want to go to the doctor and talk about it.
They might refer you to a gender therapist to help sort this out.

Or you might tell your parents you want to see a gender therapist to help you along.


By the way there is a lso a chat on susans if you want to chat ...

and here are other young trans people ... maybe you can make some friends there :

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,195129.msg1758946.html#msg1758946


Just ask questions if you have any ... people like to help .


*hugs*

[TencentQQmaps]

My parents know about everything I thinking.  I dont think they will ever change their minds.  The doctor had never heard of intersex but she did hear that "abnormal development" was possible.  My parents would never talk about intersex whenever I bring it up they get angry at me.  My mom would talk about how I feel like a girl but she only says things that will try to change my mind.

[Laura_7]

This is a resource that might be shown:
http://www.acceptingdad.com/2013/08/05/to-the-unicorns-dad/

Well if you have a condition it needs to be treated.
There is no need for them to feel fear, and its no use in waiting.
The sooner its treated the better.


*hugs*

[Elis]

My parents know about everything I thinking.  I dont think they will ever change their minds.  The doctor had never heard of intersex but she did hear that "abnormal development" was possible.  My parents would never talk about intersex whenever I bring it up they get angry at me.  My mom would talk about how I feel like a girl but she only says things that will try to change my mind.

This is why I think a letter is best. It shows you've thought everything through and know your own mind. Maybe get the doctor to talk to your parents about needing the test and addressing you being trans. Or try to convince your parents that you need a new doctor (you could find one who knows a bit more about intersex/trans people)

[Laura_7]

Another possibility is to tell your parents you want to see a therapist, for emotional reasons.
You could look for someone who has, amongst others, gender on their list.
They could help you explain to parents.
Do you think this could work or would money be an issue ?

*hugs*

[stephaniec]

I don't have any knowledgeable answers for you. It's tough because your completely under the care of your parents. Just keep posting and someone might come up with some answers.

[Mariah]

Yes, it is very possible that you could have AIS and have XY chromosomes and still have what is happening to you occur. To this day not all the facts in regards to why I'm intersexed are known except that we are for sure it was caused by AIS considering the male chromosomes being present when they checked my genetic makeup. I don't have a lot of answers in regards to what and why in regards to myself either. My parents knew what was going on too, but didn't share more than they were forced to. I can remember at a certain age when my mom had to buy camisoles and put them in my Chester drawers to protect my chest. Hang in there. I know is frustrating not having answers, feeling how you do and seeing the changes going with your body yet not get allowed to do something about it. Hugs
Mariah

[TencentQQmaps]

Yes, it is very possible that you could have AIS and have XY chromosomes and still have what is happening to you occur. To this day not all the facts in regards to why I'm intersexed are known except that we are for sure it was caused by AIS considering the male chromosomes being present when they checked my genetic makeup. I don't have a lot of answers in regards to what and why in regards to myself either. My parents knew what was going on too, but didn't share more than they were forced to. I can remember at a certain age when my mom had to buy camisoles and put them in my Chester drawers to protect my chest. Hang in there. I know is frustrating not having answers, feeling how you do and seeing the changes going with your body yet not get allowed to do something about it. Hugs
Mariah

Do you know wether or not, if I did have AIS if any abnormalities would show up in a hormone test? Dont people with androgen insensitivity syndrome have normal male hormones but the body just reacts differently? Or am I wrong?

[Mariah]

Hormone tests don't test for AIS. People, like myself, with AIS can have completely normal male chromosomes but there body just doesn't know what to do with androgen's or reacts them to varying levels and or degrees. Hugs
Mariah

Do you know wether or not, if I did have AIS if any abnormalities would show up in a hormone test? Dont people with androgen insensitivity syndrome have normal male hormones but the body just reacts differently? Or am I wrong?

[Serenation]

Do you know wether or not, if I did have AIS if any abnormalities would show up in a hormone test? Dont people with androgen insensitivity syndrome have normal male hormones but the body just reacts differently? Or am I wrong?

Hi, If you have complete hormone bloodwork done (LH and T) it can give some indication, MAIS is diagnosed from an androgen mutation through gene testing.

If you have female genitals and xy chromosomes that's ais. partial ais is ambiguous genitals and mild ais you would appear to be a boy with boy chromosomes.

The treatment for pais and mais is testosterone, so you open up a whole can of worms there if you do not wish to live as a boy.

From my experience with doctors in Australia they really do not like to use the word intersex.

[Soli]

since you ask for as many responses as possible, I'll give you my opinion.

I think this situation is totally unacceptable. I never could understand the need most people have to see their children being something they preset or an image of themselves, or... whatever, instead of simply giving them all they need to bloom into what they think they are or can be. I mean you don't say to your son: You will be a dentist! You ask him what he'd like to be. Isn't that the way? So... haha You will not be gay! Ok dad.
Yeah sure...
anyways I know that kind of parents, my children had friends with similar. If you get them mad, it might worsen things up. Maybe you can ask them what they foresee for you, how they pre-constructed you in their head. Then again, this might not be a good idea, or it depends how it's done. If you confront them, you might not see positive outcomes.

I think it's your life. So it's for you to decide. And 13 seems to me like a critical age for these matters so... I don't know what else to say... You must seek the help of a professional who will understand your plea as soon as possible, therapist, doctor, idk a nurse... and get their support. Seek for services in your area that could hear you.
best of luck