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Anyone's voice becoming more fem around family?

Started by Elis, March 13, 2016, 03:56:09 PM

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Elis

I've been on T for just over 4 months now and love how deep it's getting. I no longer have the crippling dysphoria I had pre T were I wanted to avoid talking when possible. But I find when I talk to my dad or brother (who I'm awkward around and don't have a close relationship with) my voice seems to become higher :(. It probably still sounds male to others; I hope. I just wonder if my voice will always be like this around family. I try to talk in a lower range and consciously make my voice sound as male as possible when I talk to cashiers. And when I practice my voice it sounds pretty decent and not fem. Any one have anything similar?
They/them pronouns preferred.



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Tossu-sama

Not around family but quite often around people I don't know. More so I feel like it's more when I'm around other guys so it could be just because I'm subconsciously comparing my voice with theirs. Maybe it's something like that for you as well?

Whenever I start feeling insecure about my voice I remind myself that I pass voice-wise in the phone with no trouble these days. :)
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Dee Marshall

I have just the opposite. I sound relatively female (it still needs work) around everyone except Sweetie. With her my voice sounds male and runs between higher and just as it was.

Sent from my SHIELD Tablet using Tapatalk

April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
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Elis

It might be because my dad is uncomfortable with me being trans; so I try to make the changes to my voice as unnoticeable as possible without meaning too. Do you think that's the same for you Dee? Just curious.
I think I pass on the phone too now; when I listen to a recent voice recording of my voice I sound more or less male.

Tossu-sama- why wouldn't you try to make your voice sound as masculine as possible around strangers? Just that when I'm around strangers I try to make my voice sound gruffer now that I'm a lot more passable.
They/them pronouns preferred.



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Dee Marshall

April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
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Alexthecat

I would think it is possible to have certain voice mannerisms around family. I currently go to a baby like toddler voice when I talk to family or people I know. It just happens and I don't think about it but I think we subconsciously talk to people in a certain way and it would be weirder in our minds to change that. You probably subconsciously think your family hears you as a girl so your body tries to keep your voice like that. You just need to actively think about talking low and if you keep doing that your body will get use to it around them.

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Tossu-sama

Quote from: Elis on March 13, 2016, 04:55:09 PM
Tossu-sama- why wouldn't you try to make your voice sound as masculine as possible around strangers? Just that when I'm around strangers I try to make my voice sound gruffer now that I'm a lot more passable.

I don't really feel the need to try to make it lower. Sure, I don't exactly sound like Vin Diesel and I look more like a kid who's just hit teenage but I know I look and sound male enough to pass pretty much all the time. I just don't look like my age at all, that's my current problem but I don't think there's much I can do about it.
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Felix

My voice gets high when I'm around bureaucrats, children, very old people, and anyone who seems to be afraid of me. And some shopkeepers. For me it's not a problem. It paints me as gayer than I want to act, but that has never caused any problems.

My kid is 16 and adult-sized so my voice is stable with her.

I have found that variations in my voice are almost never noticed by others. If your voice wavers or cracks you can just roll with it. Even if it's uncomfortable people won't give it a second thought if you act confident.

everybody's house is haunted
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Ayden

Around kids and my parents and grandparents, yes, my voice gets higher.  Also when I'm talking to my partners parents and when I'm irritated it tends to rise.

I don't mind much. There's really no doubt that I'm gay so people just assume that's how I talk. I do try and be aware of it though since I don't want to have constant fluctuations in my tones.

Sent from my SM-G920I using Tapatalk
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Peep

Definitely when i'm nervous (so when talking to any stranger lol) and when talking to children or animals P:
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AlexW

Any time I talk to my parents, my voice goes way up and childish. I hate it and try not to do it, but even the slightest lack of focus and up it goes. Sometimes with  my sisters too. My normal voice is naturally tenor, but it just flies up the register near family.
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Emileeeee

Opposite side, but when I talk to my boss, I always start off nice and feminine and by the end of the conversation, I sound like a guy.
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whereto

i think we tend to have higher pitch when talking to someone who we're kind of nervous/afraid of. or it's the other way, someone who we feel pretty close to.
i notice my voice is happy and higher when i talk to my parents and girls. haha.
but my voice is very low to start with. i passed all the time when i was pre T. and i wasn't afraid of speaking like other pre T trans men since my voice is not a give away. i guess i was lucky on that note. 
now 2 months into my hormones, my voice starts to crack up a lot and it couldn't be any lower. i actually have a hard time speaking because it's so low, i have to practice to higher the pitch up to a normal level.
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Elis

#13
I think another reason i may be self conscious of my voice around my dad; is because I want to be seen as male; which isn't easy as he's not comfortable about me being fem. Plus I want my voice to sound deep and masculine; and not so much like a gay guy's voice even though I am fem and queer (no offense meant Ayden).
He went with me to the doctors yesterday and while I was speaking to my GP I think u subconsciously lowered my voiced. I'm not sure if my dad noticed.
It's good to hear other trans guys have the same problem. We always talk about if our voice passes but not so much how our voices sound to others.
Whereto- yeah my voice used to do that. It did that embarrassing thing of starting out low then cracking and sounding high pitched by the time I finished my sentence :D. It should even out by 3 months; at least it did for me.
They/them pronouns preferred.



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FtMitch

I think a lot of people revert to the voice they are "used to" when talking to people they have know a long time.  My ex-fiancĂ© had what he used to joke was a "white voice" because interviewers would be shocked that he was black when he came in to interview after a phone session--the only time he used ebonics was around family when he would slip into the speech pattern they were used to him speaking in.  My voice gets higher around people I am comfortable around, so yeah it gets higher with family and close friends.  However, I've always talked a bit gruff so it's not a big difference between my low and high.
(Started T November 4, 2015)
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