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I really hate being transgender sometimes....

Started by Angélique LaCava, March 19, 2016, 12:08:34 PM

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Angélique LaCava

Guys hav a sick perception on transgenders and think we should all hav implants and plastic surgery. A guy msged me and said That I'm hot so I told him I'm transgender and he said he didn't care cause that doesn't change wat he thinks.... So next he asked if he could see my boobs and I told him that I've only been on hormones for 3.5 months so they are just an A cup and after I told him that he blocked me....
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Madison (kiara jamie)

sounds like that has more to say something about guys then it says about being transgender, they're kinda douchebags, just saying


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Angélique LaCava

I just feel like guys wouldn't treat me like that if I was a natural born girl. I never heard of a guy blocking a natural born girl cause her boobs were too small.
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Peep

If they only care about your cup size, they aren't the kind of guys you want anyways
think of it as a way to filter out the ones to avoid
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Laura_7

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on March 19, 2016, 12:43:37 PM
I just feel like guys wouldn't treat me like that if I was a natural born girl. I never heard of a guy blocking a natural born girl cause her boobs were too small.

Well I'd say be a bit patient with the guys .. you might explain what transgender means... its possible many people do not know ...

and many guys honestly just want to see nips ... many girls with small cup sizes also have boyfriends who love them ...

you might tell them you may show them your treasure a bit later .. so they have something to look forward to ...
and that its supposed to be expanding ...

its also a matter how its presented  ;)


*hugs* and don't be sad ... there are also many nice guys out there ...
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PrincessButtercup

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on March 19, 2016, 12:43:37 PM
I just feel like guys wouldn't treat me like that if I was a natural born girl. I never heard of a guy blocking a natural born girl cause her boobs were too small.

Oh, it happens more than you realize - and it goes both ways. When I was single I had guys who didn't want to date me because mine were too big. I've had small breasted friends who've had the same experience. Some men are just incredibly shallow. The good news is that you don't really want to waste time with those people anyway because they're usually just looking for one thing and it's not intelligent conversation.
Female since birth, female til death & an unquestionably inflexible heterosexual CIS female in between who happens to be married to a non-binary male who identifies as male.
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archlord

Im living similar experiences to you Angelique.. I also feel like it would have been 100% better if i was born natural woman.  There are also guys that are looking for transwoman that didnt have SRS.. My fear on going with someone that is aiming for this is . i want SRS.... what will happen after? He will leave me?  so im trying to stay away from guys that exclusively look for transwoman.... and ive a bunch on my facebook :/    Most of them also are annoying asking to see naked pictures etc ( NOOO never do that).    Then there are the regular guyz that have no idea i am trans and talk to me inviting me on date.. Im just uncomfortable to go out with someone without him knowing about everything  and most of the time they say that they are  attracted to woman but they couldnt live with transwoman...

I am bisexual so i am also talking to a few lesbian and honestly most of them have same mentality as guy ( i couldnt be with a transwoman)..

I went a on a trip at montreal and i went out with a few trans friend on  lgbt bars and a few guyz were totally different then the majority and acting with me like if i was a queen.. I was just unatracted.. You just have to find the right person .. and its much harder for us i agree  :-\   But its possible :)

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Emjay

Sounds like he did you a favor honestly.   I wouldn't want anything to do with him if that's all he's interested in. 




Start therapy:                            Late 2013
Start HRT:                                 April, 2014
Out everywhere and full time:      November 19, 2015
Name change (official):                            February 1, 2016
I'm a Mommy! (Again) :                             January 31, 2017
GCS consultation:                        February 17, 2017
GCS, Dr. Gallagher (Indianapolis, IN)  February 13, 2018
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stephaniec

the reality is one that you absolutely can't change no matter what . Your not cs gender other than mentally and you will never ever be cis gender other than mentally . You  talked about a lot of guys and they all seem to be idiots. I guess when you use the bar environment that's going to happen.  There is no escaping the fact that guys go to bars to get laid . I've met a very sweet man form Starbucks. I've know him for a long time and I inching toward him slowly. There are guys out there that are looking for someone to be with. Honestly the guys you seem to be picking up maybe hot looking , but their brains seem to have been misplace somewhere a long the line. Your like 40 years younger than me and if I can get a sweet man who happens to be a lot younger then me you should not have any trouble whatsoever,
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T90

I can honestly say that I'm delighted I like girls. Feels like it's going to make one aspect of transition a little easier, not actively engaging with men in that way. I'd be perfectly happy living a life without any men in it to be honest.
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abd789

Quote from: T90 on March 20, 2016, 11:13:10 AM
I can honestly say that I'm delighted I like girls. Feels like it's going to make one aspect of transition a little easier, not actively engaging with men in that way. I'd be perfectly happy living a life without any men in it to be honest.

***hits the "like" button***
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Mermaid

#11
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope you know that it doesn't imply anything's wrong with you... In reality, I think that most guys don't care that much about breast sizes. On an individual level, they might be attracted to or prefer a certain size, but I'd be hard-pressed to believe that many of them would be writing off potential partners for a "not enough boobs" reason...

Sounds like an isolated <not allowed>. Plus, he flat-out asked to see your boobs... Good riddance, his behaviour might have actually benefited you =P

Quote from: T90 on March 20, 2016, 11:13:10 AM
I can honestly say that I'm delighted I like girls. Feels like it's going to make one aspect of transition a little easier, not actively engaging with men in that way. I'd be perfectly happy living a life without any men in it to be honest.

Ugh, yeah, wait until you have contact with reality and some lesbian doesn't want to date you because of your genitalia, or because of what you "used to be".
Men and women are raised in the same society, you know... Their realities aren't so distinct; there's going to be good and bad on both sides. Being attracted to one sex over the other isn't really a boon, but being trans might be a curse.
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cindianna_jones

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on March 19, 2016, 12:08:34 PM
Guys hav a sick perception on transgenders and think we should all hav implants and plastic surgery. A guy msged me and said That I'm hot so I told him I'm transgender and he said he didn't care cause that doesn't change wat he thinks.... So next he asked if he could see my boobs and I told him that I've only been on hormones for 3.5 months so they are just an A cup and after I told him that he blocked me....

I get one or two of these perverts a week from my FB page. It IS sad that we can't seem to meet the right sort of person. The outside sees a perversion of sex. We look out and want ourselves to be seen as who we are.  It is so unclear in our society. We are still not accepted. And it is painful sometimes. Some day...

Cindi
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T90

#13
Quote from: Mermaid on March 21, 2016, 06:51:28 PM
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope you know that it doesn't imply anything's wrong with you... In reality, I think that most guys don't care that much about breast sizes. On an individual level, they might be attracted to or prefer a certain size, but I'd be hard-pressed to believe that many of them would be writing off potential partners for a "not enough boobs" reason...

Sounds like an isolated <Not Allowed>. Plus, he flat-out asked to see your boobs... Good riddance, his behaviour might have actually benefited you =P

Ugh, yeah, wait until you have contact with reality and some lesbian doesn't want to date you because of your genitalia, or because of what you "used to be".
Men and women are raised in the same society, you know... Their realities aren't so distinct; there's going to be good and bad on both sides. Being attracted to one sex over the other isn't really a boon, but being trans might be a curse.

I'm attracted to women but feel no need to ever pursue anybody. Had several major relationships in my life, including one engagement, all of which I've ended due to having little need for such a thing. I've never ever asked anybody out, as I really don't feel the need for a partner. I think I'm built to be single. HRT might change me in this regard of course, but that's my experience of life so far. Unless someone is desperate to get with me, then I can guarantee nothing's happening.
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Serenation

Well I'm glad that you only hate being trans sometimes. I can't think of a single time when I didn't hate being trans.

In my experience with straight guys, the further into transition you are the more ok with it they are.

So maybe he didn't like A cups, or maybe it was what you told him about HRT. You don't have to apologise to guys about having A cups, if that's what you have that's what you have.
I will touch a 100 flowers and not pick one.
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stephaniec

transition for me is about myself not whether some hot wealthy business man traveling the world to make a lot of money walks into the bar I go to and needs to be with me for the night. I wouldn't refuse though, my integrity is important ,but for one night with a hot man I can bend a little. I hope I didn't go off the track.
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Angélique LaCava

Quote from: Serenation on March 21, 2016, 07:55:46 PM
Well I'm glad that you only hate being trans sometimes. I can't think of a single time when I didn't hate being trans.

In my experience with straight guys, the further into transition you are the more ok with it they are.

So maybe he didn't like A cups, or maybe it was what you told him about HRT. You don't have to apologise to guys about having A cups, if that's what you have that's what you have.
further u r in transition? I'm goin on 4 months in 2 days. So r u saying just cause my boobs arnt d cups that I'm not far enough in my transition? In my opinion the only way I could "further" my transition is SRS. Honestly "straight guys" could care less how far u r in ur transition. They r either ok wit it or they arnt, Yea they might be ok wit it if u hav a vag, but they arnt goin to be ok wit it if u just hav bigger boobs. I've asked many straight guys bout that n they all said they wouldn't care how big their boobs were that they wouldn't be interested.
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stephaniec

well, then it comes down to  knowing   whether you want to transition knowing that a straight guy will probably never want you.
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Laura_7

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on March 22, 2016, 10:55:31 AM
further u r in transition? I'm goin on 4 months in 2 days. So r u saying just cause my boobs arnt d cups that I'm not far enough in my transition? In my opinion the only way I could "further" my transition is SRS. Honestly "straight guys" could care less how far u r in ur transition. They r either ok wit it or they arnt, Yea they might be ok wit it if u hav a vag, but they arnt goin to be ok wit it if u just hav bigger boobs. I've asked many straight guys bout that n they all said they wouldn't care how big their boobs were that they wouldn't be interested.

I'd say don't get upset  *hugs*

Imo what interests guys is femininity.
From your photo you look very nice.
So if you just try to be a bit laid back ... and tease the boys a bit ... and make a few hints the boys might get what they want later ...
imo quite a few guys are ok with it.
Telling you are trans ... imo not first thing ... then getting to know each other better ... and if people are ok and really like you many are ok with it imo ...
Many people also said they had offers for s*x from friends ... so its not that people are not attracted ...

imo its mostly when people are told and do not know what it means ...

*hugs*
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Emileeeee

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on March 19, 2016, 12:43:37 PM
I just feel like guys wouldn't treat me like that if I was a natural born girl. I never heard of a guy blocking a natural born girl cause her boobs were too small.

There was a recent video online of a guy that did a dating profile as a woman (not trans) to get tips on what he's doing wrong in the dating scene. He got inundated with stuff like that.
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