Rude Cabbies

[Tristyn]

Anyone here had any experience with rude cab drivers but were able to find some solution to either change services or have your requests met (i.e. the name and pronouns you want to be addressed as)? I have very limited resources due to lack of employment (however, I am currently a student) and I do not own or drive a car so I have to take public transportation to and from dialysis as well as other medical appointments.

Yes, this does suck because I have to ride a cab service most of the time to be able to use my insurance as payment instead of out of pocket money which I cannot do since I do not have a job. My dialysis social worker can't even really help me in this one.

My insurance appoints whoever they want to come and get me. I just hate it. I mean the other day one really rude cabbie kept calling me a lady and said other things that would be too inappropriate to repeat here about what's between my legs. I wanted to explode but I somehow remained calm through it all. The conversation did point itself in a more favorable direction when the cabbie started telling me that I need to be myself no matter what.

And I kinda agreed about some of what she said about not getting so upset when I get misgendered because with the name I have legally and the fact that I was assigned female makes it almost impossible to be recognized as male and I shouldn't get angry about everyone's misunderstandings of this. But I still felt disrespected. It was painful as hell to be called something I'm not so many times in one day....Anyone else had to ever deal with this or are dealing with this now and how, if ever, did you overcome it?

[FTMax]

If they're contracted by your insurance, then they know where to pick you up from and where to take you to. As far as I'm concerned, there's not much need for conversation beyond that.

I take Ubers around the city here between work sites, and I pretty much just get in, say hello, confirm the address of where we're going, and put my headphones in and close my eyes. If they ask, I usually just say I'm prone to motion sickness if my eyes are open. Typically, once they see the headphones go in, they don't even try to engage with me.

So I'd suggest trying that? Headphones in and tune out. Their job is to drive you places, not talk to you.

[Peep]

If your insurance always uses the same taxi company you could talk to the company about taking note of your pronouns etc - which is kind of a long shot at working i suppose - or you could at least report behaviour that made you feel uncomfortable

the headphones/ motion sickness idea is pretty good, no one wants someone puking in their cab

[Tristyn]

If they're contracted by your insurance, then they know where to pick you up from and where to take you to. As far as I'm concerned, there's not much need for conversation beyond that.

I take Ubers around the city here between work sites, and I pretty much just get in, say hello, confirm the address of where we're going, and put my headphones in and close my eyes. If they ask, I usually just say I'm prone to motion sickness if my eyes are open. Typically, once they see the headphones go in, they don't even try to engage with me.

So I'd suggest trying that? Headphones in and tune out. Their job is to drive you places, not talk to you.

Yeah that's a fantastic idea. I meant to do this a while back but I need to ask my social worker from dialysis if she can hook me up with Ubers through my insurance. I've heard you and other members talk about how much better they are than taxis. So it's worth looking into and I'm wondering why I haven't done that yet.

The headphones/motion sickness is a great idea too! I used to have an Ipod that I messed up. I have a PSP and can use that as a distraction instead. I guess the problem is that some cab drivers mean well and try to speak to me. I get easily guilty sometimes, speak back and pretend I am not bothered by the constant "she's" and "ma'ams" and "misses." I think from here on out I will either pretend to fall asleep, actually go to sleep, or play with my PSP while using headphones. When you appear preoccupied like this, people are less likely to bother you. The cabbie from yesterday meant well. But he kinda annoys me because he talks a lot and doesn't allow much time for me to provide any feedback. He cuts me off a lot to the point I wanted to just shut down but I kept acting engaged so I wouldn't appear immature, childish and rude. He kept calling me a "her" and it really pissed me off especially when I appear as masculine as I do even without T.

[cindianna_jones]

Tell them where you need to go, not where they should go. Ha!

Seriously, just let it go. Most people don't get it and it isn't worth the time or trouble to use a short encounter with someone you'll never meet again to try and explain. Be a duck, let it slide off.

[stephaniec]

I take cabs a lot because I have a had time walking. I need a scooter or Harley . I've found that there is a definite proportion of cab drivers that were born without brains. There are a lot of good peole , but there is definite the few that were given lobotomies in childhood.

[Tristyn]

Tell them where you need to go, not where they should go. Ha!

Seriously, just let it go. Most people don't get it and it isn't worth the time or trouble to use a short encounter with someone you'll never meet again to try and explain. Be a duck, let it slide off.

You really don't understand, Cindi. I'm not paying out of pocket to ride with these cabs like you think I am. I said in my initial post that I ride through my insurance. The insurance appoints many of the same drivers because these drivers usually pick up people like me who use vouchers or their insurance.

Therefore, I feel compelled to tell them sometimes that I prefer Phoenix and even ask to be referred as male in some cases. I hate calling my insurance because they "ma'am" me for an eternity even after telling them multiple times and even the manager that I want to be referred to as male. I gave up with that. Like they are bonified-stupid or something.

I take cabs a lot because I have a had time walking. I need a scooter or Harley . I've found that there is a definite proportion of cab drivers that were born without brains. There are a lot of good peole , but there is definite the few that were given lobotomies in childhood.

Lol. Funny statement about the cab drivers right there, Stephanie. I think alot of them are either deaf or they are pure buttholes just out to get you. I swear.

You like motorcycles? I do too! I want an American Chopper so, so, so bad!

[stephaniec]

I/d settle for a scooter to get around , but a Harley would be cool.

[FTMax]

I get easily guilty sometimes, speak back and pretend I am not bothered by the constant "she's" and "ma'ams" and "misses."

Regardless of who is paying the bill, you are a paying customer. Most businesses still subscribe to the "customer is king" mentality. Their drivers SHOULD be bending over backwards to make you feel comfortable and ensure your repeat business. Just think if every insurance-paying customer like yourself had a bad experience and complained about it, prompting the insurance company to contract with another provider - that's a lot of money that the taxi company would not be getting anymore. Somebody would probably lose their job over it.

So don't let yourself feel guilty, especially over something so small as ignoring someone while you have headphones in. Sure, in another time years ago it would've been considered rude. But now it's pretty much par for the course. And when you think about the rudeness that employees in other service professions encounter, being ignored by a customer is 1000x better than being yelled at or cursed at.

[Tristyn]

Regardless of who is paying the bill, you are a paying customer. Most businesses still subscribe to the "customer is king" mentality. Their drivers SHOULD be bending over backwards to make you feel comfortable and ensure your repeat business. Just think if every insurance-paying customer like yourself had a bad experience and complained about it, prompting the insurance company to contract with another provider - that's a lot of money that the taxi company would not be getting anymore. Somebody would probably lose their job over it.

So don't let yourself feel guilty, especially over something so small as ignoring someone while you have headphones in. Sure, in another time years ago it would've been considered rude. But now it's pretty much par for the course. And when you think about the rudeness that employees in other service professions encounter, being ignored by a customer is 1000x better than being yelled at or cursed at.

I'll give it a shot, man. Also you bring up another good point about complaining. I will complain to my insurance because complaining directly to the taxi manager is futile due to her lack of answering queries. Like she is so bad about it. So maybe my insurance should be the ones I need to discuss this matter with. I think complaints have been filed before many times.

But it was a long time ago and they probably need to hear my complaints some more to get the picture. Some cabbies are very respectful and I wish I could go with those type of drivers all the time. But that won't work because there are not enough of them for that.
I still am wanting to look into better transportation services. There has to be a way, other than saving up money for a car and getting a job so I can maintain it. That'll be the day!

[King Malachite]

I fully agree with Max's headphones idea, and was going to suggest that myself, especially a large, visible pair of headphones.  I would come out to the vehicle with them already around me, greet them, confirm the address, and the immediately put them on.  I put my headphones on while riding the bus to play my Vita, and also to keep people from talking to me.  It usually works 99 percent of the time.

[Tristyn]

I fully agree with Max's headphones idea, and was going to suggest that myself, especially a large, visible pair of headphones.  I would come out to the vehicle with them already around me, greet them, confirm the address, and the immediately put them on.  I put my headphones on while riding the bus to play my Vita, and also to keep people from talking to me.  It usually works 99 percent of the time.

It is a great idea, Malachite. The only issue I have with headphones is that they make my ears itch. I have really bad tinnitus. Right now I only have earbuds. The nice thing about these type of headphones is that I can take one out of my ear if that ear gets unbearably itchy. The thing I hate about these earbuds is that they look too girly. But they were the only ones available and I am happy just to have any at all.

[King Malachite]

It is a great idea, Malachite. The only issue I have with headphones is that they make my ears itch. I have really bad tinnitus. Right now I only have earbuds. The nice thing about these type of headphones is that I can take one out of my ear if that ear gets unbearably itchy. The thing I hate about these earbuds is that they look too girly. But they were the only ones available and I am happy just to have any at all.

Ah, that makes sense.  I usually use headphones since I can hardly get earphones to fit my ears.  Whatever most convenient to you!  Another option could be is to make a phone call to someone every now and then if you can.  I could see myself doing that.

[Tristyn]

Ah, that makes sense.  I usually use headphones since I can hardly get earphones to fit my ears.  Whatever most convenient to you!  Another option could be is to make a phone call to someone every now and then if you can.  I could see myself doing that.

The phone call thing is a good idea too. But I would probably pretend to be talking with someone, lol. I don't have a life, so I don't have people to talk to like that. Everyone else seems to have one and are busy with work and things. I remember one cabbie was still trying his darnest to speak to me even though I was clearly speaking with someone on the phone. And some of them try to talk to me while I am sleeping and tired from dialysis. Some of them are that annoying. Many of them may only utter three words the whole trip through. I wish they were all that way.

[King Malachite]

The phone call thing is a good idea too. But I would probably pretend to be talking with someone, lol. I don't have a life, so I don't have people to talk to like that. Everyone else seems to have one and are busy with work and things. I remember one cabbie was still trying his darnest to speak to me even though I was clearly speaking with someone on the phone. And some of them try to talk to me while I am sleeping and tired from dialysis. Some of them are that annoying. Many of them may only utter three words the whole trip through. I wish they were all that way.

Ooooh, I'm getting frustarted just hearing about that.  Some people really don't know how to take hints.  I was on the bus going home from college one time playing my PSP with earphones on when a lady decided to talk to me about karate.  It was only when the girls with her basically told her to leave me alone.  The pretending to talk of the phone thing is an idea, but I'd be afraid that it would ring in my ear and that would be super embarrassing, so I'd make sure to call my voicemail, haha.

[MugwortPsychonaut]

Cabbies are the worst. They're also extemely aggressive and dangerous drivers.

You know what I like to do? I wave 'em down, like I want a ride, holding my phone in my hand. Then as they stop and I open the door, I look at my phone and say, "Oh wait, no! I have a ride!"

Rinse. Repeat.

[Andie73]

I gave up with that. Like they are bonified-stupid or something.

Thank you!  I now have a perfect description of folks I run into on a regular basis.

Keep a log on incidents and cabbie names...  I suspect one things they do understand is money. Use this log when filing a complaint with your insurance company... make sure they know if any of them are repeat ->-bleeped-<-s to establish a pattern.

*hugs*

[Tristyn]

Thanks for the replies, everyone.