I've survived a war. This war, like all others before it, was psychological. It was painful, confusing, and disorienting. Identity is a peculiar thing. Who are you? Who am I? Of course our names are merely our titles. We are is the story we tell ourselves and the story we want to be remembered by. But our stories are far from complete. Who we are has yet to be. For 24 years my mind has rationalized certain thoughts away from the truth. That truth once terrified me. Eventually, your mind can no longer rationalize these thoughts away from the truth. At some critical point, your mind reaches a consensus, and your identity is established. I've accepted who I am, and who I have yet to be. One day, if not already, so will you.
Life past this critical point is a continuous phase change. It's a challenge, unlike anything I could've possibly imagined — and that makes it the most thrilling. Like all challenges, it will be a journey. A journey that I have just begun and a story that one day will be shared with the world. But this isn't my only journey. It's but one of many.
I am a mathematical physicist. What can I say? I've fallen deeply in love — with chasing rabbits down holes and looking for black cats in dark rooms that probably don't exist. I want to know how the universe works — on all scales. Including the scales in which consciousness becomes emergent. My ultimate goal is to discover the mathematical structures of consciousness. This herein lies my greatest epiphany. My mind is undergoing a natural perturbation. With appropriate introspection, and with the fervor of a mathematician and scientist, I may be in the most unique position to realizing my ultimate goal.
"We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and by the depth of our answers" — Carl Sagan
