This is just a negative rant I need to get out.
Things have been going pretty well for me lately. Amazingly well. And for the first time in my life. I keep asking myself whose life I'm living, because it certainly can't be mine. There's no possible way to get to where I am now from where I was. For a long time I seriously considered the possibility I've actually died and gone to hell, because life seemed to keep offering me a glimmer of hope, leaving it there long enough for me to get my hopes up, and then taking it away.
Alright, pretty overly dramatic or whatever I know, but it sure seemed like a pattern. But then lately I've been having good things happen to me, things were clicking into place in all aspects of my life. I was so excited for the possibility held in my future that I sometimes couldn't sleep or sit still.
Yesterday the community college I attend sent me an email saying the music program is being closed. This is utterly devastating. While it should be a relatively minor thing to overcome, the circumstances of my life are such that this completely destroys the one path I could find to get where I wanted to go.
Except for a few people I care about, there's not really anything for me in North Carolina now. But I don't see how moving could possibly be an option. I'm not sure I could even stand to be away from those people now anyways. I don't know what I'm going to do, I don't see any way to fix or move past this.
