So TS people will transistion hey?

[TheBattler]

Why has everyone waiting for me to make the decision to transistion. I am going on the path of least resistence but it seams my next few years are going to be mixed up until I correct this "problem". I never hated being male - my problem was the derpession taking over my triathlons.

I started when I 1st went to therapy I wanted to get rid of my need to dress. Seams like we as a comunity should look at way to help people like me in the future so they do not get onto the slipper slope of being TS. I stated last week my best outcome would be a happy male. I wish that option was open to me.

I will state again - I never hated being male - I had a great life before depression. It seams I am drawn towards transistion - I do not like it - I will try not to fight it - but I will never regret the male part of my life like some TS do who wish they where born as a female.

  >

Alice

[tinkerbell]

Why has everyone waiting for me to make the decision to transistion.

Because you are the only one who can make such an important decision.  None of us is in the position to make it for you. 



tink

[TheBattler]

I would of love to of found a way to be a happy male. Why was that never an options? Why can I not find a way to be a happy cross dresser? Why is this happening to me?

Alice

[tinkerbell]

Why can I not find a way to be a happy cross dresser?

Alice

Perhaps (note that I said "perhaps") because you are NOT a cross-dresser.  When are you going to see this Sydney therapist again, Alice?  I had the impression that you had enjoyed your session with this person.  Give it a few more sessions, allow him to help you discover yourself a bit further.

tink

[TheBattler]

I have not set up a time for the next appointment - I am working through his recomendations and it seams to be transistion for me will start next year. I am just trying to get my head arround the enormity of it all.

Yes he was very good. My doctor will hopguly talk to him soon about why he recomended HRT so soon. I guess I am prepare for transistion next year.


Alice

[shanetastic]

Why has everyone waiting for me to make the decision to transistion.

Hehe, because no one will give you such big advice and tell you what to do.  Ultimately, this is the life your persuing, or not, and your going to have to live with the decision for the rest of your life.  I guess therapy only helps you become more aware and help you sort out all the other problems, but no therapist would ever tell a patient what to do in this situation.  I remember mine telling me that sometime too.  Like, no one else can make this decision for you, you have to find out what's right.

I will state again - I never hated being male - I had a great like before depression. It seams I am drawn towards transistion - I do not like it - I will try not to fight it - but I will never regret the male part of my life like some TS do who wish they where born as a female.

That's fine by all means, I don't think you have to hate being male.  I hated / hate being male, but at the same time I fought with myself for years over this because I didn't want this other future.  Yet, when I noticed how depressed and sad my life really was, it was either live that until I do something stupid, or transition, and try to make the best out of it.  So far it's scary, but I'm not fighting it anymore.  I hope you can do the same as well, if this is something your going to persue.


Good look with the therapy and everything, Alice.  I hope it all turns out well for you; that's what we would all like to hear

[TheBattler]

It feels real now in my life - not just some type of theory which many or many not happen. I have thought about it often enough - but it feels like it will happen now.

*Shudders*

Alice

[BCL]

Alice,

There is still a long way to go to decide If or When you transition.

Although you have professed to accept the fact that you may be TS and stop the denial, there is still an undercurrent of negativity and lack of acceptance in your posts, almost a catch 22 situation in that you are being driven along the path of transition.

Believe me when I say the commitment to this process has to be 100% (or greater), absolute and the resolve has to be there and make it work, whatever curve balls life will throw you.

If it is with reluctance that you head towards transition, then dont even go there, If you do believe its a  certainty then your mindset has to be right to go into this.

You do need time, you need to examine your innerelf and reflect, time and time again on what is best for you. If the negativity is because you are scared, frightened of the unknown then everyone who has gone before you has faced that long walk towards a dim and distant light.

Many people I know never hated being male (hey its got some great perks), but hated what you had to do and be on a daily basis within that life. Yeah, some people like me hated my body, but not all.

Question, debate all you want, take your time and decide what you want.

Rebecca

[Steph]

My views on the question you pose in the title of this thread are well known here.  Having said that, no matter what others may think or state the decision to transition is one that only you can make.  Therapy will not or should not tell you that you should or shouldn't transition but rather reveal/confirm the way you feel thus helping with such a decision.

One thing is for certain, and you've seen it here, is that once started transition can be a slippery slope, fraught with pitfalls, upheavals, and for the vast majority though - happiness.  Just be sure as the decision to transition will be a life changing step.

I understand the turmoil that you face and just know that we are here for you, but now I'm preaching to the choir.

Steph

[Rachael]

Why has everyone waiting for me to make the decision to transistion. I am going on the path of least resistence but it seams my next few years are going to be mixed up until I correct this "problem". I never hated being male - my problem was the derpession taking over my triathlons.

I started when I 1st went to therapy I wanted to get rid of my need to dress. Seams like we as a comunity should look at way to help people like me in the future so they do not get onto the slipper slope of being TS. I stated last week my best outcome would be a happy male. I wish that option was open to me.

I will state again - I never hated being male - I had a great life before depression. It seams I am drawn towards transistion - I do not like it - I will try not to fight it - but I will never regret the male part of my life like some TS do who wish they where born as a female.

  >

Alice

you know what? life sucks...
i didnt choose to be ts, or to transition, or to be messed up in the way i am, hey, if i could get a magic pill to make me happy as male, id take it (mastectomy and male passing aside) it would be so nice and easy, but so far, there is no 'cure' in the getting rid sense, but transition can cure it to some extent.
o this is your decision
o not everyone who dresses is TS
o what do you want?
o can i get fries and an extra large shake with that kthnx?
o you are your driving force, only you know your mind, be true to yourself, decide what YOU want, then do it. Dithering around only FOSTERS doubt, not real doubt either, your imagining ways to stay in comfy limbo.

R

[Suzy]

Hehe, because no one will give you such big advice and tell you what to do.  Ultimately, this is the life your persuing, or not, and your going to have to live with the decision for the rest of your life. 

Sounds great in theory, but in real life, people do indeed give that kind of advice.  I receive it very often.  I'm sure Alice does as well.

Kristi

[Berliegh]

Why has everyone waiting for me to make the decision to transistion. I am going on the path of least resistence but it seams my next few years are going to be mixed up until I correct this "problem". I never hated being male - my problem was the derpession taking over my triathlons.

I started when I 1st went to therapy I wanted to get rid of my need to dress. Seams like we as a comunity should look at way to help people like me in the future so they do not get onto the slipper slope of being TS. I stated last week my best outcome would be a happy male. I wish that option was open to me.

I will state again - I never hated being male - I had a great life before depression. It seams I am drawn towards transistion - I do not like it - I will try not to fight it - but I will never regret the male part of my life like some TS do who wish they where born as a female.

  >

Alice

Alice, if you can cope with being male, stay the way you are. Don't get pressured into anything by your peers and take into account all the pros and cons of what a transition means. I know someone who also suffered from depression and she thought transition was the answer. She is halfway there (boob job, facial surgery) and to a certain now regrets her decision. She blames her finacial situation on her transition which is possibly related to the cause but not the only reason. If you can get by with being an androgenous male I would think it was a much easier option. Depression can be caused by various sources and a full male to female transition may not cure it in all cases.

[TheBattler]

Grr. This is what I am trying to hi-light.

I am a woman and the idea of being a man repulses me. 

Stormy

Why be repulses by being a physical Male. The fact is that is where all MtF start. What repules me is I need to go throught transistion just so my brain (or inner soul) can get its way. My life was never bad - OK I did not fit in for most of the time but I worked hard and found a place I enjoyed. I always wished I was female but as the saying goes "Do not wish your life away".

At the start why is there not a way to accept we have a male body and be happy with it. If the disphoria is a mind/body conflict - why can some not invent a way to fix the mind.

Many people I know never hated being male (hey its got some great perks), but hated what you had to do and be on a daily basis within that life. Yeah, some people like me hated my body, but not all.

I can be sympathertic and have reactions like a female. I can be considerate of other people like other females. I always like the things I could do with my body and never hated my body. Why should I wish for a female body? Sure I would like that softer touch ETC of being female - but the fact is I have a male body and never should of gotten depression.

>  >  >  >  >

Alice

[Lori]

Alice...yer a mess. You've been a mess and you remain a mess. I suspect tomorrow you will be a mess again so I'll tell you again. Instead of fighting it and spending ALL of your energy contemplating what you are or not, you need to take action and find out. You are running around in circles bumping into the same walls over and over again. Arent you tired yet? I sure as hell am.

To be honest I didnt hate being male either. It wasnt that bad, I just realised one day when I had the acrid taste of gun oil in my mouth, none of that ->-bleeped-<- was worth it. You have to decide to be happy and NOBODY can decide for you. Its your decision. Somebody told me one day to "->-bleeped-<- or get off the pot". Well guess what. If you like going over the same thing time after time, try another angle because that side of you is getting so bruised and sore its wasted and withdrawn from normality.

I wished i was born female because transition sucks and it just would have been easier then to go through the hastle and BS of changing. We are like snowflakes, no two are alike..yet we are still all snowflakes. Dont expect your life and feelings to be like the other snowflakes. Because you are different, you will fly, and land different. Nobodies experiences will be yours..its unique. So dont take what everbody else says at heart. They may hate being male, but that is them, not you.

[Julie Marie]

You don't have to hate one life to be happier in another.  Many transsexuals have said they never hated being male, they just knew they would be happier being female.  Donna Rose is one of them and so am I.  It's easier to make the decision to transition if you absolutely hate the body given to you at birth but there's nothing wrong with simply knowing transitioning will make you happier.  You don't have to leave miserable to find happiness.

Julie

[TheBattler]

Alice...yer a mess. You've been a mess and you remain a mess. I suspect tomorrow you will be a mess again so I'll tell you again. Instead of fighting it and spending ALL of your energy contemplating what you are or not, you need to take action and find out. You are running around in circles bumping into the same walls over and over again. Arent you tired yet? I sure as hell am.

To be honest I didnt hate being male either. It wasnt that bad, I just realised one day when I had the acrid taste of gun oil in my mouth, none of that ->-bleeped-<- was worth it. You have to decide to be happy and NOBODY can decide for you. Its your decision. Somebody told me one day to "->-bleeped-<- or get off the pot". Well guess what. If you like going over the same thing time after time, try another angle because that side of you is getting so bruised and sore its wasted and withdrawn from normality.

I wished i was born female because transition sucks and it just would have been easier then to go through the hastle and BS of changing. We are like snowflakes, no two are alike..yet we are still all snowflakes. Dont expect your life and feelings to be like the other snowflakes. Because you are different, you will fly, and land different. Nobodies experiences will be yours..its unique. So dont take what everbody else says at heart. They may hate being male, but that is them, not you.

Hmm Lori - I guess I am going arround in circles. I do need a way to get out of this mess.

Many transsexuals have said they never hated being male, they just knew they would be happier being female.  Donna Rose is one of them and so am I. 

Julie

Thats what I needed to hear - It is not about hating who I am ATM - it is about what will make me happier in the future. I must remember that I am doing this for a long term future. I am expecting the book from Donna Rose to land on my doorstep soon.

Alice

[Nero]

At the start why is there not a way to accept we have a male body and be happy with it. If the disphoria is a mind/body conflict - why can some not invent a way to fix the mind.

There isn't a way to accept and be happy with a male body if you are female. A person who had no options of ever changing their body to fit their mind may eventually accept what they cannot change, but would never be content with it.

I can be sympathertic and have reactions like a female. I can be considerate of other people like other females.

You do not have to be female to exhibit these traits. Try to concentrate on being yourself, instead of worrying whether certain characteristics are more typical of a certain sex.

[shanetastic]

There isn't a way to accept and be happy with a male body if you are female. A person who had no options of ever changing their body to fit their mind may eventually accept what they cannot change, but would never be content with it.

Nero, you have a good way with words   But it's sad that that statement is true.  My mom and I were talking tonight and she was like, "Are you sure there's nothing else you can do, do you have to change?"  It's odd in a sense, I don't want this, I never asked for it, but I still have to do it.  I've tried that whole fitting body to mind thing, and it failed misserbly, so now on to stage II, getting it to actually fit.

[Rachael]

something people dont like to accept or consider is varying levels of GID, i dont think it is the same effect on everyone....
some may feel ok, personally, im repulsed by my genetalia, ive cried infront of the mirror naked, wishing it away, some can live male, if they can, its a blessing, live a normalish life please! dont transition unless you really have to for any chance of happyness...
im transitioning to end a 19 year nightmare...
R

[Lori]

something people dont like to accept or consider is varying levels of GID, i dont think it is the same effect on everyone....
some may feel ok, personally, im repulsed by my genetalia, ive cried infront of the mirror naked, wishing it away, some can live male, if they can, its a blessing, live a normalish life please! dont transition unless you really have to for any chance of happyness...
im transitioning to end a 19 year nightmare...
R

That is a really good point. I hear so many do this to be happy. Transitioning really won't make you happy, but it can allow you to find happienss.