I really need to vent

[Hunchdebunch]

I really need to vent, I may end up posting in this thread often if things continue how they are 

So here comes a rant

I am so fed up, and so dysphoric. I'm hurt by how often my coworkers still misgender me. My boss literally called me a 'girl' yesterday (it often happens if people refer to me within a group, like saying 'girls' or 'ladies'), and it felt so much like she slapped me in the face. In the same day, I was called 'the lady on the till' (or similar) around 5 times by customers. I halfway corrected one customer by saying 'I'm actually not a lady' without providing further clarification (about being neither a man or a woman). He apologised and was polite about it, but seemed very surprised (probably because he would have naturally assumed that meant I'm a guy). The thing is, correcting him didn't really make me feel any better, the hurt from his mistake was still there.

I can't really wear my binder much at the moment, because I have this annoying tickly cough and I don't want to be unsafe with my binding. But this also means I can't do anything much about the biggest source of my physical dysphoria.

Today, on top of being misgendered by customers again, I was asked some invasive questions by a coworker. 'What were you raised as?' led onto questions about whether I'm intersex (but phrased in a really offensive way) and if that's why I'm non binary. So yeah, literally had a coworker ask me about my genitals. That was pretty uncomfortable, but it was actually mainly because it made me think about my body and made my physical dysphoria worse.

And then just in general, I'm struggling with my job because I just feel irritated by people recently. Like other than my close friends, I just want to be left alone. Unfortunately, working retail doesn't really help there. I just hate being around strangers lately because of how people perceive me, my social dysphoria is probably worse than my physical dysphoria at this point.

I just wish I could stay home and do my art or play video games because those are basically the only real comforts right now because I can kind of forget who I am for a while.

[stephaniec]

so no harm intended , just trying to understand the situation. Are you on HRT, do you have a name that's legally what you identify as, do you have an HR at work and do they have policies guiding interactions of employees and management.

[Hunchdebunch]

so no harm intended , just trying to understand the situation. Are you on HRT, do you have a name that's legally what you identify as, do you have an HR at work and do they have policies guiding interactions of employees and management.

I am out to my coworkers as non binary and have explained that the correct way to refer to me is with 'they' pronouns and not using gendered words like girl, boy, man, woman etc. My coworkers are accepting of it, but still slip up almost every day unfortunately. I currently don't have any intention of going on T, and probably never will. I haven't legally changed my name, but my boss has said that if I want to be called by a different name she will do so. I haven't asked anyone at work to use my chosen name yet because of the fact they mess up so often with the pronouns and gendered language. I don't want to give them even more to think about.