To give a very brief explanation this is a work related occurrence.
To give a semi dim light into the problem that is my issue with the new manager.
Okay so today marks about two weeks of work days of dealing with this new manager. As per the company exercising a rotational management swap, there has been numerous changeovers with some of the more shall I say seasoned workers who give me the light of day in outstanding respect.
The first time I met this manager that came on board to my own location, coming from the same general location region wise as being still in the bay area of California, I wasn't working at the time, so I come into the store, in my yoga attire after school on a day off. At first of course the general greetings of "hi I'm [insert last name]" and that he was the new store manager, we get into business about school and military schedule and how we can work my hours giving me the hours that I require and it will not overlap with any of my previous obligations. Also get into the aspect of why I go by my last name and not by my birth name and such, this is the first mention that comes from his own mouth "that I will refer to you as [last name]" and we can just cut out gendering all together, needless to say within the span of 20 minutes on talking with my co workers, while I am still right there talking to his he references "him" I give him the benefit of the doubt, at the same time in the case of talking with the assistant manager about myself, in due diligence my assistant manager does mention that I prefer the use of female pronouns. Then the manager reinstates his own view of insisting to not have any gendering from his accord but as reference to my last name. Before I am leaving from this occurrence he does mention male pronouns again to another co worker of mine. I shrug it off and call it a day without any more words.
The second time I get in contact with this manager, this is after a military weekend and a couple days past. This time I am actually in uniform and working. He opens up in a casual distinction of "morning boss, my first thoughts without anything else going on in the timeframe, is that this general casual greeting is mainly in an aspect of male gendering. So I politely ask him if we can have a quick discussion in the office. I do suggest to him that in any form of male pronoun use is generally not my position of reference. And that in a respectful tone and manner suggest that the relay of the noted earlier suggestion of use of just the last name as due for respect. He agrees to this standpoint, and also refutes the whole, "well females can be bosses too" and so I make a stand in saying, as respect is given can we not make that reference again, which he agrees upon. Before he is leaving for the day as schedules are not the best in terms, he again references me with male pronouns with my co workers.
So this is before my scheduled Sacramento trip for military training happens for two weeks, which has been brought to him on our first meeting as noted.
So come this week, which is the week that I am back into this field of work again. Not much of a mingle Monday, as I was coming in and not even a half an hour interaction, there comes a customer who "poses a dilemma for this morning" <I will get to this later on>
Wednesday working my same shift, but he is in a standpoint of carrying on extra hours himself to get things done. Of course an issue therein lies of the male pronoun usage to co workers and in regards customers as well. I do make a quick note to him about his own words of referencing me by my last name, and it is in a repeat circular record that he is to refer to me as my last name in which I have called him out on yet again.
Okay lets move onto today, (note at the start of my shift I have been up for 24 hours due to not being able to sleep).
So as I am walking in, I note who he is talking to, which is the lady from Monday that is having issues with the prepaid green dot money card and its activation, of which after I clock in we then get into conversation about the ordeal, and we both agree on that it needs further accountability from our loss prevention team, as he says he is going to email after this. But in this time of speaking about the ordeal he refers to me with male pronouns again rapid succession in a few happenstances in the conversation. After the whole of that discussion, he then opens up with "so do you have any concerns, complaints, etc etc etc...." So I gently remind him to stay away from the pronoun issue that seems to be persistent, and remind him of his words of referencing me as my last name as per inclusive to dealing with customers.
This is where he gets a bit defensive in his stance on using male pronouns, as he and the customer has been dealing with the words, and he justifies it as saying "I do not mean any disrespect, but I am relaying the story as the customer had used the word first, and in which he disregarding previous talks he keeps the reference to the pronouns instead of correcting toward [last name] as he had agreed upon with his own words multiple times.
So after this is said and done, and we all start our own routines of work. Since I am at the foreground of the store and he is well wherever he needs to be in his course of action. Our loss prevention guy steps in for his shift. After a quick little bit of getting his stuff together, he then comes to talk to me and so he then relays himself in the respect of "so you go by [last name]" actually getting the pronunciation right the very first time. (Brief background with this guy, is well he was with the store for a literal two weeks, which was right before I had officially come out to my manager. So he knows the name of what not to use, as well as since he has been around on a small occasion while i have been working with my last name.)
Anyways he then tells me that he is going to be training a new recruit today who is coming in in about a half an hour.
So as the whole when she does come on into start training, introductions occur and everything, as of course in my aspect I start with introducing my last name of course, letting be known it is my last name , and as a secondary notion I do state as per a not so confusing lettering to the English language and my last name that I do go by the name of Kate. Which comes out in a response from the recruit as well as the original loss prevention guy, states that that sounds much easier to deal with and not as confusing as per possibly getting my name all scrambled up, as it is day to day with some of my co workers. And as such they determine themselves to within respect that they will use Kate.
This sounds like it wont cause any sort of conflicts or commotion... But as work gets into a more busy standpoint, and getting close to lunch times and such. My manager asks that before I leave off for lunch he would like to talk to me in private. So okay, waiting on the other to get back from lunch, finally comes in...
So this meeting consists of him "So in regards to our discussion previously about reference to last name and co workers and not to get confused with legalities...speech" ends up getting the names reference with Kate and "last name" etc... That something was going through his mind, purely defensive to his own course of action as trying to reason as to with others to use last name and not Kate as not to confuse co workers etc... And so I completely reiterate the talk of with loss prevention and the new recruit, of what exactly happened and not his rewording that I was confusing others in stating that I "want to go by Kate" and not go back to my last name which struck me as odd because that was completely backwards logic of what really happened.
So anyways I iterate to him as the caption as to how I introduced myself to the new recruit and as well our own loss prevention guy, as"I am [last name], but I go by Kate as well which would seem less confusing" which both of them had agreed upon their own course as to their own reference to myself.
While I am letting my manager know this story as its truth, he is trying to cut me off and interject, but I politely ask him to let me finish what I am saying before he has any words.
Afterwards he goes into defensive mode like crazy, like I personally attacked him. So words are exchanged in a relative (respectful as he sees fit), of having the statements of "walking on eggshells" and that I "am still legally male" an a few other statements, including he wants to know his own rights inclusive with working with me(basically wanting to cover his own behind) ...
And so as it is past the time in which I should have gone to lunch, my accelerated heartbeat, and a possible panic attack is about to happen. I cut him short of going on and on with legalities and everything I have already known and had expressed with hr in the past. I let him know it was past my lunch, and if we can continue on this matter later on.
So after lunchtime of course we are quite busy and go on the way of handling things, and as my supervisor steps in for his shift he does notice that I am not in the best of mindsets, as he comes in to help handle our busy hour, this is where the manager cones to the sidelines while we are busy, and asks me of we need to talk any more before he leaves for the day. As the close quarters that the space is given for work and such with my supervisor is basically right behind me. As I do pay attention more on the quality of service I give to help people, I apologize and excuse myself as a quick glance of working customer service, turn in my managers direction and simply say no, turn back and deal with working.
Now my predicament is in this, I know it has been brought out through the forums of local laws with transgender rights to work, discrimination and as such are all somewhere gathered.
But if I may ask in here for links to laws of California, possibly specific to the San Francisco Bay Area side. On these aspects.
As well as if there are any laws governing the workplace management aspect for handling working with transgender populous. Which I am thinking the same laws and effects of said laws are one in the same.
Kate <3
