There is no solution to this.....or maybe there is!

[PipTheCat]

Why make inferences and not just come out and say it so there is no confusion?

From your posts is seems you've been asking am I transgender? That is a very different question to, are these feelings generated by some other psychological disorder and not gender dysphoria? If they say gender dysphoria then you can decide on how you deal with the feelings.

[jayne01]

From your posts is seems you've been asking am I transgender? That is a very different question to, are these feelings generated by some other psychological disorder and not gender dysphoria? If they say gender dysphoria then you can decide on how you deal with the feelings.

I don't understand what you mean. Isn't gender dysphoria something only transgender people experience? I thought gender dysphoria and transgender go hand in hand.

[PipTheCat]

I don't understand what you mean. Isn't gender dysphoria something only transgender people experience? I thought gender dysphoria and transgender go hand in hand.

Gender Dysphoria is the diagnosis, Transgender is the identity label. True that some(most?) transgender identified people have gender dysphoria. But you can be fully transitioned to your affirmed gender and may not have gender dysphoria or have it to a lesser degree and maybe not even identify as transgender anymore. You could have gender dysphoria and not identify as transgender (maybe even have strategy to handle those gender dysphoria feelings).

[jayne01]

Gender Dysphoria is the diagnosis, Transgender is the identity label. True that some(most?) transgender identified people have gender dysphoria. But you can be fully transitioned to your affirmed gender and may not have gender dysphoria and maybe not even identify as transgender anymore. You could have gender dysphoria and not identify as transgender (maybe even have strategy to handle those gender dysphoria feelings).

I'm still having trouble following. I am in so far over my head with this stuff. I hardly understand any of it.

I think I might just be having a monumental mid life crisis and got myself all twisted up. I have all these terms buzzing around in my head, not knowing what half of them mean. It feels like my head is going to explode! I can't take anymore!!!

I used to think I was a simple person. I knew the sky was blue, if I was thirsty I'd drink something, if I was hungry I'd eat something, the sun rise in the east and set in the west. Simple things. I like simple. Now I know I'm a male and I'm questioning if I am a woman or not!!!!!!! WTF? People are talking about gender identity like they might talk about the weather. Where is the simple in that?

I cannot relate to about 99% of the things I read on this forum. I keep checking here several times a day to look at the unread posts hoping to find something that I could maybe relate to. I think that if I can post on someone else's thread then maybe it will also help me better understand myself. I can never think of anything relevant to post. It seems that most people on here come from another planet, or more precisely, they all come from the same planet and I am the one from outer space somewhere. I don't feel like I belong here. You are all lovely people and have gone above and beyond to make me feel welcome and help me. Maybe the reason I am having such a hard time is because I am not transgender at all. If I was, then surely I would be able to relate better to at least some people on here. I read all of your replies, usually multiple times, to try and understand exactly what you are trying to say. Then reading my replies, it is clear that I don't understand most of what is being said. I'm not a stupid person but I certainly feel stupid when it comes to all things trans. I'm just not getting it.......

[PipTheCat]

I'm still having trouble following. I am in so far over my head with this stuff. I hardly understand any of it.?

Transgender is a spectrum and has many variations which can be hard to take in in a short period of time. Maybe you should start small rather than trying to understand it all at once. What is the most basic thing you want the know?

I think I might just be having a monumental mid life crisis and got myself all twisted up. I have all these terms buzzing around in my head, not knowing what half of them mean. It feels like my head is going to explode! I can't take anymore!!!

It can feel like a midlife crisis, I know it shakes your foundations. Maybe you to need a small break from things and recharge.

I cannot relate to about 99% of the things I read on this forum. I keep checking here several times a day to look at the unread posts hoping to find something that I could maybe relate to. I think that if I can post on someone else's thread then maybe it will also help me better understand myself.

I never related 100% to things I see here I just see bit of threads of relatedness in some posts which add up to a small correlation. I had a big hang up about not knowing about it when I was younger (although there were signs) and worried about not being trans enough cause I was non standard.

Hugs

[jayne01]

Transgender is a spectrum and has many variations which can be hard to take in in a short period of time. Maybe you should start small rather than trying to understand it all at once. What is the most basic thing you want the know?

What is wrong with me? What is my problem? What am I? Why don't I understand any of this? Take your pick.

It can feel like a midlife crisis, I know it shakes your foundations. Maybe you to need a small break from things and recharge.

I have tried doing that. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop trying to answer the question. I'm not getting any younger and if I am transgender and if I do need to transition I don't want to waste anymore of my life. But I can't do anything unless I am sure. I'm kind of stuck in limbo not knowing anything and currently I am the worst person I could be, instead of being the best I could be. I'm stuck in no mans land. This whole thing sucks beyond what any words could ever hope to describe and the worst part of all is that my wife is being affected by stupid ass moronic actions. She deserves so much better than me. I have let her down in ways that I am finding unforgivable.

I never related 100% to things I see here I just see bit of threads of relatedness in some posts which add up to a small correlation. I had a big hang up about not knowing about it when I was younger (although there were signs) and worried about not being trans enough cause I was non standard.

Hugs

I am not expecting to relate 100% to things here, I'm saying I DON'T relate to nearly 100% of what I read. I can certainly understand the struggles people talk about, usually, but not in a way that I can relate to. Not in a way that makes me think, "I am transgender so I understand exactly what you are saying". I'm not getting that.

[Gertrude]

What is wrong with me? What is my problem? What am I? Why don't I understand any of this? Take your pick.

I have tried doing that. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop trying to answer the question. I'm not getting any younger and if I am transgender and if I do need to transition I don't want to waste anymore of my life. But I can't do anything unless I am sure. I'm kind of stuck in limbo not knowing anything and currently I am the worst person I could be, instead of being the best I could be. I'm stuck in no mans land. This whole thing sucks beyond what any words could ever hope to describe and the worst part of all is that my wife is being affected by stupid ass moronic actions. She deserves so much better than me. I have let her down in ways that I am finding unforgivable.

I am not expecting to relate 100% to things here, I'm saying I DON'T relate to nearly 100% of what I read. I can certainly understand the struggles people talk about, usually, but not in a way that I can relate to. Not in a way that makes me think, "I am transgender so I understand exactly what you are saying". I'm not getting that.

Being transgender may be the least of your issues and I don't say that with malice. We've gone round and round here and its as if we're dealing with a 8 year old. Either you aren't telling us the whole story or you're a troll.  If there's more to why you don't or wont get it, tell us. It's like someone coming to me saying their head hurts and there's a fork sticking out of it, so I tell them so and they reply they don't believe me. That's whacky.


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[jayne01]

Being transgender may be the least of your issues and I don't say that with malice. We've gone round and round here and its as if we're dealing with a 8 year old. Either you aren't telling us the whole story or you're a troll.  If there's more to why you don't or wont get it, tell us. It's like someone coming to me saying their head hurts and there's a fork sticking out of it, so I tell them so and they reply they don't believe me. That's whacky.


Sent from my iPhone, inspected and certified by the NSA

I don't know what a troll is, and I wish I was 8 years old, maybe as an 8 year old it would be easier to make me understand.

If a fork was sticking out of my head, it would be very obvious and a simple look in the mirror could verify that. There would not be anything to not believe. The proof would be right there, sticking out of my head.

Maybe it would be best if I leave here after all. I only seem to impact people's lives in a negative way and I'm sure the last thing any of you need is more trouble.....

[LizK]

Jane

Why do you not get yourself to a Psychiatrist well versed in gender issues who CAN give you the diagnosis?

Liz

Edit: it would be somewhere to start and they will be able to give you the definitive diagnosis you want.

[PipTheCat]

What is wrong with me? What is my problem? What am I? Why don't I understand any of this? Take your pick.

Your problem is that you are having these feelings and they are causing you distress. What are you unfortunately only you can answer that after a process of self discovery. Why don't you understand I don't know maybe you are expecting a simple answer that resonates with you.

I have tried doing that. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop trying to answer the question. I'm not getting any younger and if I am transgender and if I do need to transition I don't want to waste anymore of my life. But I can't do anything unless I am sure. I'm kind of stuck in limbo not knowing anything and currently I am the worst person I could be, instead of being the best I could be. I'm stuck in no mans land. This whole thing sucks beyond what any words could ever hope to describe and the worst part of all is that my wife is being affected by stupid ass moronic actions. She deserves so much better than me. I have let her down in ways that I am finding unforgivable.

You sound like you are wanting to have this stuff easily resolved into a black or white answer which in life rarely happens, things in life are always probabilities and have risks and sometimes there are easy choices and others are hard. And it is usually a lengthy process (maybe over many years) to come to terms with these feelings and maybe accept that your transgender. With your wife, you may be projecting your feelings of lack of resolution of this process onto your wife who sounds like she loves you and is supportive of you through this process.

I am not expecting to relate 100% to things here, I'm saying I DON'T relate to nearly 100% of what I read. I can certainly understand the struggles people talk about, usually, but not in a way that I can relate to. Not in a way that makes me think, "I am transgender so I understand exactly what you are saying". I'm not getting that.

But you do relate to a small fraction. Maybe the answer lies in that small fraction.

I don't know what a troll is, and I wish I was 8 years old, maybe as an 8 year old it would be easier to make me understand.

A troll is someone who creates false posts for the enjoyment of getting replies and sometimes incite anger and frustration in the respondent. Feeding the troll is replying to said posts. It can be like you're 8 years old because these feelings are so new and scary.

If a fork was sticking out of my head, it would be very obvious and a simple look in the mirror could verify that. There would not be anything to not believe. The proof would be right there, sticking out of my head.

But these feelings are not a simple case of a fork in the head. Sometimes doctors and patients are stumped for answers and it involves a protracted investigation to identify the cause and sometimes they can't find the answer. Things regarding the mind are doubly more so. I know I had both.

Maybe it would be best if I leave here after all. I only seem to impact people's lives in a negative way and I'm sure the last thing any of you need is more trouble.....

To leave that is your choice to make, but I find it no trouble as yet and are not negative affected. If you want to pm questions and not "bother" others feel free but you may miss out on others pearls of wisdom.

Hugs.

[jayne01]

Jane

Why do you not get yourself to a Psychiatrist well versed in gender issues who CAN give you the diagnosis?

Liz

Edit: it would be somewhere to start and they will be able to give you the definitive diagnosis you want.

How do I do that? It was hard enough to find a psychologist who understands gender issues. I asked my GP and they didn't know anyone, I searched the web and contacted several psychologists. It was only by chance that I eventually contacted a psychologist who had previously worked with the person I am seeing now.

Does anybody here know of any psychiatrists who know about gender issues in Sydney?

[PipTheCat]

+1 for ElizabethK's suggestion of a psychiatrist.

My gender experienced psychologist gave me a name of a gender experienced psychiatrist to take to my GP who then referred me to the psychiatrist.

[jayne01]

A troll is someone who creates false posts for the enjoyment of getting replies and sometimes incite anger and frustration in the respondent. Feeding the troll is replying to said posts.

That is messed up. I'm definitely not a troll.

[Sno]

I feel for you, I hate Jargon, and there is lots of jargon in psychology.

Some of those terms are well used, and conceptually understood, but lack of research, means there is little proof (in a rigorous scientific sense), just overwhelming balance of probability (empirical observational science). These results are still scientifically valid, if the correct control test has been performed.

Likewise on the web, and social media there are terms that have been developed to describe behaviour - a quick Google will tell you what the current meaning is.

Google will help immensely with searching for "psychiatrists in Sydney who help with Gender identity issues"

Your perception that you are a negative impact, is because you are dysphoric - you have a profound sense of unease about yourself, and you are trying to rationalise it to feel better. Thats your struggle, and your journey; we will support you as much as we can, we are not professionals though

[hugs]

Sno

[ryokohimura]

How do I do that? It was hard enough to find a psychologist who understands gender issues. I asked my GP and they didn't know anyone, I searched the web and contacted several psychologists. It was only by chance that I eventually contacted a psychologist who had previously worked with the person I am seeing now.

Does anybody here know of any psychiatrists who know about gender issues in Sydney?

http://www.gendercentre.org.au/

Contact them. If they' are like the Q Center over here, they'll help. In fact....

http://www.gendercentre.org.au/support/male-to-female-support.htm

[LizK]

How do I do that? It was hard enough to find a psychologist who understands gender issues. I asked my GP and they didn't know anyone, I searched the web and contacted several psychologists. It was only by chance that I eventually contacted a psychologist who had previously worked with the person I am seeing now.

Does anybody here know of any psychiatrists who know about gender issues in Sydney?

Don't know if the info is any good but worth a try

A third source of information in case the other two don't help:

Dr Tracie O'Keefe DCH, BCH, NSHAP ADV DIP THP,
RMCAPA, IADCH
Doctor of Clinical Hypnotherapy, Psychotherapist & Counsellor
Director, Australian Health & Education Centre
Professor of Sex, Gender & Sexuality, Calamus International University
Australian Health & Education Centre
3 Glebe Place
131-145 Glebe Point Road
Glebe
Sydney
NSW 2037
Australia
Tel +61 (0) 2) 9562 6802
Fax +61 (0) 2 9399 6587
E-mail info@tracieokeefe.com
Website www.tracieokeefe.com

[jayne01]

http://www.gendercentre.org.au/

Contact them. If they' are like the Q Center over here, they'll help. In fact....

http://www.gendercentre.org.au/support/male-to-female-support.htm

Thanks for that. I have tried contacting them in the past. They never returned any of my calls or replied to any emails I sent.

[jayne01]

Don't know if the info is any good but worth a try

A third source of information in case the other two don't help:

Dr Tracie O'Keefe DCH, BCH, NSHAP ADV DIP THP,
RMCAPA, IADCH
Doctor of Clinical Hypnotherapy, Psychotherapist & Counsellor
Director, Australian Health & Education Centre
Professor of Sex, Gender & Sexuality, Calamus International University
Australian Health & Education Centre
3 Glebe Place
131-145 Glebe Point Road
Glebe
Sydney
NSW 2037
Australia
Tel +61 (0) 2) 9562 6802
Fax +61 (0) 2 9399 6587
E-mail info@tracieokeefe.com
Website www.tracieokeefe.com

I have heard some interesting stories about her, and not in a good way. I won't repeat what I have read incase it is not all true, but what I read basically told me to beware of her qualifications. I'll leave it at that. Besides, she isn't a psychiatrist anyway.

Thank you anyway.

[Emileeeee]

I had a hard time finding therapists in the past too. The site people kept referring me to was littered with lots of people with a transsexual specialty listed and all the ones I tried clearly had no idea what I was talking about. I ended up getting a referral from here to finally find a legitimate one. I'm not in Australia though.

[LizK]

I have heard some interesting stories about her, and not in a good way. I won't repeat what I have read incase it is not all true, but what I read basically told me to beware of her qualifications. I'll leave it at that. Besides, she isn't a psychiatrist anyway.

Thank you anyway.

Thats a pity I thought it might be a starting point...I have a friend in the Psych system in QLD who I will talk to and when I was looking for one myself I found a few in Sydney Brisbane...not sure if any of them were any good but will see if I can find the resources I used and will pass along anything I can find out.

Liz K

Edit: what about contact a Psychiatrist locally then just going and having a chat. Doesn't have to be in huge detail he may be able to say yes I can help you or no I can't but this person can...just a thought