Trans and autistic

[AnxietyDisord3r]

I guess it's because I passed through an intensive period of questioning myself back in my younger years, and concluded that I didn't really have a gender as such. My consciousness, I mean. My body has the wrong gender, my mind fits much better into the opposite gender to the body's but I couldn't really say that I know what it feels like to be male. I only know that I would be more comfortable being treated as one, and the body of one seems right and comfortable as opposed to mine which feels wrong and discomforting, and so that's how I've come to identify for the convenience of the world outside my brain. So I feel calling myself "male" is an approximation of a matter almost too difficult to put into words; explaining it to people IRL has been oddly difficult, when I thought down the years I'd gotten quite good at explaining myself.

I feel the same way but I rarely attempt to tell anyone about it because they wouldn't understand. Who is "me"? Me doesn't have a gender. But dagnabit I want my body changed yesterday.

I guess all the social aspects of being a guy that some transmen obsess about online either bore or repulse me. But those aren't my kind of people, that isn't my life ... I have friends, I was hanging with them tonight, and they accept me even without 500 surgeries and a beard like a gorilla.

I can only live my life, not somebody else's.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

was diagnose with anti-social personality disorder when i was very young and was also believe to be on the spectrum so to speak. But it is so not true, so so so not true yet that thing follows me everywhere because schools look at that and think you are a explosion waiting to happen. The only way i was able to escape that diagnoses was when i moved states.
  Because apparently a 7-8 year old is develop enough to determine if you are a threat to the people around you and i think the doctor didn't realize what he was doing. Because i misread people and had personal space problem he said anti-social which Is far and away from what i am.

FWIW whoever labeled you that way was in my opinion very unprofessional and frankly it should be against guidelines to label a child that way. Frankly, I'm not comfortable that they label teenagers this way. Teens' personalities are still malleable, they still have some child attributes. In the US they are basically setting you up to be labeled anti-social as an adult. (This diagnosis is the pre-requisite to adult personality disorder diag.) They literally don't care about addressing your problems so you can have a decent life. Okay, rant off.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

My own experience in life suggests to me that a person can develop autistic spectrum symptoms at any point, or that they vary in how visible they are. I think I started off with many autism symptoms, and then later I actually reversed some of them somehow. Such as empathy - as a kid I was notoriously unable to think about how others were feeling about my actions, and now I automatically tend to weigh this stuff up before I speak in real life. At one stage my ability to empathize became too much for me to handle - I was doing it far too much and feeling far too deeply about the situations of people I knew who were having problems, or even just from reading about people's situations on the other side of the planet. I've had to learn to control the empathy I developed but apparently wasn't born with. My mother on the other hand seems to have gone from someone I once knew that was much nicer to people and far more considerate to an isolationist who doesn't much care about the people she once did. That said, she did have an aneurysm 16 years ago that nearly killed her, caused her to develop dyslexia and apparently affected certain other brain functions, but not in a way that would be noticeable to others. Maybe that had something to do with it for her.

Actually, it's a major misconception that people with ASD lack empathy.

What gets taken for a lack of empathy is actually the autistic child's sensory issues. These apparently can be overcome--I overcame mine. I learned to look people in the eye, and to tolerate skin-to-skin contact. I learned this stuff on my own-as a child I got yelled at a lot but never modified my behavior. I didn't change my behavior until I had some knowledge of what was going on with me.

I thought I had no empathy when I was 20 but I've found out that I have a great deal of empathy. Sometimes it's unbearable because there is so much suffering in the world.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

Some other random data points:

Older father = increased risk the child will have autism

Father who is ftm and was previously on hormones = increased risk the child will have autism
(Don't know if this was controlled against ftm never on hormones parents.)

But one can read too much into this. Older mother = increased risk the child will have Down's Syndrome, but that (chromosomal) disorder is not considered to be sex linked in any way. Some effects are an accident that have nothing to do with the root cause.

[V M]

Okay friends

Some off topic arguing had to be cleaned up a bit, please keep further responses on topic and avoid becoming embroiled in heated debate

Here is the original question poised by the OP:

Anyone else on the spectrum up in here? 

Topic reopened

Thank you

V M

[Kimberley Beauregard]

I think so. Formal diagnosis and issues with socialising can't be wrong. I often get subconscious misunderstandings in conversation which wouldn't occur if I was "on the ball". Socialising just doesn't usually come to me naturally so I have to really concentrate which itself comes with issues, possibly due to ADHD, but I've had occasional conversations which were more relaxed and on autopilot.

One of my supervisors at my old workplace suspected a bit of autism, but my online friends don't think I have it. One or two have picked up on the fact I sometimes misunderstand them but they chalked it down to social anxiety, and they're likely on point - many of my social mishaps are rooted in anxiety. It's never a big enough issue I've had to raise it with university or future employers, but people interviewing for a job involving heavy interpersonal skills would find me unsuitable.

I wonder if these relatively benign symptoms would become non-issues if I dealt with the source of my anxiety, which I'm slowly addressing. I've started attending an ADHD clinic and I hope I don't reach a dead end (if they don't diagnose me, they can hopefully get to the root of my anxiety).

[jossam]

I think so. Formal diagnosis and issues with socialising can't be wrong. I often get subconscious misunderstandings in conversation which wouldn't occur if I was "on the ball". Socialising just doesn't usually come to me naturally so I have to really concentrate which itself comes with issues, possibly due to ADHD, but I've had occasional conversations which were more relaxed and on autopilot.

One of my supervisors at my old workplace suspected a bit of autism, but my don't think I have it. One or two have picked up on the fact I sometimes misunderstand them but they chalked it down to social anxiety, and they're likely on point - many of my social mishaps are rooted in anxiety. It's never a big enough issue I've had to raise it with university or future employers, but people interviewing for a job involving heavy interpersonal skills would find me unsuitable.

I wonder if these relatively benign symptoms would become non-issues if I dealt with the source of my anxiety, which I'm slowly addressing. I've started attending an ADHD clinic and I hope I don't reach a dead end (if they don't diagnose me, they can hopefully get to the root of my anxiety).

Similar situation here although I didn't have a formal diagnosis. Could you tell more about the misunderstanding part and examples of anxiety? I'm working with a therapist about my issues with anxiety, and sometimes I feel like I tend to misunderstand people even when what they say is pretty obvious, but I don't know what causes it.

[Kimberley Beauregard]

Jossom, misunderstandings usually arise from not following the conversation properly. I misinterpreted a statement because the conversation moved on but I keep referring back. I'm not very good at following conversations, especially in group settings. Thankfully, people tend to find it funny rather than use it as an opportunity to insult me (I actively avoid the people who I think would).

Other misunderstandings arise when I'm not 100% sure a person is joking, and sarcasm doesn't always immediately register unless I know the person regularly uses it.

My anxiety is difficult to put into words. I always seem to be on edge (especially around people) and I'm frankly unsure why. CBT never helped me.

[lil_red]

At one time I thought I may be on the spectrum but after a lot of research I now believe I am just an introvert.  Never tried to have it diagnosed so I could be wrong.

Sent from my SM-S902L using Tapatalk

[jossam]

Jossom, misunderstandings usually arise from not following the conversation properly. I misinterpreted a statement because the conversation moved on but I keep referring back. I'm not very good at following conversations, especially in group settings. Thankfully, people tend to find it funny rather than use it as an opportunity to insult me (I actively avoid the people who I think would).

Other misunderstandings arise when I'm not 100% sure a person is joking, and sarcasm doesn't always immediately register unless I know the person regularly uses it.

My anxiety is difficult to put into words. I always seem to be on edge (especially around people) and I'm frankly unsure why. CBT never helped me.

Ok I see now. Same exact issues I have. The more I talk to people on the spectrum and see how much I relate, the more I get convinced my first therapist figured it all out.

I too tend to subconsciously ignore that the conversation moved on. My family laughs and says I get stuck and repeat the same things over and over, or that I focus too much on a detail of a conversation and ignore everything that comes after it.

Sometimes I can't focus on conversations and groups of people always make it harder unless I am very interested in that topic.

I tend to be good at spotting sarcasm, but I don't always realize when someone is subtly making fun of me, being serious or just joking around.

CBT is what is being used in my therapy but my therapist might change the approach if she see that one does not work. I try to be positive but I doubt I'll get significantly better.

[Kimberley Beauregard]

I hope you make some progress, whether with CBT or another tried-and-tested method. I established with my GP because of my condition that CBT is ineffective for me. There might be other methods which help, but it's early days for me to work out what approach I need (let alone what approaches are available).

[PipTheCat]

I'm on the spectrum dxed mid 30s as PDD-NOS (would have been Aspergers when younger).

Yes I do have problems following conversations in group setting too and even with one on one I sometimes have a delay in processing/recognising what has been said. Also misunderstanding what people have said and if there's subtext that is lost on me.

My psych asked me recently how does Austin/Aspergers affect the transgender experience. I said the one thing would be the resistance to change.

[jossam]

I hope you make some progress, whether with CBT or another tried-and-tested method. I established with my GP because of my condition that CBT is ineffective for me. There might be other methods which help, but it's early days for me to work out what approach I need (let alone what approaches are available).

Thank you. CBT is said to be effective to cure anxiety and I have anxiety issues too so maybe it will work for those. It's a little bit easier to be on the spectrum without the debilitating anxiety than being ASD and super anxious. Being trans and pre everything is an additional challenge for me. It makes things harder.

Hope you find something that works for you. I am not so positibe about myself.

[SanaRinomi]

I got diagnosed Asperger's syndrome. But I believe I got wrong diagnosed. Just because professional diagnose you, it's not sure they are right. They might be wrong or they might be right. In many cases transgender people have been diagnosed wrong before they get the right diagnose.

Same.

                                       Love,  Sarina!

[SadieBlake]

Yep, on the spectrum and aspergers wasn't generally on the map when anyone would have been paying attention to the problems I had through my early years.

I worked through a period of acute depression in the '90s with the help of a therapist who was dead set against specific diagnoses. This wasn't a bad thing at the time and she was very good at getting me to register what was happening in the moment and to be an to connect to my emotions in the moment and to separate the reality of here and now from letting my life be ruled by past and self-limiting experiences -- there's a lot of that when coming from a history of abuse.

One of the key things was to learn not to filter other people's words through my negative past experiences and to  communicate more effectively, listen better.This was also the time I came to terms with gender and to consider transition and I associated this with teaching myself to be more characteristically female, knowing that my learned behaviors make passing among women nearly impossible.

With a return of acute depression in late 2013 I made a couple of emergency visits to my first therapist while also seeking someone covered by insurance and quickly realized that she had not moved on and really didn't seem to hear the changes I had been through in the intervening 15 years; that it was still diminishing returns.

The psychiatrist I've been working with has been good for me and fortunately she also practices psychotherapy, as none of the SSRI / SSRI or NDRI drug approaches have worked well enough to justify the side effects.

I was the one who came up with asbergers as a possible behavior pattern. We did a formal evaluation and where I came out was 50:50. However as I answered the questions I was noticing  that many of the responses  would have been different before my earlier therapy and all the hard work I'd done to learn to value understanding other's feelings and the host of other behaviors I'd learned or re-learned.

What I've concluded is I'm on the spectrum and recognized that I tend to revert to strongly aspy behaviors when I'm stressed. I remain wary of clinical diagnosis in not wanting to narrow my experience by applying a set of limitations.

On the other hand I kind of wish my first therapist had offered the term autism spectrum 15+ years ago as having a model to understand myself better has been more liberating than limiting.