Men shopping in ladies department

[Rebecca]

Glad to hear you are getting more confident shopping.

Now it gets more dangerous as shopping is just too much fun but expensive.

Happy shopping

[Da]

I bought a dress recently.   The cashier,  maybe mid 50's, female,  said "I think this will look great on you".  Now,  I'm not sure she wasn't joking,  but I said thank you,  I think so too.  Paid for it and left.   No problem.  But a few months ago?   I would have died right there.

[Jenny0713]

Good job!  See?  It's not that hard. Of course, self checkout lanes are nice too.


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[DianeofCarlsbad]

I would say my love of shopping for my female needs overcomes any fears I had.

Because I certainly had fears, but now that I have done it many, many times I don't feel any of that. I shop at all and any stores I want to. Nordstrom, Macy's, Sephora, Ulta are all fun places to shop and accommodating. Let me share a couple of experiences. While at Nordstrom in the woman's hosiery department the sales woman came over, offered to help and I could sense from her questions she knew I was shopping for myself. I really felt treated as a woman would in the same situation. At Ulta, a big cosmetics store, I wanted foundation and went to the Clinique counter. Since I am comfortable shopping as a man for women's things I just told her it was for me and she had me sit down and explained about different foundations and applied one to my face to make sure it was a good match. I now have gone back to her several times as she has gotten to know me and always treats me wonderfully.

I also love small women's boutiques and have found some very helpful women there too.

The bottom line....a sale is a sale and I don't think many sales people really care if you are in male mode and shopping for your personal feminine needs.

One note though, I still don't feel comfortable with male sales people. I almost always make sure a female helps me.

[Jenny0713]

It's even more fun to shop in female mode!  Some girls and I went shopping last weekend and had a blast.  We also went to Alta and some small boutiques and had wonderful experiences.  Not sure if you are out in public, but I hope you can soon if you are not.  We also shopped at Ross and Old Navy.  The advantage to being in female mode was that we were able to try on stuff in the ladies fitting rooms where we belonged.  It was actually my first experience that day in the women's restroom and fitting rooms.  It was a piece of cake. The women in there didn't pay attention to us what so ever.  It just felt natural.  Good luck but beware, your pocket book might get empty real soon! 

Jenny

[Atom]

Large stores are a great place to  start - they care about two things:
1)Do you have money in your wallet/purse?
2)Does your Visa card work?

That's it.  Plod round, pick a few bits up, job done.  For the truly  nervous, use somewhere like a big supermarket. Self check out lanes = winning.

[JoJo87]

I definitely commend you all for being able to do so. I still can't :/ Earlier today, I was at Wal-Mart to get myself some new underwear. Since I'm still in a phase where I'm questioning myself, I thought to myself "well, maybe I can get around to buying some panties and see how they feel" NOPE! Couldn't bring myself to do it! x__X I think I'm just going to eventually order some on-line and pick up at the store or something. Plus I would have no idea what size to get, so I couldn't really do a walk-by and snag some like hawk lol I'm fairly big.. 215lbs with waist around 36ish.

[Dena]

Might I suggest you look at http://www.hanes.com as they even have sizing charts. I still order from them as they sell stuff in bulk and I can get odd size bras that are a little difficult to find in the stores.

[michelle]

When I first started shopping for my lady's clothing,  I had been married for many years and had three daughters.   I just picked up the panties and bras like I was buying for them and then bought something else like some groceries for me.   I have no problems now since I have gone full-time years ago.  I have have had a number of medical problems lately and haven't changed my male identity on my driver's licence or my insurance cards.   I just tell them I am a transsexual lady and I have been told that they couldn't tell.  It's gotten easier to pass since I have become a toothless, balding grey haired little old lady with an elementary school teacher's mannerisms.

[JoJo87]

Might I suggest you look at http://www.hanes.com as they even have sizing charts. I still order from them as they sell stuff in bulk and I can get odd size bras that are a little difficult to find in the stores.

Thank you! That sizing chart definitely will come in handy!

[aaajjj55]

I love reading these stories as buying female clothing is a key part of our right of passage.

As many others have said, the majority of stores are only interested in your money and don't care about who you are or who you are buying for.

What made me laugh, though, is the 'back stories' we dream up in case we are challenged and I can only wonder what goes through the sales assistant's mind as she yet again hears 'I'm buying for a girlfriend/wife - she's about my size'!

At the end of the day, you really don't need a back story - if it's just a case of picking stuff of the rails and taking it to pay, it's completely plausible that your wife has asked you to pay for the things while she goes elsewhere and I'm sure this happens all the time.

For those nervous about taking their first steps, I would suggest the following:

1.  Before you start, tell yourself over and over again that what you are doing is completely normal until you believe it.  There are many scenarios where males buying/paying for female items are perfectly normal and, therefore, you do not need to justify to anyone else what you are doing.

2.  Start with the bigger stores where you can browse without being conspicuous

3.  Try to figure out what female size you are before you go.  The stores' websites will help you here and asking for a garment in a specific size avoids all of the 'she's about the same size as me' conversations.

4.  For things like underwear and shoes (and other items as well if you feel uncomfortable asking specifically for them), go to the stores' websites and print off the pages showing the items you want.  Then hand write the size you want on the sheet so that when you visit the store, you can just hand the sheet over and ask whether they have the item.

5.  Cosmetics can usually be bought from supermarkets etc. that have self-checkout terminals.  Equally, I have not had any difficulties choosing items and taking them to the 'manned' tills.

6.  If you're asked, tell the truth!  We live in the 21st century where knowledge and tolerance of TG issues is on the rise.  I also sense that the majority of female sales assistants would be sympathetic and you may well find that they offer far more help and advice than they would for a run of the mill sale.

Happy shopping!

Amanda

[rickkie]

Welll this thread has been a wonderful confidence builder.

I have done the snag aas you pass with some panties and thankfully they are ok size wise I have also bought some nail polish and remover and deoderant and wax and bits and pieces like that.

I do have the sense of the bright light flashing above my head, but after this thread I aim to act more confident.

[RobynD]

Sometimes it takes time to build the confidence. Part of the realization that helped me is that people just don't care and their not looking at you. Truly- Google phrases like " saw a guy shopping for women's...etc. " There is very little out there.

Fairly early on I lost the nervousness and now i am all smily to the sales assistants and 90% of the time they are nice to me.

[Anne Blake]

Shopping for me has become a very enjoyable event. I have done most of my shopping in gal mode but some things were required to be able to do that. My first purchase was a wig that I picked up at a transgender friendly shop, I was nervous, the owners made me feel right at home. My wife fitted me with some of her clothes when we went shoe shopping. This was to be my first time out, and actually only my second time dressed. Scared to death we entered a Payless to find big shoes. The clerk read me right off but made sure that I was comfortable and helped me find some 12 side wedge sandals that fit well. Wow, I go back to that shop all the time because of her. I have found that you get what you give. Find some friendly shops that have your sizes and styles, get to know the staff and enjoy developing relationships. If you approach it with joyful expectations and confidence you will virtually always get positive responses.

I guess what I am saying is that it will always be scary at first but as soon as you can talk yourself into shopping dressed, it will become easier and easier........and addictive and expensive. Enjoy!
Anne

[rickkie]

Anne,

your wife sounds so supportive. That must be a huge help.

My wife is supportive but in shock mode....

[DawnOday]

  I am a newbie in all respects so excuse my lack of knowledge. I have been reading posts and I have ascertained that if I go into the larger commonly known department store and start shopping in the ladies department as a male for panties or bras I won't draw a lot of attention or be reproached and asked to leave and publicly embarrassed and chastised... most of the time that is? (Run on sentence  ). I know there are no real guarantees in life and nothing applies all the time in every situation.

Thanks,

I used to go around from Drug Store to Drug Store hoping no one would notice me. I finally realized I'll probably will never see this person again. So It was not uncommon to get some mascara and lipstick and a box of Kotex for my little honey who was busy getting dressed and sent me to the store.

[Anne Blake]

Rickkie,

My wife is one in a million. She started me on this path and has both encouraged me and walked with me all along the way. That first time out, she pulled together an outfit, fixed my makeup and literally pushed me out the door for our first shopping trip. It can't get any better than that. (Other than we share much of the same wardrobe and she has really helped me polish my Boho look). Sorry if I have made the rest of you too jealous.

Anne

[Thea]

I used to say, "It's for my wife," but I could tell the sales people knew I was lying. I think it made them not feel respect for me, took away some of their desire to help me any more than the bare minimum customer service standards require. I don't like to lie and it took a lot of the fun out of shopping.
I have found that when I tell the truth, they are more than happy to be helpful and friendly. I love shopping!

I am not out to friends and family yet, but all the sales people around town know me and know I wear women's clothing regularly.

[rickkie]

Anne,

Yep sounds like she sure is 1 in a million. I have a wonderful one too and I can see her being like that too in time, but for now she is still in a bit of a shock zone.

Tina, I think that is so true about the respect thing with the salespeople. If they know you are lying they it makes sense they will have a different attitude than if they feel you are honest...

[Kevinwg]

Still working on getting my first out fit in haven't even been in many lady's stores. I am so old school where he sits outside and waits.

I went in a few to shop for myself and got so flustered. Always feel like everyone is watching me.