just a curious question, How do you deal with unachievable passing abilility

[JoanneB]

I have or had major self esteem issues. Still do to some extent. I totally envy people who embrace the "I don't give a flying moose F... What You Think"

At 6 ft tall deep voice and big everything I know I cannot possibly pass 100%. I am grateful for the percentage that I do.

Back 30 years ago during my twice failed experiments with transitioning I always had that "Some guy in a dress" cloud over and inside of me. I couldn't deal with it. I was ill equipped emotionally to handle my physical limitations.

Today, walking outside in the light of day all I feel is the shear joy of being out in the real world as the real me. That positive energy is hard to overcome. Perhaps a few thrown rocks. But as long as I'm not hit by one I think I'll still feel the joy of simply being me.

The Trick.... Allow yourself to feel the joy, not the shame and guilt, of being YOU. Your very own version of you and not someone or everyone else's.

[stephaniec]

Amen

[paula lesley]

Don't really think about it. I used to, I'm just three years old  in trans years  I'm 51, 5" 11 and ride bikes on and off road. I am quite sure that people find me a little strange but I am really a nice girl 
I just love the choice being trans gives me. I can be girly and I can still ride. That is just beautiful.


Paula <3 X

[big kim]

Don't really think about it. I used to, I'm just three years old  in trans years  I'm 51, 5" 11 and ride bikes on and off road. I am quite sure that people find me a little strange but I am really a nice girl 
I just love the choice being trans gives me. I can be girly and I can still ride. That is just beautiful.


Paula <3 X

Me to, I have really enjoyed riding a bike again.

[stephaniec]

I like filling that giant wound I received the first time around with puberty. The horrendous feeling that I should be growing breasts.

[LizK]

I had to think really hard about this before my transition began because as much as I may want to "pass" I don't believe that will ever happen. I don't actually care that much because at the end of the day I had to ask myself who I was doing this for? If by the grace of the gods I do "pass" then that is a bonus. I have too many years of testosterone belting around my body to even think about being passable. I don't believe I could have FFS even if I could afford or want it. I had several facial surgeries growing up and have no intention of ever having anymore.

From everything I have read and people I have spoken to it really seems to come down to confidence as much as how you look. Confidence is something I have always managed to portray very well...fake it, till you make it, springs to mind.

I have to share this as it's kind of on topic...we were going out for breakfast this morning and in the car on the way there my wife turned to me smiling and said out of the blue "You are looking much more feminine these days not female but feminine if you know what I mean"...I felt great and thanked her for the compliment. I told her I was really looking to achieve androgenous and she agreed that I had achieved that which I must say surprised me. I didn't realise how feminine looking I can become with a few small touches...do people notice..yes...do they care?...I doubt it.  The more important question is Do I care if they notice? Not in the slightest, do I care if they approve or disapprove...not even remotely.

Liz K

[Roxy]

That's a good question. After starting HRT( a year after going fulltime) , I was disappointed about not waking up the next day looking like a supermodel, lol. However I believe it's a journey of self acceptance.  The main thing is to feel comfortable with yourself.Even though I feel completely non passing,  most people have be nice. It's you feel good and happy that comes across.  My doctor , a very nice lady , said me jokingly that you can tell how well your transtition is going by the type of guys hitting on you. I said at that beginning stage it was just creepy old men. Now I have process to couple of stalkers, a married guy hitting on me in front of his wife, much younger guys asking if I am single and do I want to hook up.  And only a month on HRT, and I still don't feel I am passing. But I am happy , things are slowing progressing. Transtition takes time, and I have plenty room for improvement, lol. I do know think all guys are creepy and quite happy to hump anything that moves lol 

[Deborah]

I have now adopted a style that is more like a 80s rock star...

LOL.  You just described me in my current state except I'm a 70s rock star.  :-). My boss a few months ago said he thinks of Jim Morrison when he sees me.

Right now I'm happy with it and everyone else accepts me as I am.  I even interviewed for and got a new job with my overly long hair so things are good.  Where it goes in the future I leave open depending on how the dysphoria goes.  I will not live with that again.