Hey Hunchdebunch. I really think it can be tough to know yourself well enough to sort through the kind of problems you bring up. For me, the breakthrough was understanding that the source of my interest in being male (such as it was) was external. I wanted to avoid the social disapproval I got from expressing a female gender.
Until I realized that avoiding negative experiences was not a good life strategy. Since starting my transition, I've had negative experiences from people who don't think I should transition, but it's very much outweighed by the positive experiences I've had from people who accept me for who I am.
Of course, I'm binary, and that's just my experience. My sister is non-binary, and I really don't understand what that's like. I love her, but I don't get what it's like to be that way. Which is fine, really. Humanity is nothing if not diverse.
Anyway, I guess confusion is okay when it comes to these things. You don't have to make a decision right now, and you can wait before you make any major decisions. One thing to keep in mind is that many transgender people feel better once they start taking the hormones that match the gender they identify with. For me, testosterone blockers and estrogen make me feel much less anxiety than I have without them. When my estrogen is low and testosterone is high, I stress about everything for no reason, just because my brain chemistry is wrong.
But whatever, it may be that none of that applies to you. One thing I would recommend though is hanging around with other transgender people. Spend some time in an environment where it's just safe to be who you are, and then maybe you can worth through some of your uncertainty about yourself.
