Low dose trial

[Megan.]

Hi, I'm not sure if anyone else has tried this, but I'm thinking about trying low dose HRT for a 3 month period, then stopping. I want to do this to help me understand the mental benefits of a longer term commitment to HRT. If anyone has tried this (either deliberately or out of circumstance) are you aware of any specific medical issues with starting and stopping, and what was your experience?

[Dena]

Others have done it but what you are proposing has a few problems. Until you are sure the blockers are doing the job, you may not feel the full effect of HRT. Sometimes this may take several blood test/adjustment cycles before the correct dosage is reached. The other issue is people often think they are "cured" and quit with the full force of the previous emotions hitting them.

I would think the better approach would be to decide to start HRT with the intention of remaining on it for the rest of your life but remaining open to re evaluation should things not work out.

[Megan.]

Dena, thanks, a good point about it taking time to get the dosage correct. I know if I do experience some mental benefit, I will likely loose this if I stop. To explain my reasoning, I am a VERY analytical person. I'm finding it impossible to decide if I should transition without assessing all the available data. I know at some point I'll have to choose, but this feels like the last bit of knowledge I could get before a final decision.

[Dena]

We have people on the site who have been on HRT for years without transitioning. Modern HRT is so much better than what I received in that is can relive the dysphoria giving you the third option of HRT without transition. The transition isn't right for everybody but staying where you are isn't much of an option either.

Because I didn't have the blockers, my decision was because what I was doing wasn't working and it wasn't until after I had surgery that I was sure I had made the right decision. I suspect I am as analytical as you are but this isn't a decision that is made with logic. It is an emotional decision, something that you and I tend not to be very good with.

Understand the the decision to transition isn't final. If at any time you discover you have made an error, it's acceptable to return to your former self. From age 13 I knew what I had to do but there are people on the site who are in a second or even third attempt at transitioning.

[Deborah]

I have started and stopped before and experienced no medical problems.  And I did have a physical in the interim and was in perfect health.  T will return to its formerly high levels after a short time and you will be as you were before.  The only permanent change I had was some extra breast tissue and that didn't bother me at the time.

The big however though is this.  The dysphoria returns full force and because you then know there is a way to stop it the experience is worse than before because now you will experience it with the knowledge that it's self inflicted.


Sapere Aude

[AnonyMs]

I couldn't decide either, but I got so desperate I had to try something. Low dose HRT felt amazing. Due to family pressure and feeling normal I stopped after a while, then I felt even worse than when I started. I couldn't take that for long and started again, then stopped, started, stopped, etc.

I discovered that I need HRT, and I've been on it for years. I know if for sure, in a way that no amount of thinking could tell me.

I eventuality got very depressed and had to increase it to a full transitioning dose a couple of years ago, which again "cured" me. I've still not socially transitioned, so the jury is out on that one.

[Megan.]

If I was the only consideration, I'd be moving forward with it right now, but with a wife and kids, I feel the need for 'due diligence'. The return of GD when I stop is my biggest concern, and it seems a real one. On the medical side I read that stopping Cypro (I'm UK based so that would be the AA) should involve a slow reduction over a few weeks.

[AnonyMs]

I used only estrogen, no anti-androgen. Its the bit that tells you how you feel. My idea, not a doctors.

With family, if you get into a bad enough state you can do more harm by not transitioning than by transitioning. I was getting to that point, but managed to fix myself with more HRT.

[Megan.]

I used only estrogen, no anti-androgen. Its the bit that tells you how you feel. My idea, not a doctors.

With family, if you get into a bad enough state you can do more harm by not transitioning than by transitioning. I was getting to that point, but managed to fix myself with more HRT.

Interesting about the E vs possible AA effects, I'd imagined the AA would be more beneficial, something for me to talk about with the doctor...
I'm separated from my family because I got into that bad place last year. I'm currently part-time, but it feels like only a temporary solution for me.

[Dena]

If I recall AnonyMs's history correctly, she is using implants which function much like injections. With a sufficiently high levels of estrogen, AA's aren't needed because estrogen is a natural blocker. I was on pills and that is hit or miss because pills may not produce hight enough estrogen levels to become a blocker. In my case, pills weren't enough but others in my therapy group reported pills producing results that would come from low T levels.

[Megan.]

Ah great, I see, so E on its own might do the job of both, at least for a short trial run. And yes YMMV

[Deborah]

When I did this DIY I used mostly E only and it worked nearly as well as with blockers for reducing the dysphoria.  But it led to other issues like getting really fat.  Maybe or maybe not directly related.

For anyone else reading this I highly recommend not going the DIY route because it's a whole lot more expensive and I nearly killed myself.  At least it felt that way with way high blood pressure and frequent chest pains around the heart area. 

I'm having none of those problems this time around.


Sapere Aude

[Jenny0713]

Dena, I don't understand your statement about being on HRT but not transitioning. I would think being on HRT would make you transition because it causes physical changes. If it creates breasts, how can you go back to being male and not transition?  I am really new at this so I am just trying to understand. Thanks!  Jenny


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[Rachel]

When I decided to try HRT my therapist asked me to remain on them for 4 months and give them a chance. I initially was going to go low dose. When the time came I asked for full transitioning dose. Three weeks on HRT I told my therapist I will never go off HRT. HRT just got better over the 4 month span of time. That was almost 3 years ago. My total T is less than 3 ng/dl and although I still have dysphoria it is much less and comes in waves now.

At a point I had to make a decision to fully transition. Not everyone has to make that decision.

Be careful when cycling hormones from MTF and then FTM. Make sure a doctor is involved.

[Dena]

Jenny, tell that to a FTM.    Seriously some people need the chemical brain reset but can't for some reason transition. HRT can reduce the dysphoria to the point that they may be able to remain in their birth role. Estrogen is not as body altering as testosterone so lose outer wear, jokes about man boobs or possibly binding can allow you to continue to pass as male. Both transsexuals and non binary may find them self in this spot as the only acceptable way for them to deal with their dysphoria. Among our population are a number of people who are using this method to buy time. How long it will work depends on the needs of the person.

As you explore the site you will discover that it's far from being just CIS or transsexual. There are many possibilities in-between and it's not hard to find people living all of them.

Another thing about people is that most are to polite to as questions that you would rather not answer. Some people respond well to estrogen but those around them just don't ask.

[Jenny0713]

Gotcha. Thanks for the clarification!  Jenny


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[AnonyMs]

If I recall AnonyMs's history correctly, she is using implants which function much like injections. With a sufficiently high levels of estrogen, AA's aren't needed because estrogen is a natural blocker. I was on pills and that is hit or miss because pills may not produce hight enough estrogen levels to become a blocker. In my case, pills weren't enough but others in my therapy group reported pills producing results that would come from low T levels.

I started quite a while ago just using patches and occasionally gel, no AA's. I intended to minimize physical changes and medical risk, while keeping me sane. Which it did. My blood level estrogen was relatively low, and my T between male and female. I felt great at the start but eventually it wasn't enough. I got depressed and decided to see an endo and go to full transitioning dose. That's where the implants came in and I also started spiro. My current blood levels of E are high as these things go, and I'm feeling good again. Because of the spiro my T dropped to low female range, possibly below.

The difference between then the "low dose" and now are quite incredible. I feel normal, and physical changes are about what you'd expect. I continue to hide the changes, keep my facial hair, and so on. I don't need social transition for some reason, although I'm not sure about longer term. I'm beginning to feel a bit uneasy with it, and hiding all the time is getting oppressive. Still, I'm not depressed yet, so life is good.

As long as I'm happy, and there's significant potential risk to social transition I'll probably not do it. Hence my idea of SRS before social, because if that keeps me happy it seems only sensible to try it. No harm if it doesn't work.

[Jenny0713]

That makes so much sense. Thank you!  I could easily see myself transitioning but not necessarily socially. Of course, time will only tell. Jenny


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