Need Essay Help! D:

[KyleEdric]

So I have to write an essay for my technology class in college. The topic was on anything, so long as technology has an integral part in it. I decided to write on technology evolving body modification throughout history. Body modification specifically dealing with tattoos, piercings, implants, that kind of thing. The aesthetic side of body modification.

I did fine with research and writing, and the only other headache that remains would be getting my bibliography sources straight, later. But I'm stuck at tying my two points together for the last page that I need to write. I covered the types of mods we're all familiar with, and how technology has both improved them and/or made them more shocking (ex: gauges, lip windows, achille's piercings, full body tattoos, scarification), I have the reasons why people get mods in the first place (anything from increasing the threshold of pain to spiritual closeness), I have examples written of the different ways technology today can be implanted into our bodies to monitor our health with the cool bonus of lighting up or incorporated into tattoos and body jewelry, and yet I can't find a way to join the two to make my case! My professor read my rough draft and said I needed to pick a side and include less info as filler.

It's very frustrating to get this far and almost get the answer I need. Like it's very much on the tip of my tongue, I just need a small push to make everything click. I've been working on this paper for two weeks now, and tomorrow at midnight is the final day to submit it. So I just need one page to wrap things up, and organize my sources. Then I'll be done for that class for the semester.

I'm so, dang, close.... 0.0;

[Dena]

I never had to write a paper like that and I wouldn't have picked that for a subject but the problem I am having is you haven't spelled out the two specific points you are trying to tie to together. I see three descriptions of what you have and the edges blend a little. For your next post, spell out each point as a stand alone item. Once you can clearly define what you are trying to join, it should be clearer how to join them.

[KyleEdric]

My points that I try to explain are:

-people are still receiving body modifications in the modern day because they want to express individuality or tell a story with their art, they get high off the endorphins and adrenaline, and these reasons are why body modification will be something that humans won't outgrow no matter how far we evolve in the future.

-to prove these archaic practices are evolving along with us, we have methods that improve the quality, healing time, and precision of certain modifications, and we have invented new ways entirely to modify our flesh.

-an example of tech intertwined with body modification would be the invention of things like light up implants that can make tattoos glow, or ID sensor chips in our hands that can unlock our doors.

Are the points at least a tiny bit clearer, now?

[Dena]

That's 3 items and not two unless you combine 2 and 3 which you could do.

Item one I think it's always been about art and personal expression. Getting high off the procedure is short term but the body modifications are for life. I have never heard of anyone planning a tattoo for months just so they could get a rush. The do it because it will show their individually for the remainder of their life. This is a basic human trait to want to be different while still being a member of a group. I personally don't feel the need to be different because by nature I am and introvert and wear my identity internally but much of the population is an extrovert and feels the need to wear their personality on the outside where it shows to the world. This determines the appearance of the body art they comfortable with. Gang tattoos reflect the gang art. Male tattoos cover masculine art and female art tends to be more flowery and colorful. The art matches the personality of those who want to express it externally.


Item two and three. Tattoos started out with a sharp thorn and a stick to modern tattoo devices that are fast and far less painful. Inks have become more colorful and safe while some are even designed to be removable should the wearer change their mind.

The link that ties these two together is demand driving supply the people wanting something new and different drive people to produce new and different ways to produce body art. If there wasn't a demand for something new, better, different, body art would not have evolved to the state it is in today. In addition, the better results cause people to want more of it. History of hundreds of years shows us that the demand will remain so the future will desire the newer, better way of expressing one's self.

I am not sure that is the point you are trying to make but that is the point I see. If you have another point, then let us know what it is.

[KyleEdric]

No, I think you helped make the point a little clearer to me, or at least help me format it in a proper sense. Thank you for your help, I do apologize for sounding scattered.

[Marlee]

take the unexpected approach perhaps.
People are too used to thinking of technology as computers and robotics. technology is actually anything humans have ever done with elements/objects from nature to enhance their lives. mixing clays to use as body decorations..the neck rings used as ritual in some tribes to elongate women's necks..or the lip discs that stretched the mouth outward.
the early processes of making body jewlery..all involved technology to some degree or another.