A quiet step out from the wings

[Sno]

A short intro, but the start of a personal journey.

I have persistent dysphoria, but am unable to identify as Femme. I am the mid-camp, a no-mans land if you like, but also no-woman's land either, the Switzerland of gender. Neutral. The blend of masculine and feminine confuses the hell out of people, and has got me into trouble...

I knew this situation couldn't continue  recently when I accidentally outed myself, at 40 something.

I am now starting the process of untangling what is me and what are fleas, will my learnings change me... Maybe, but at some point I have to become comfortable with my physical self. I feel blessed to have found this place, and to find I am not alone. That in itself is deeply reassuring.

And now back to my shadows.


Sno

[V M]

Hi Sno 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to help you along

Please be sure to review

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Hugs

V M

[Laura_7]

Hello and welcome 

Here are a few resources that could help:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,208438.msg1847638.html#msg1847638

You could try a few changes to hair and clothing style, and see how they make you feel ...
I'd say listen to a feeling of joy.

You could aks for cunseling with a lgbt center, plannedparenthood or PFLAG ...

an experienced gender therapist could help...and there are also online therapists:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,187135.0.html


If you feel like it please reach out ..
there are helplines:
www.translifeline.org


hugs

[Sno]

Thanks V M and Laura_7 for a lovely welcome, and links.

I have a lots of finding out to do...

Sno

[devourgalaxies]

Hi Sno! I'm Rinn, and although I'm a lot younger than you, I feel like our experience of gender is very similar! I too feel right in the middle of male/female, and looking back I suppose I always have. I'm always open to talk to new people, and maybe we can help each other with our experiences. Feel free to reach out!

[gennee]

Hi Sno and welcome to Susan's.

[Devlyn]

Hi Sno, welcome to Susan's Place! I  live near Boston. I send mixed signals, too, but it hasn't gotten me into any trouble so far. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

[Sno]

Ahh, the days when I was more innocent, and unaware... Obviously had my femme head on, and one of my female colleagues came into the office in a new suit - and very European in style. My femme head intervened, and I complimented her on her outfit..

2 hours later, in a senior office with HR... I still had no idea what I had done wrong.

It's only by reviewing through 'trans' knowledge now that I can understand what happened.... And quietly it raises a giggle.

I'm getting lovely welcomes. Thank you all

Sno