A short intro, but the start of a personal journey.

I have persistent dysphoria, but am unable to identify as Femme. I am the mid-camp, a no-mans land if you like, but also no-woman's land either, the Switzerland of gender. Neutral. The blend of masculine and feminine confuses the hell out of people, and has got me into trouble...

I knew this situation couldn't continue  recently when I accidentally outed myself, at 40 something.

I am now starting the process of untangling what is me and what are fleas, will my learnings change me... Maybe, but at some point I have to become comfortable with my physical self. I feel blessed to have found this place, and to find I am not alone. That in itself is deeply reassuring.

And now back to my shadows.


Sno

Hi Sno 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's a few quick links to help you along

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Hugs

V M

Hello and welcome 

Here are a few resources that could help:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,208438.msg1847638.html#msg1847638

You could try a few changes to hair and clothing style, and see how they make you feel ...
I'd say listen to a feeling of joy.

You could aks for cunseling with a lgbt center, plannedparenthood or PFLAG ...

an experienced gender therapist could help...and there are also online therapists:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,187135.0.html


If you feel like it please reach out ..
there are helplines:
www.translifeline.org


hugs

Thanks V M and Laura_7 for a lovely welcome, and links.

I have a lots of finding out to do...

Sno

Hi Sno! I'm Rinn, and although I'm a lot younger than you, I feel like our experience of gender is very similar! I too feel right in the middle of male/female, and looking back I suppose I always have. I'm always open to talk to new people, and maybe we can help each other with our experiences. Feel free to reach out!

Hi Sno and welcome to Susan's.

Hi Sno, welcome to Susan's Place! I  live near Boston. I send mixed signals, too, but it hasn't gotten me into any trouble so far. See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

Ahh, the days when I was more innocent, and unaware... Obviously had my femme head on, and one of my female colleagues came into the office in a new suit - and very European in style. My femme head intervened, and I complimented her on her outfit..

2 hours later, in a senior office with HR... I still had no idea what I had done wrong.

It's only by reviewing through 'trans' knowledge now that I can understand what happened.... And quietly it raises a giggle.

I'm getting lovely welcomes. Thank you all

Sno