I am so afraid

[Christinetobe]

I will hopefully be starting hormones under a doctora supervision in about week.  My appt with the endo is May 3rd.  I habe already had some physical changes due to self medding (stupid i know)  i stopped that about 3 months ago.  I just cant stop thinking that I am going to lose my boys.  They are my world and it has just brrn us for years.  I dont know what to say or do.  Thay are older 13 16 and 18.  I just dont want to hurt them.  I dont really have a question i just dont have any other way to get this off my chest right now.  Thanks

[Dena]

Younger children are easer to explain this to than adults. The are more exposed to the stories on the news so if you are careful how you explain it, it may not make much difference to the 13 year old. The 16 and 18 year old may be a bit more difficult but even they might surprise you.

[Laura_7]

Here are some resources for childern:

http://www.gires.org.uk/support/explaining-to-children


This could also help:

http://www.gires.org.uk/assets/DOH-Assets/pdf/doh-transgender-experiences.pdf


And its possible children receive it better than grownups ...


*hugs*

[suzifrommd]

You will most certainly NOT hurt your kids in any way by being yourself. You'll be there for them in ways you couldn't before.

Will you lose them? Unless they are intolerant people, they'll easily be able to understand that you're doing what you had to do. They'll learn you're the same person you always were.

Be prepared for your relationship to change, though. Boys don't relate to men the same way they relate to women, and you and they may have to feel your way through a new way of relating.

[Hazardus01]

Do your boys know how you feel? Are they included in decision making in any way? I'm a SO of a MTF and our boys are 14, 16 & 18. We have taken them to see my husband's psychologist individually so that she can answer any questions they might have and help them to understand how he feels and why this is happening. We have both told them they can say anything to us or they can call the psych if necessary if they have a problem with anything. Our youngest is having the most problems with it as he seems to hate the behaviour but loves his dad.


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[Denise]

My kids are older but one thing I will do is hand them a copy of Jennifer Boylan's book, "She's not There".  The story of her youth do mimics mine, it's scary.  I'm hoping it will let them know what's going on with me and it doesn't need to affect them. 

[Christinetobe]

Thank you ladies for the advice I know I just have to tell them eventually

[Rebecca]

Like yourself I was utterly terrified of losing my family and still worry from time to time but that's what I do.

My wife agrees the "new me" is far superior to "him" and neither of us wants "him" back but she struggles with me being female at times. She has come a very long way and is quite happy to be around me and out whilst I am dressed as I please (nothing fancy tbh but I only ever wear female clothes) although she does occasionally panic if I start to bounce or dance which I do when I'm happy.

My eldest daughter 11 has been my greatest surprise and at times my strongest support with absolutely no awkwardness.
Wise beyond her years with an intellect that surpasses mine (not that hard I guess lol) and apparently better educated than I thought we have had great times talking and playing.
She even worked out the answer to my existential dilemma faster than I did when I was telling her about it she is that good.
She completely accepts me and just as important to me my apologies for the years of her life that I was not me as we both know we missed out on so much.
There have been smiles, laughs and even tears but we are closer than ever.

My younger children 6 and 5 are too young to understand but they do know several things as certainties.
I love them, they love me, my favourite colour is pink, my fairy is called Jerrica (on my mug & callendar), my pony is Rarity, my hair colour is Tempting Chocolate (which is their favour colour to spy for I spy) and I changed my name to Gerry(Jerri) but to them I will always be Dad.

There is still a fear that when the younger children grow up they may one day turn around and go "You're what?!?!?" but I have faith that when the time comes and the dots are joined it will be more of a "Duh! So what..." kind of reaction.

Time will tell but whatever happens I will always love them.

[Rachel]

I hope everything goes well.

If your children have an initial reaction less than hoped it may be the shock. They may get over the initial shock in a little bit and see for who you are.