You're not insane.
Many transgender people kind of crave the hormones of the gender they identify with.
There is a biological explanation for being transgender.
The brain develops at different times than the rest of the body so a mismatch is possible.
Many transgender people feel they are kind of wired for this, kind of expecting hormones of the other gender.
You will be on hormones soon, time will pass quickly.
And usually they start out with a low dose, so you have enough time to see how it makes you feel.
Well ... something to look forward to ... try to relax ...
if it makes you sick can you pass your time differently ? Looking for clothing instead ?

hugs