My own take on knowing vs. not knowing:
To me, it's like asking whether I'd rather know I have cancer or not know.
Me, I'd rather know because:
1. If I know, I can (potentially) do something about it. The treatment might be unpleasant, and I might decide to do nothing, but I'd rather have the choice.
2. If I don't know, I won't understand why I'm having all these weird symptoms, and they'll scare me. In the case of cancer: feeling sick, weird, ongoing pains, and worse; in the case of being trans, the chronic sense of weirdness and disconnection, the weird compulsions and inabilities, the self-hatred, the frequent suicidal ideation and impulses.
Just being able to fit the life-long pain and misery, alienation from self and others, suicidal impulses, etc., into a narrative in which they made sense was a huge relief. My misery wasn't some sort of moral failing or torment I inflict upon my self just for the lulz: it's because I'm trans in a trans-erasing and transphobic world.
But it also has helped me, for the first time in my life, accept myself and find people who accept me. Things about myself that I always thought were shameful defects I'm now learning to appreciate. I'm me, and that me isn't as bad as I always thought.
Voluntarily blind myself to the darkness that smothered my life for so many years? No way!