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This guy I met online...

Started by Annaiyah, February 25, 2016, 12:48:44 PM

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Annaiyah

Quote from: GeekGirl on May 03, 2016, 01:50:12 PM
So here's something cool. I met this guy on a dating site last year and he didn't know I was trans until I revealed it to him on our third date. He was completely surprised, but it didn't phase him. His response? He was even more fascinated with me, not in a freaky, fetishy way, but in a "you must have gone through a lot" way. The reason why I told him was he was telling me about his best friend who was transitioning to be a woman and how her appearance was not quite right yet. After dinner and drinks, he drove me close to my home and I had one hand on the door handle ready to bolt out of his car in case he wanted to kill me (he was a sweet guy but a black belt in Tae Kwan Do).

"Well, wait, did you know I'm like that?" I said in response to his story about his friend.
"Like what?" he said.
"I'm like that. I'm trans," I said.
(pause)
"You are?!" he said.
"Yeah," I said, clasping onto the door handle more securely.
"Well, if you are, you're the best looking one I've seen!" he said.

And it was all good stuff from that point on. We're friends, we go out as friends, and we chat and text each other and there's no freaky ->-bleeped-<- like guys who are ->-bleeped-<-->-bleeped-<-s do. He wished we could be more than just friends, but I told him I can't, that I'm in a committed relationship (my partner is trans, too), and he's respected that boundary ever since I told him. (I met him when my partner and I were not together.) Every time I see him, we talk about IT consulting, food, and martial arts. I think that if I didn't look the way I do, I would never have been able to meet him or other guys in the first place. I'm careful who I reveal my background to because Philly has lots of stories of trans people getting hurt or murdered (of course, these people are usually in a different situation than I'm in, but still). So this is one example of how a girl can be lucky meeting the right kind of person.

Do you live in Philadelphia as well? It's strange because you're right that Philadelphia has a track record of trans people getting hurt and/or killed (Keisha Jenkins comes to mind) when all this time, I was lead to believe that Philadelphia was an LGBT friendly city.

Also, I'm not quite clear: the man you told you were trans... you could not enter a relationship with him because you were already involved with someone whom you were otherwise not involved with at the time you met the Tae Kwan Do guy?

Quote from: tsroxy on May 01, 2016, 08:14:47 AM
Aww *hug* sad to read it derailed, a lot of people can't look past the trans part but you can't really blame them though..
It'll scare many away, accepting the fact you're trans is often hard on yourself, so some macho guy won't really be openminded about it,
even when your personality matches. Not worth to grief over, just a new experience to learn from.

I can relate because a cis straight man can be very protective about his sexuality. A transgender woman can be the most beautiful, sexist woman in the world but the fact that she was born a male will be quite enough to drive that cis straight man away because he doesn't want to be romantically and/or sexually involved with someone who was born biologically male because he doesn't want to have to worry about questioning his sexuality or wonder to himself if he's gay for liking her despite her outwardly female appearance.

Quote from: alienbodybuilder on May 01, 2016, 06:37:36 AM
I'm glad to hear you're over because before I read this I was going to say something to the effect that the remark about your body sounds like he was only interested in your body and I didn't know if that's what you wanted or not. This situation sounded creepy to me. Being a female you have to be especially careful and protect your femininity. I don't mean to condescend. You made a good decision by leaving him.

Bless you.

To be fair, I didn't leave him. He actively decided to stop talking to me and opted not to meet up with me. I just chose to stop responding back to him and move on because since he doesn't accept me, I wanted to leave him.

Also, I'm not entirely sure i follow what you were saying in what I boldfaced. What I meant in the post you responded to was that even though I'm still a pre-op trans girl, and still like other women, I'm starting to become more attracted to men as I fantasize about men being sexual with me.
They say identity theft is a crime. Well, needless to say, a crime has been committed. My identity has been stolen. No, no one knows my social security number or has my credit card. I'm walking around in the wrong body. I'm wearing a costume which I cannot remove... and the only way I can remove that costume, is through surgery
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