Feeling like i am Losing confidence using forums?

[Midnightstar]

I'm coming to realize i'm having problems with being able to have confidence to post inside forums
Reason being is because iv'e been thinking i post to much or ask to many similar questions but the big one is
feeling like i'm not showing that i do anything outside of forums basically going along with feeling like i'm repeating
things when sometimes it's really just something on my mind. I don't know why i'm doing this to myself but iv'e found myself starting to lock up but feeling at times like i need to reach out and ask questions. The one thing i don't want is to distant myself form something that can help me....on the other hand the one thing i do know is it relates to confidence i'm not sure why i'm losing it.  I sort of scare myself with my anxiety because i'm seeing myself lock myself away into a closet slowly and before i lock the door i'm trying to figure out whats going on and i don't know...
Instead of me saying what's wrong i feel like it's become me saying words...but nothing is coming out that's needed, but i'm attempting to. its good to note i don't think anyone's done anything...i just see myself closing off from something that normally is helpful.

[Laura_7]

On a forum more than only words is conveyed. Its possible to feel the emotions and intentions behind the words.
So it can be some kind of connection.
I'd say stay away from threads you feel might trigger you ...
keep asking questions, people like to be helpful ...
and try do something outside of the internet, to keep you a bit grounded.
Some kind of activity you like and which is not trans related


hugs

[Midnightstar]

On a forum more than only words is conveyed. Its possible to feel the emotions and intentions behind the words.
So it can be some kind of connection.
I'd say stay away from threads you feel might trigger you ...
keep asking questions, people like to be helpful ...
and try do something outside of the internet, to keep you a bit grounded.
Some kind of activity you like and which is not trans related


hugs

i have been doing other things the best i can at this moment

[Laura_7]

i have been doing other things the best i can at this moment

Do you feel it helps ?
Are there other things you always wanted to do ?

[Dena]

While I post help all over the site, I tend to do something that most people don't. I look for people with difficult problems and do my best to help them get around them. After that, they tend to take off running and I let others help them instead of following them through the transition. Part of the reason is because my transition is history so I don't feel the need to move with them through the process. The other reason is most of us run into that one special problem that we just don't know how to deal with. The problem tends to be related to self acceptance but it looks different in each of us. Yes I had to deal with it as well so I am not special.

In your case, I think you have a good deal of fear over the unknown and you may be a bit of a perfectionist and want to do it right. You may feel uncomfortable talking about it because words don't really carry the meaning you want them to carry so you feel uncomfortable putting down words that don't describe with you feel. As the result, you may not be getting the answer you want so the forums aren't working for you.

You may be better of not thinking about it so much. I find if I put a problem away for a while, sometime I can take a fresh look at it and see what I have been missing. Other times I might be doing something unrelated or may even wake up in the middle of the night with the answer. If an answer will not come to you, don't force it. Give your mind time to become comfortable with it and let your subconscious play with it for a while.

[Midnightstar]

Do you feel it helps ?
Are there other things you always wanted to do ?

Sometimes it depends on the day
and yes there is a lot of things iv'e always wanted to do, and is probably what i'll need to do.

[Laura_7]

Sometimes it depends on the day
and yes there is a lot of things iv'e always wanted to do, and is probably what i'll need to do.

You might make a list and do a few things ...
you might think about where fear holds you back, and if it makes sense to fight and do it regardless or listen to it and tread carefully.
But usually fears exaggerate things.

Its possible your overall anxiety level is high, also with brooding.
I'd say try to do a few things physical like taking a walk or taking a bath.

Against being depressed doing something new or something creative might help.
Read a Donald Duck comic lately ? They are available used for few money.
There should be local flea markets in your place, usually they are announced in local papers.
It migt be an idea to visit one and just look around for a few things that catch the eye.
Just a suggestion for doing something new.


*hugs*

[Midnightstar]

While I post help all over the site, I tend to do something that most people don't. I look for people with difficult problems and do my best to help them get around them. After that, they tend to take off running and I let others help them instead of following them through the transition. Part of the reason is because my transition is history so I don't feel the need to move with them through the process. The other reason is most of us run into that one special problem that we just don't know how to deal with. The problem tends to be related to self acceptance but it looks different in each of us. Yes I had to deal with it as well so I am not special.

In your case, I think you have a good deal of fear over the unknown and you may be a bit of a perfectionist and want to do it right. You may feel uncomfortable talking about it because words don't really carry the meaning you want them to carry so you feel uncomfortable putting down words that don't describe with you feel. As the result, you may not be getting the answer you want so the forums aren't working for you.

You may be better of not thinking about it so much. I find if I put a problem away for a while, sometime I can take a fresh look at it and see what I have been missing. Other times I might be doing something unrelated or may even wake up in the middle of the night with the answer. If an answer will not come to you, don't force it. Give your mind time to become comfortable with it and let your subconscious play with it for a while.

Iv'e never thought of it like that but i think you're very right i can be a perfectionist. you've gotten me thinking. Good plan i think i'll be giving that suggestion a shot

[Midnightstar]

You might make a list and do a few things ...
you might think about where fear holds you back, and if it makes sense to fight and do it regardless or listen to it and tread carefully.
But usually fears exaggerate things.

Its possible your overall anxiety level is high, also with brooding.
I'd say try to do a few things physical like taking a walk or taking a bath.

Against being depressed doing something new or something creative might help.
Read a Donald Duck comic lately ? They are available used for few money.
There should be local flea markets in your place, usually they are announced in local papers.
It migt be an idea to visit one and just look around for a few things that catch the eye.
Just a suggestion for doing something new.


*hugs*

I'll figure out something i should have gone with my mother today but couldn't
A walk sounds good i really would like to change the path i walk on up if i can get the courage to
walk outside my comfort zone.

[Laura_7]

I'll figure out something i should have gone with my mother today but couldn't
A walk sounds good i really would like to change the path i walk on up if i can get the courage to
walk outside my comfort zone.

Try to go with her next time ... maybe you can do something together tomorrow ?
Its possible she would like to do something with you, too.
So you might think about something you could do together, and maybe regularly. Maybe taking a walk, visiting a park ...


And if it frightens you you can start slowly, and make a few small changes, and then more and more ...
but it may also be interesting to explore a new path 


hugs

[Midnightstar]

Try to go with her next time ... maybe you can do something together tomorrow ?
Its possible she would like to do something with you, too.
So you might think about something you could do together, and maybe regularly. Maybe taking a walk, visiting a park ...


And if it frightens you you can start slowly, and make a few small changes, and then more and more ...
but it may also be interesting to explore a new path 


hugs

I don't get along with my mom
But i'll go