AFTER 20s TOO LATE FOR TRANSITION

[JenniferLopezgomez]

Definitely a girl can transition after age 20...yikes... of course YES.

I'm in my 50's. This is a lot more years of testosterone poisoning to overcome. Yet, I have worked as an actress "extra" (for transportation expense reimbursement only but yeah that's real money isn't it?     ) on nationwide television with millions of TV viewers in Europe as well as actress "extra" on Internet TV with over 170,000 youtube views. And my photos to millions of nationwide newspaper readers.

Now, certainly it would have been much better for me to have transitioned to JENNIFER when I was 21 years old. Likely I could have been a model. Oh, well, but still better late than never. There was no Internet then with trans info and things were less socially accepted then. So I didn't know how to deal with my dysphoria issues at that time.

One downside that later transitioners should be aware of that can be difficult to handle emotionally is intentional misgendering and bullying due primarily to physical appearance. This can come from cis (non-trans) people and from other trans girls. Bullying and intentional misgendering is more deplorable coming from other trans girls since they too are a very small minority and might have faced many of the same bullying issues earlier in their transitions. I mean, at that time I still had to use a wig (I never use a wig now) and the wig hairline was sometimes a little obvious. Anyway, I kept working at passing as even more cis beautiful and now I feel this has been accomplished. I rarely get misgendered now in face-to-face real life. But last year I almost did suicide because of so much bullying against my physical appearance from both cis (non-trans) people and some trans girls. In real life now, most people who didn't know me before I transitioned to JENNIFER just take me as a beautiful older woman.

Now, in real life face-to-face I just "go stealth" meaning I live 24 /7 as full-time, legally and medically hormonally Jennifer and I don't even tell people I am a trans girl unless absolutely necessary.

[Emileeeee]

Is it unreasonable to think that in mid to late 40s, a transition could yield passable results with HRT alone (no surgery)?

There are lots of people that transition much later than that where HRT was sufficient. I'm not one of them. I was 40 when I started HRT and within a few months went fulltime because people were calling me ma'am more often than they were calling me sir and I was still presenting male. I have no intentions of getting any surgery except the bottom one and that one's not visible, so it really has very little to do with passing unless you plan to wear bathing suits and stretch pants a lot.

[Seshatneferw]

Well. I'm 51, started DHT blockers at 43 without anything further in terms of HRT (primarily because that's the compromise I and my spouse can both live with), am 6'2", and non-binary (so trying to pass is not really a priority). A couple of years ago I figured enough people had tried to kick me out of a men's loo that it might be more prudent to start using the ladies'. Haven't had problems there.

So no, 20 isn't too old.

[Rachel]

Hi,

I am 53 and have been on hrt almost 3 years. People keep saying I am losing weight (I am not it is shifting and I am adding muscle) and look you are really showing (boobs). My face looks different too. I am having surgery in Sept to remove male makers in my face to help. I presently get mam and she sometimes.

[JenniferLopezgomez]

Well. I'm 51, started DHT blockers at 43 without anything further in terms of HRT (primarily because that's the compromise I and my spouse can both live with), am 6'2", and non-binary (so trying to pass is not really a priority). A couple of years ago I figured enough people had tried to kick me out of a men's loo that it might be more prudent to start using the ladies'. Haven't had problems there.

So no, 20 isn't too old.

Since going full-time female, I have used ONLY women's restrooms/toilets and women's fitting rooms when buying bras or skirts or blouses or whatever. I have never been asked for ID (although my USA Passport is female gender were I to be asked) and never given a second look = no issues from the female attendants in fitting rooms and no issues with any other women in the restroom/toilet or fitting room.

I would be afraid of arrest upon arrival at the toilet at the airport in Charlotte or Raleigh/Durham though currently due to that state's Neanderthal bathroom laws. 

[Ms Grace]

Transitioned at 48 with generally no problems passing in public. Age isn't the real issue, it's how much damage testosterone might do to your overall physicality in terms of bones and muscles that will generally be more the issue. And as we know those things have usually happened before you turn 20 if they're going to happen. In some cases HRT may not be "enough" but that is purely a personal choice. If you want to transition don't let fear of age hold you back or before you know it you'll be 37...47...57 and wishing you'd done it when you were the age you are now.

[Stevie]

 I passed  about half the time before I started hormones. I was living full time 6 months before I started HRT at 56.  I did not really care at that point in my life if I passed, was just doing what I had to do to stay alive.
Hard to believe looking at a still picture me that I pass all time. There is more to passing than how you look , demeanor is important as well.
If you feel you need to transition do it, this gender thing does not heal on its own it festers and poisons your life.  I convinced myself to not transition in my 20's, to say that I have regrets is an understatement.

[RUBYYY]

Thank you my girls, you dont know, how much your words and sharings have helped me and gave me hope. thank you soooo much 

[Amber42]

I just love the positivity and support that comes from this group!  Boy do I wish this existed 25 years ago.

Your answers are giving me hope.

Well. I'm 51, started DHT blockers at 43 without anything further in terms of HRT (primarily because that's the compromise I and my spouse can both live with), am 6'2", and non-binary (so trying to pass is not really a priority). A couple of years ago I figured enough people had tried to kick me out of a men's loo that it might be more prudent to start using the ladies'. Haven't had problems there.

So no, 20 isn't too old.

So you have been on DHT blockers only?  What are the changes you've experienced  on that alone?  This too is a topic of conversation in my life now.  Seems like a compromise position. 

[JenniferLopezgomez]

I passed  about half the time before I started hormones. I was living full time 6 months before I started HRT at 56.  I did not really care at that point in my life if I passed, was just doing what I had to do to stay alive.
Hard to believe looking at a still picture me that I pass all time. There is more to passing than how you look , demeanor is important as well.
If you feel you need to transition do it, this gender thing does not heal on its own it festers and poisons your life.  I convinced myself to not transition in my 20's, to say that I have regrets is an understatement.

Agreed! I estimate that demeanor is 30% to 40% of passing. And that's right. When one feels that death is preferable to staying in the wrong gender, it is time to transition.

+1 to your reputation for this post. 

[JenniferLopezgomez]

Thank you my girls, you dont know, how much your words and sharings have helped me and gave me hope. thank you soooo much 

You are very welcome and good luck. xx

[Seshatneferw]

So you have been on DHT blockers only?  What are the changes you've experienced  on that alone?  This too is a topic of conversation in my life now.  Seems like a compromise position.

Let's see...

1) General thinning of body hair. These days, I run an epilator across my legs every couple of weeks, not because I need to but more because I can. The little chest hair I used to have has disappeared pretty much completely, and I've got no new beard growth after electrolysis. But I wasn't all that hairy to start with.

2) Hair loss from my forehead has stopped, but what was lost was lost so I wear a scarf. Still, it's possible to have a hair style that doesn't scream 'middle-aged man here'.

3) Some breast growth, enough that I've had a mammogram (turned out to be nothing malign; whew). They are rather shallow and as an additional complication I've got a small bony ridge between them where the wire of a full-cup bra would go, so the best fit seems to be a 36D / 38C push-up bra. The cups are full enough to support me and not feel loose but I don't get the kind of cleavage one would expect just looking at the sizes.

4) Perhaps some general softening of facial features, although I think this is more a result of electrolysis. Getting rid of beard shadow makes a big difference, and the loss of hair roots changes the shape of the upper lip.

5) Loss of most unwanted erections and weakening of those that are actually related to sexual arousal. It's hard to say how much of the change from male towards female sexuality is a result of changes in the hormonal balance and how much of it is psychological.

[DawnOday]

Well. I'm 51, started DHT blockers at 43 without anything further in terms of HRT (primarily because that's the compromise I and my spouse can both live with), am 6'2", and non-binary (so trying to pass is not really a priority). A couple of years ago I figured enough people had tried to kick me out of a men's loo that it might be more prudent to start using the ladies'. Haven't had problems there.
Wow what it must be like living with enlightened people. Stay away from North Carolina.

So no, 20 isn't too old.

[Seshatneferw]

Wow what it must be like living with enlightened people. Stay away from North Carolina.

Yes; the last time I visited the US, I was still passing as male. I guess you can understand hoiw happy I was when the Finnish gender equality act was amended, at the start of last year, to explicitly give trans and intersex people essentially the same protection that cis people have. Of course, that isn't the whole truth; there is still quite a bit of anti-trans sentiment, and right-wing populists are much more prominent in politics than they were a few years ago.

[Amber42]

Let's see...

1) General thinning of body hair. These days, I run an epilator across my legs every couple of weeks, not because I need to but more because I can. The little chest hair I used to have has disappeared pretty much completely, and I've got no new beard growth after electrolysis. But I wasn't all that hairy to start with.

2) Hair loss from my forehead has stopped, but what was lost was lost so I wear a scarf. Still, it's possible to have a hair style that doesn't scream 'middle-aged man here'.

3) Some breast growth, enough that I've had a mammogram (turned out to be nothing malign; whew). They are rather shallow and as an additional complication I've got a small bony ridge between them where the wire of a full-cup bra would go, so the best fit seems to be a 36D / 38C push-up bra. The cups are full enough to support me and not feel loose but I don't get the kind of cleavage one would expect just looking at the sizes.

4) Perhaps some general softening of facial features, although I think this is more a result of electrolysis. Getting rid of beard shadow makes a big difference, and the loss of hair roots changes the shape of the upper lip.

5) Loss of most unwanted erections and weakening of those that are actually related to sexual arousal. It's hard to say how much of the change from male towards female sexuality is a result of changes in the hormonal balance and how much of it is psychological.

Thank you for the info :-)

I was talking to my doctor about Finasteride (propecia) for hair loss.  I'm not sure about what the dosage I would need to see any of the changes you experienced.  He did not prescribe anything because he wanted to start discussions about the GD I'm going through.  I'm going to see him in 2.5 weeks again.



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[Seshatneferw]

I'm not sure about what the dosage I would need to see any of the changes you experienced.

That varies a lot. I started with finasteride at a regular dosage for hair loss, and my nipples started aching soon afterwards. I eventually switched to dutasteride, mostly because its half-life is much longer, so one day of forgetting to take it won't make a difference. But the effects are very individual.

[MichaelaLJ1972]

One of the best things I ever did was start watching YouTube videos and reading these forums. I was also under the impression that it was just too late for me to start transitioning. I started 6 months ago on my 43rd birthday. Right now I am not living as female and I do my best to hide my 36A's and all the other body changes that have taken place. I usually wear short hair and more masculine clothing. I'm just not in a situation where I can go full time and most of the time I'm fine with it. Mostly people tell me that my skin is amazing and that I look much younger than my 43 years. So, that's a huge benefit I have received from HRT. Of course, I probably would have done better if I had started in my teens or early 20's when I had less muscle development and more hair... but I know I wasn't ready back in the day. Hopefully HRT will soften the muscles. Not sure it will help with the hair, but wigs are fine with me.

The biggest thing you need is confidence. I know I'm still working on my confidence. It's never too late to become you.

[Amber42]

Michaela, I agree, there is so much info nowadays.  So nice to hear your happy and doing well with your progress.  We are essentially the same age.  With my situation, can't do the full time thing right now. 

Are you on full HRT, with Tblocker?


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[Amber42]

That varies a lot. I started with finasteride at a regular dosage for hair loss, and my nipples started aching soon afterwards. I eventually switched to dutasteride, mostly because its half-life is much longer, so one day of forgetting to take it won't make a difference. But the effects are very individual.

Thanks for info.  I'm seeing my doctor next week.  I might try Finasteride first, but will discuss the dutrasteride option.



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[MichaelaLJ1972]

Since we can't really say dosages... I'd say I'm on a low dose of both estradiol and spironolactone compared to what I know of some other transwomen. That will hopefully change to full dose after the 14th when I see my doctor again. I'm also going to talk about adding finasteride or dutasteride to my regimen to see if it helps with the thinning I have. I was trying to be patient enough to see if just estrogen and spiro would help but it really doesn't seem to be doing too well on my head.

I just think it's awful how so many will tell you that transitioning after a certain age is worthless. There are younger transwomen who have had a more difficult time than some of the more mature transwomen I know.

Michaela, I agree, there is so much info nowadays.  So nice to hear your happy and doing well with your progress.  We are essentially the same age.  With my situation, can't do the full time thing right now. 

Are you on full HRT, with Tblocker?


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