AFTER 20s TOO LATE FOR TRANSITION

[RUBYYY]

Hey everyone
Many time I see statements ect IF YOU WANT TO PASS IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO TRANSITION BEFORE THE AGE OF 20
well im at the start have check outs for HRT
and am in my middle 20s, i know bones etc HRT will not change but statements from people (OH ITS TO LATE ASTER 20 YOU people never pass and looks like crossdressers) such words make me very depressed
just wanted to share my feelings and fears 

[suzifrommd]

I went full time at 51. I pass in public all the time.

Of course if I had an intimate partner, I'd have to take off my wig and he'd see I was trans, but I'd want him to have known that long before we get to that point.

[Laura_7]

Hey everyone
Many time I see statements ect IF YOU WANT TO PASS IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO TRANSITION BEFORE THE AGE OF 20
well im at the start have check outs for HRT
and am in my middle 20s, i know bones etc HRT will not change but statements from people (OH ITS TO LATE ASTER 20 YOU people never pass and looks like crossdressers) such words make me very depressed
just wanted to share my feelings and fears 

Lol don't look at those statements.

Its generalization and not true for all people.
Many trans people were kind of made for this. Many FTM people have high testosterone, etc.

I'd say try to use what you have ... and its simply difficult to say what results hrt will have. But many people had changes.

You may look up pictures of Isley Reust, she for example has a hairstyle to cover brows and forehead.

There is a thread where you can ask for other peoples opinions and hints for improvement:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,193485.msg1857126/topicseen.html#msg1857126


hugs

[Kayla]

I started HRT a few months before turning 23, and I turned out fine. I'm not going to lie, starting earlier does tend to lead to better passing. However, in the grand scheme of things, and relative to a lot of people, 25 is still very, very young.

[AnamethatstartswithE]

I hope not I haven't started yet and I'm 33. Try checking out this youtube channel it helped me a lot, she started when she was 31 (or 32 I don't remember)

https://www.youtube.com/user/Charlie247Girl

[Emileeeee]

You're talking to the wrong people. I went fulltime at 40 and pass just fine even without makeup, although my pass rate rises with it. I don't have the chest I wish I did, but they are still noticeable enough for passing with the right clothing on.

[RUBYYY]

Thank you
Yes im 27, and all the time it goes through my mind is it too late, its from the optical and visual point of view or as many say PASS
Its very frustirating, i have bright shoulders and im 5.8 tall
Today i became more depressed again about that when i read the suicide letter from teenager teen trans girl Leelah Alcorn, 17 where she wrote:  I'm never going to transition successfully, When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. The longer you wait, the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th birthday, when I didn't receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep.

It broke my heart and also opened the fears that i also have with my middle twenties, she has them allready by 17y

[Emileeeee]

I can't imagine what's it's like for a kid these days. I had no idea I wasn't the only one or even that there were options available until after I moved out of my parents house. To know it was possible and be blocked on it, I'm not sure how I would handle that.

I have 3 parents and 2 of them are very strict gender nazis. For me personally, I think the easiest time to transition was right when I did it. Sure I had to tell half the state because of all my creditors, but I was mentally prepared to not care what other people thought and I never had that mental fortitude until very recently.

[islandgirl]

Being young may probably would have helped with some of the physical changes. I may still have my hair, but the best time to transition is when you are ready to do so. I was 60 when I came out to my partner of over 40 years, and for me that was the right time. Social, family and work conditions were not right for me to come out any earlier. Be it for lack of courage or what ever, I didn't. Do I dream about what it would have been like to have lived most of my life  as the woman I am, you bet. I realize that it doesn't matter. My life made be the woman I am today and that is totally OK. I am out full time and with the help of a wig and very light make up, I pass almost 99%! I even pass on the phone! I look forward to my life ahead knowing that those close to me are totally supportive of me!  I don't know if anyone can alway be totally prepared for what we face, and this is different for everyone, but you need to believe in who you are! There will be many who don't and you will need to decide how and when to deal with them and ultimately whether they matter to you.

[Dena]

I knew when I was 13 but I couldn't start hormones until I was 26 years old. If you look through this site you will find many who started much latter than I did. Be careful about what you read on many of the other web sites because they contain many untrue and sometimes dangerous information.

The moderator staff on this site is very active and we attempt to provide the most accurate information possible. Should we encounter anything that is questionable, a report is generated. If the first person viewing the report is sure of the issue, correction or rejection of the report will take place then. If there is a question about the report, several moderators and administrators many comment on the report before an action is taken. Some of the other sites have brutal names for this site but that is the price we pay in order to maintain a safe and truthful medical information site.

Yes, the ideal transition would be to start puberty blockers at the start of puberty and then start HRT around 18 but very few on this site have had that luxury. I suggest you look at the before and after thread to see what's possible and you may discover you are at the ideal age to start your transition.

[RUBYYY]

Thank you all my girls it help alot sharing your opinion

[stephaniec]

I think it's just a matter of what you need.

[Asche]

IF YOU WANT TO PASS IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO TRANSITION BEFORE THE AGE OF 20

I sure hope that's not true.  I started HRT at age 62.

I don't expect to be able to go stealth, but then, to go stealth, I'd have to move to somewhere where nobody knows me and make sure nobody knows anyone from any of the other places I've lived.

Nope.  Not gonna happen.  I'm not even planning to change jobs.  So everyone who knows me is going to know I used to be male.

I only have to "pass" to casual strangers.  And a lot of people have told me that's quite doable.  If anything, it's easier at my age, since when you get old and shrivelled like me, the men start looking like the ladies and vice versa.  Nature's own non-binary!

Passing's overrated, anyway.  Bad girls have more fun, and what's badder than being a "trannie"?

Another advantage to super-late transitioning: I don't give an <expletive deleted> what people think any more.  They could kill me, but so what?  Life is going to kill me in, what?, 20 years, if not sooner.  As for anything less, they've done their worst and I'm still here (well, most of me, anyway.  Ya know, I could have sworn I used to have two hands at one time. )


Disclaimer: I seem to be in one of my "up" moods.  Who knows what I'll say tomorrow?

[Devlyn]

Hey everyone
Many time I see statements ect IF YOU WANT TO PASS IN LIFE YOU HAVE TO TRANSITION BEFORE THE AGE OF 20
well im at the start have check outs for HRT
and am in my middle 20s, i know bones etc HRT will not change but statements from people (OH ITS TO LATE ASTER 20 YOU people never pass and looks like crossdressers) such words make me very depressed
just wanted to share my feelings and fears 

If you're lucky, you'll look like a crossdresser. 

Signed, a beautiful crossdresser. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Devlyn]

I sure hope that's not true.  I started HRT at age 62.

I don't expect to be able to go stealth, but then, to go stealth, I'd have to move to somewhere where nobody knows me and make sure nobody knows anyone from any of the other places I've lived.

Nope.  Not gonna happen.  I'm not even planning to change jobs.  So everyone who knows me is going to know I used to be male.

I only have to "pass" to casual strangers.  And a lot of people have told me that's quite doable.  If anything, it's easier at my age, since when you get old and shrivelled like me, the men start looking like the ladies and vice versa.  Nature's own non-binary!

Passing's overrated, anyway. Bad girls have more fun, and what's badder than being a "trannie"?

Another advantage to super-late transitioning: I don't give an <expletive deleted> what people think any more.  They could kill me, but so what?  Life is going to kill me in, what?, 20 years, if not sooner.  As for anything less, they've done their worst and I'm still here (well, most of me, anyway.  Ya know, I could have sworn I used to have two hands at one time. )


Disclaimer: I seem to be in one of my "up" moods.  Who knows what I'll say tomorrow?

Nothing is! I fly my freak flag high. 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Jenna Marie]

I don't know who these cruel people are, but they're wrong. Go look in the "Before and after" thread for lots of examples of lovely women who started later. Starting younger *may* help, but so much of that is up to individual variation (some cis men are more masculinized at 18 than others are at 30, for example) that there's no way to know whether it would have been different for a specific person.

I started HRT at 32 (and 5'8"). Within three months, I was read as female most of the time except by people who knew me before; by six months, I could not convince anyone that the male ID I still had was actually mine, and that includes when I was dressed as a guy and had no makeup on. I won't say I ended up pretty - on my best days, I think I look vaguely like a potato - but I definitely am not mistaken for a man.

[Carrie Liz]

Bullpoop. I started hormones at age 27, I haven't had any body surgery or face surgery, and not only do I pass as female to the point that I'm stealth at work, I'm unable to pass as male anymore, even if I tried. (I did try a couple of months ago during the primary elections, because I forgot to change the name on my voter registration. And I was still called "she" despite showing up in a baggy t-shirt, chest bound, trying to speak in a "male" voice, and using my old male name when they asked me what my name was.)

And I was definitely NOT a twinky feminine-appearing person pre-transition. I didn't transition or start hormones for my entire adult life, from age 14 to age 27, because I believed that I was just too big and too masculine to ever pass, under that exact same wrong assumption that I'd never be rid of my big neck, big shoulders, "I'd just look like a man in a dress," etc. Here I am now, post-transition, stealth, and unable to pass as male even if I tried.

Also, most of my closest trans friends didn't transition until their late 20s / early 30s, and my reaction to pretty much all of them when I first met them was my mind being blown by how feminine they all were.

There's no such thing as "too late." A better question to ask would be what are you missing out on in life by staying in a form that makes you hate yourself?

[stephaniec]

I started ar 75 give or take a few years and I think I look all right

[Amber42]

I haven't transitioned and really trying to figure out if that's the route I would want to go.  I can't right now anyways. Life is really complicated.   

I'm 44.  5'11 ish.  Large hands and in my opinion, large-ish head. 

Is the concept of it being too late because the HRT won't have as much of an effect?  I thought it has a lot to do with genetics. 

Is it unreasonable to think that in mid to late 40s, a transition could yield passable results with HRT alone (no surgery)?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Rafaela]

Is it unreasonable to think that in mid to late 40s, a transition could yield passable results with HRT alone (no surgery)?

Nope.