How therapy works?

[lincoln_2u]

Ok! I consider myself as trans woman, I'm 23 and for some reason I feel that my time is finally ticking...
Suddenly, I feel the rush to begin my transition. The reason I didn't do it yet is because I have a huge christian family, and I have no job yet because I'm occupied full time in university (of course it's my choice.. I could have a job and university but... oh well). I was planing to begin my transition after graduated, but I feel like screaming to begin it now!

First things first... I decided to go to therapy. I don't know if I need a therapist's aprove to begin HRT. And I don't know why to go there at all... I mean, I want to change so bad, that's like ridiculous to go to someone who will try to make me see what I am or what to do...
I never was in therapy in my life, so I would be glad if someone could help me explaining the reason of therapy.

[Dena]

The transition is hard and what you explore in therapy can make the difference between a successful transition and a failure. We often have emotional issues from living with being transgender. We may not have considered all the issues we may face. We may not have considered all the cost of the one way trip to the new gender. And most important, should we desire surgery, this will help build the foundation for the letters the surgeon may require.

As you explore this board you will find a number of people who started their transition and for some reason discontinued it. This happens because they were not prepared for what they would face and backed off. Therapy can help you avoid many of the pitfalls of the transition and is well worth the trouble.

[Megan.]

Hi lincoln_2u, I've been seeing my therapist on a weekly/fornightly basis for 1.5 years now, and I feel just about ready in myself to try HRT. Everyone is different in their needs, but with my therapist I have resolved my thoughts about who and what I am, the impact any transition might have on myself, friends and family, how making such a change can integrate with my life, and how life might be both during and after. You may only need a few sessions just to confirm what you already feel, but a good therapist might ask you some questions that would help you understand yourself better. They are a great tool, many members here use them.

[LizK]

I have been in therapy for about a year and this went a long way to making the compulsory visits to the psych go easier to get my letter. The thing I liked the most about it is I could voice those deep dark inner doubts, I was also able to get things into a more realistic terms...learned how to see myself differently. Learned how to accept myself for who I was and what that meant.

A therapist can be a voice of reason when you most need it and put some of the harder stuff in perspective.

I found it invaluable,

Liz K

[JoanneB]

As Dena said therapy can make the difference between success and failure. Being trans usually comes with a TON of baggage which you already alluded to (I have a huge christian family....) I suspect shame and guilt is a factor driving you already. Plus a gender therapist helps with the "reality checks", getting you to think about things you'd rather not and ask you the questions you rather not ask yourself or didn't even think to ask yourself.

Depending where you live there may be a gender clinic nearby. They tend towards the "Informed Consent" model for HRT with one stop shopping. Usually finding an Endo or MD willing to treat a trans patient is difficult in many areas or takes a ton of leg work if you aren't involved with any TG support groups to get the benefit of their experiences

[Rachel]

I got to the point when my ability to cope was overwhelmed. When that happened everything that I was coping with, even from a very young age, came at me. It took 5 months for me go get back to being able to cope and be allowed to schedule for hormones. Mazzoni Center and my first therapist saved my life.

Going forward with transition was difficult. There were a lot of things I put in front of my happiness. I needed to realize I had reached a point where I had to transition and I needed to accept myself and trust others (big issue).

As I approach surgeries later this year I am doing what I had wanted since being very young yet had no way of becoming myself. I needed a lot of help to rebuild and explore what would be best for my self.

[AnonyMs]

I've been to a few therapists and a psych and I've found it very helpful. Personally I'd not go for the purposes of getting a letter if informed consent were available, but I'd still see a therapist. I don't anymore since I feel no need.

I intensely dislike the tying of the two together as I'd absolutely lie about everything if I had to suffer through that, and I needed the honest discussion that therapy brings.

A therapist helps you understand yourself. They don't tell you if you're trans or not, once you understand yourself you tell them. As others have said they can help you deal with the other issues that being trans causes. If you don't need any of that, don't bother (unless you need a letter).

You'll find heaps of post after people go to their first therapy session saying how wonderful it was, and it is.

I'd just watch out for bad therapists. There seems to be quite a few around, so if somehow it does go badly its not you, its them. There's some good posts here about what it look out for.

[lincoln_2u]

Yeah, I know how things are hard, maybe the penny hasn't dropped for me yet... But I know it's not all flowers. Maybe I'm anxious to finally do the step forward? I don't know.

What people mean saying good or bad therapists?
I have doubts that are killing me.. like, let's suppose I go to a therapist and from all the talks from many sessions, I hear something like: "I don't think you are trans... etc." Then, I don't accept it and go to another one and from another long talks and sessions I hear something like "I think you are trans..."
Yeah! This is not something someone will say to me as a universal truth. But... I go to therapy to get help? Or to be comprehended?

[Megan.]

No therapist worth their salt would ever say either of those things, their skill is getting you to say it, accept it, and relate to it.
A good one will help you to answer your own questions, and might throw in questions to help you explore things either in more depth or from another perspective.

[AnonyMs]

Red flags
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=162266.0

[lincoln_2u]

Thanks everybody for the help! I'm looking forward to find therapy real soon!