Hello...
Still pretty new here and still in the process of figuring everything out. This forum has helped greatly realizing my confusion is just so much more and reading a lot of posts also showed that what I thought is more of an oddity is just part of the process.
I have been crossdressing pretty much since I was 7 years old (mom's bras and pantyhose) and it did happen in waves. The next wave happened in teenage years with a stronger interest in lingerie. In college times I already had a small collection and loved wearing it. Even presented that way to my then girlfriend (she is now my wife for the past 11 years). and we incorporated this into our play.
In recent years I pretty much went through a "slutty" phase which resulted in a pretty nice collection of boots and more hot clothing.
More recently, I did notice a pretty strong transformation in what I have been looking for / buying and I am at a point of accumulating a day-to-day wardrobe, things which could be worn to the office (super cute shoes and skirts).
The transformation of taste made me think and research a lot more - paired with an odd episode of postpartum depression, I finally realized that I feel much better presenting a female. Even small things help me get through the day - knowing to have nicely painted toes made me happy all last week.
I finally had to admit to myself that I am somewhere on the transgender spectrum.
My wife has always tolerated (sometimes enjoyed) my affinity for girls clothes, commented on outfits, given advice and on occasion we traded things. I did break the news to her that there is more to it and overall it did go well. Not sure she would be up for me presenting in public and she mentioned it may take a little "get used to" at home. She had already been wondering since my "girl" episodes increased. She was a bit worried that I would also change my sexual preference - no intentions here. She also admitted that she has been jealous since I could rock the little black dress pretty well...
With all of the backstory done, I still have a lot to figure out. How far would I want to take it? No idea yet. I know right now I feel better in "girl mode". I kind of hate my "junk" (after reading about the penis transplant a few weeks ago, I thought "Awesome - where can I donate?"). My direction will also depend on further talks with my wife. She is very understanding but she is also very worried about the current climate.
Admitting what is going on and opening up to my wife has put me in a much better spot in life. I am also getting bolder - started shopping in normal stores, bought some makeup, even put on lipstick to go to the office since I found one which matches my natural lip color.
Where does the journey take me? Not sure. But one step at a time.
Thank you for this forum and all the good advice.
Sarah
