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I'm just going to say it

Started by Riley the tiger, June 03, 2016, 02:30:25 PM

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Riley the tiger

I'll admit there are several things I'm happy about. several things that I've done that make me feel worthly. one in particular is several years ago. I was going to school in new York. every morning, I always find this homeless guy sitting by the entrance to the subway I take. whenever I had food, I would always five it to him. his smile really made my day. than suddenly one day he wasn't there. I figured he moved or he was taken to a shelter. so on the last day of school, I sat in his spot, I closed my eyes and just imagined myself in his spot. the life he must of lived, people he must of seen and talked with, even the pain he must of felt. it was the first time I genuinely cried but still they weren't my tears. there are many things in my life I regret and things I'm still paying the price for but at least I was able to genuinely help another less fortunate than I. I felt that person pain and even there joys. I'm not genuinely a nice person but I do help whenever I can and at least help them attain happiness even if its for a moment because that's as close to happiness that I'll ever get. there are more times that I am happy than there are sad times. I just deny those times because those times become rarer and are ever fleeting.

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"Order can only be found through chaos. Darkness must take hold for light to be born"
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stephaniec

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Riley the tiger

that's not sweet at all. I only do it to feel something and its better than nothing. I'm a "psychic vampire" in retrospect. the only why to feel happy is to make others genuinely happy than I can just drain that happiness and make it mine. screwed up I know but I'm sure you met others like me. I'm perfectly fine as long as I have energy around me to absorb.

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"Order can only be found through chaos. Darkness must take hold for light to be born"
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Ms Grace

Well you gave them food, that was nicer than the majority of people who would have just ignored them, or the few who might have verbally abused or spat on them. And so what if you are doing it to feel good about yourself, plenty of people do "generous" things for that exact reason. When we help other people we also help ourselves.
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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Riley the tiger

not what I mean at all but I guess. helping or not helping makes no difference to me. as long as I achieve my objective thats all that matters to me.

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"Order can only be found through chaos. Darkness must take hold for light to be born"
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Jacqueline

Psychic vampire or not, that is how an altruistic act works.

Quotehis smile really made my day

Quotethe only why to feel happy is to make others genuinely happy than I can just drain that happiness and make it mine.

You do something that helps someone else(it does not benefit you, you gain nothing initially). Seeing the happiness, joy, gratefulness (take your pick) lends some of it back to you. Some call it kharma, some call it paying it forward, you call it vampirism. However Machiavellian you describe it, I call it altruism. That can feel good.

Continue to find ways to make people happy so you suck it from them. I think you will find even when you do, they still have some left.

Warmly,

Joanna
1st Therapy: February 2015
First Endo visit & HRT StartJanuary 29, 2016
Jacqueline from Joanna July 18, 2017
Full Time June 1, 2018





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Riley the tiger

altruistic act? only when I decide to take mercy and not leave the person looking like a walking zombie. my dislike for other human beings is never changing however I do have moments of weakness in which I show mercy towards others due to my empathic tendencies. my point is there are sometimes I do go things however that doesn't excuse anything nor makes me want to be a good person. I'm saying there are certain things in life I do enjoy however that list is so short tjat its almost non existing. this world is still as ugly as it will ever be. my survival comes first before anyone else's

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"Order can only be found through chaos. Darkness must take hold for light to be born"
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autumn08

Everything everyone does is for their own pleasure. Being moral and having a purpose outside of ourselves, is to attempt to increase social utility, which makes us feel good, because of its infinite potential for complexity, our innate desire for community, and the exterior benefits of being part of a community.
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stephaniec

imagine a world with no hate and only love is easy if we try.
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Riley the tiger

a world of only peace is a world without free will. humans are the worse type of devils to exist. love is only a masked designed to cover up our malice for one another. we find reason to hate one another and the human's greatest desire it to become god and destroy and build in our own image. humans are never satisfied with what they are given so they take and take till there's nothing left. this is in fact the truth of our existence. sure there are some people who strive to be good but they to will eventually become corrupted and fall. you can not resist the temptation to hurt and destroy when given the opportunity and even less when it is forced upon you. I don't have a god or messiah complex but humans can't be trust to take care of themselves without someone else controlling their actions because we are way to immature and do not understand nor can grasp the truth of things nor can we be trust to take care and use what we are given properly and fully. we build things smarter than ourselves, faster and stronger than ourselves. we can not pull our own weight and become lazy when something else comes along to do it. so in truth, our actions are means to satisfy ourselves and only ourselves, to feel good about ourselves and the expense of someone else. in this world, to gain something, something else must be sacrificed of equal value. you become happy, someone else suffers. there is to much proof otherwise that supports this very theory and there has yet to be proof that debunks this. humans are bad people by nature and that's all their is to it. no matter what you do, as long as your human, you'll continue to do bad and selfish actions whether consciously or unconsciously. my draining people of energy just to recharge myself at expensive of someone else is an example. people don't change because their personalities don't change

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"Order can only be found through chaos. Darkness must take hold for light to be born"
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Riley the tiger

lemme back track. my point is I don't want to be apart of this, I don't want to live in a world where nothing is going to change. I hate all this hate in the world. I wish that everyone would just mind there own and get over whatever is happening and just accept. you don't have to like each other but humans are only going to kill each other off over the smallest of things. love can't save us because we are to warped to see anything. I just want to be left alone but as long as I'm alive, I'll never get the freedom I so desperately want. at least in death I can just be left alone in my own thoughts because desrg itself is a void

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"Order can only be found through chaos. Darkness must take hold for light to be born"
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Devlyn

Quote from: Riley the tiger on June 06, 2016, 04:41:46 PM
a world of only peace is a world without free will. humans are the worse type of Devyls to exist. love is only a masked designed to cover up our malice for one another. we find reason to hate one another and the human's greatest desire it to become god and destroy and build in our own image. humans are never satisfied with what they are given so they take and take till there's nothing left. this is in fact the truth of our existence. sure there are some people who strive to be good but they to will eventually become corrupted and fall. you can not resist the temptation to hurt and destroy when given the opportunity and even less when it is forced upon you. I don't have a god or messiah complex but humans can't be trust to take care of themselves without someone else controlling their actions because we are way to immature and do not understand nor can grasp the truth of things nor can we be trust to take care and use what we are given properly and fully. we build things smarter than ourselves, faster and stronger than ourselves. we can not pull our own weight and become lazy when something else comes along to do it. so in truth, our actions are means to satisfy ourselves and only ourselves, to feel good about ourselves and the expense of someone else. in this world, to gain something, something else must be sacrificed of equal value. you become happy, someone else suffers. there is to much proof otherwise that supports this very theory and there has yet to be proof that debunks this. humans are bad people by nature and that's all their is to it. no matter what you do, as long as your human, you'll continue to do bad and selfish actions whether consciously or unconsciously. my draining people of energy just to recharge myself at expensive of someone else is an example. people don't change because their personalities don't change

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Fixed that for ya!  >:-)

Hugs, Devlyn
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Riley the tiger

OK devlyn, that made me laugh my gut is hurting lol

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"Order can only be found through chaos. Darkness must take hold for light to be born"
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stephaniec

I think your a little too hard on humanity. Given we started out  as amoebas we've made quite a lot of progress even with all our flaws.
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Laura_Squirrel

Quote from: stephaniec on June 06, 2016, 05:50:39 PM
I think your a little too hard on humanity. Given we started out  as amoebas we've made quite a lot of progress even with all our flaws.

I disagree with that.

Humanity, for all of its collective potential, sucks for the most part. Sure, on an individual basis, there are plenty of people that do good things and are good people. But, there are far too many scumbags, idiots, control freaks, etc.
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Deborah



Imagine
By John Lennon

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace, you

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world, you

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Love is not obedience, conformity, or submission. It is a counterfeit love that is contingent upon authority, punishment, or reward. True love is respect and admiration, compassion and kindness, freely given by a healthy, unafraid human being....  - Dan Barker

U.S. Army Retired
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Riley the tiger

starting out as amoedas doesn't excuse the fact humans are bad by nature and won't change unless they are forced to. humanity has not learned to grow up and deal with issues without violence, manipulation, and control. humans do not follow the laws and principles set by people for people. if we can learn to settle disputes without gunfire than I'll say humans gave grown  infantry to toddlerhood so let's just start there, but your x3 more likely to find the loch ness monster than that happening.

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"Order can only be found through chaos. Darkness must take hold for light to be born"
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stephaniec

well. not to get too extreme, if technology advanced to the point like in the original :" the day the earth stood still " and we create a race of robots to ac as policemen. such as the lovable Gort and any one stepping out of line becomes non existent we could have peace.
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Riley the tiger

well I'm not going to get into anymore. my point is not to bring people to my side but to make them realize there is another side, a side that can't be overlooked. being positive is good but to much of it makes you arrogant and blissfully ignorant to the truth and pain. no one can ever understand each other because that's not an active program in the human function. to take and destroy, to never give or build, that is the true nature of the beast. you can say no but there is just to much proof to debunk it. individually we are different but as a union, we are terrifyingly destructive because the evil drowns the good. the light can be destroyed but the darkness will always remain for it was darkness that existed first within the shadows of this empty universe. light only came into existence hundreds of thousands of years later when the sun began to form. life is a battlefield, you drop your guard and you will perish. I don't want to fight anymore. humanity has tainted this world and now we are searching for a new one because we have nearly destroyed this one. humans are nothing but destroyers and I don't want to be apart of it however as long as I still breathe, I'm involved one way or another.

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"Order can only be found through chaos. Darkness must take hold for light to be born"
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autumn08

Quote from: Riley the tiger on June 06, 2016, 04:41:46 PM
in this world, to gain something, something else must be sacrificed of equal value. you become happy, someone else suffers.

For now, let's just focus on the above quote.

Let's say Mary has a lot of apples, but no oranges and John has a lot of oranges, but no apples, so they perform a trade. Both Mary and John are pleased by the trade. Therefore, since the marginal benefit of a good decreases with each additional unit, isn't something of lesser value being sacrificed by both Mary and John, for something of greater value and isn't their pursuit of happiness actually increasing the aggregate level of happiness?
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