In love with my best friend?

[NS_Girl]

Hi, I'm new to this forum and I'm not sure that this is the right place for this, but the closest I could find other than this was the one for significant others, which I don't think is quite appropriate either. So here goes:

My best friend is a male to female transgender.  I'm a straight female, or so I thought. Since I found out about it, I've always referred to her as she, even when I'm not talking to her, but just thinking about her. She hasn't started to undergo change yet, and I recently realized that I was getting feelings for her. For example, she was hospitalized, and I made sure to go see her every day, because I was worried about her. During this time, I began to fall for her, but, me being who I am, was afraid to say anything at all, because I didn't want to mess up our friendship by telling her that I felt that way about her.

After she got out of the hospital, I stayed with her for the night, because I didn't want her to have to stay alone. We ended up sleeping in the same bed, and she wrapped her arms around me and cuddled with me, and I cuddled with her back, because it was nice. Then, as we were snuggled up there, so closely together that our lips were pretty much touching, she leaned in and kissed me. At first, it was like she was testing things, and when I didn't pull away, she kissed me more passionately, and I kissed her back. Since then she's been really flirty with me, and a few days ago she admitted that she had a crush on me.

My problem/concern is that I'm pretty sure I'm in love with her--she's literally all I think about, well, all the time, and even though we see each other pretty much every day, I miss her when she's not around. However, I've always identified myself as straight. I know she wants to go through the transition, and I'll support her with that, but I'm just confused with myself. I've seen her as female for a long time now, but I thought I was straight. Does that mean my feelings will change once she goes through it, or will they stay there same?

[Dena]

Welcome to Susan's Place. The problem with the transition is often everything is up in the air and nobody is sure what it's going to look like in the end. In your case, there are 4 possibilities, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual and asexual. At the moment I think we can rule out asexual. The remaining 3 you will have to consider as time goes on because this might still be a friendship but it could develop into more. I suspect when the time comes, you will be able to make your mind up. For now, relax and don't worry about it.

We issue to all new members the following links so you will best be able to use the web site.

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

[Midnightstar]

Hi, I'm new to this forum and I'm not sure that this is the right place for this, but the closest I could find other than this was the one for significant others, which I don't think is quite appropriate either. So here goes:

My best friend is a male to female transgender.  I'm a straight female, or so I thought. Since I found out about it, I've always referred to her as she, even when I'm not talking to her, but just thinking about her. She hasn't started to undergo change yet, and I recently realized that I was getting feelings for her. For example, she was hospitalized, and I made sure to go see her every day, because I was worried about her. During this time, I began to fall for her, but, me being who I am, was afraid to say anything at all, because I didn't want to mess up our friendship by telling her that I felt that way about her.

After she got out of the hospital, I stayed with her for the night, because I didn't want her to have to stay alone. We ended up sleeping in the same bed, and she wrapped her arms around me and cuddled with me, and I cuddled with her back, because it was nice. Then, as we were snuggled up there, so closely together that our lips were pretty much touching, she leaned in and kissed me. At first, it was like she was testing things, and when I didn't pull away, she kissed me more passionately, and I kissed her back. Since then she's been really flirty with me, and a few days ago she admitted that she had a crush on me.

My problem/concern is that I'm pretty sure I'm in love with her--she's literally all I think about, well, all the time, and even though we see each other pretty much every day, I miss her when she's not around. However, I've always identified myself as straight. I know she wants to go through the transition, and I'll support her with that, but I'm just confused with myself. I've seen her as female for a long time now, but I thought I was straight. Does that mean my feelings will change once she goes through it, or will they stay there same?

I've fallen in love with my best friend before
We talked about it openly but decided the risk of it creating a hole in our friendship was to great. I know the feeling though, Something I don't say I've only ever fallen in love twice in my life and I fell hard. Sounds like love to me alright. Try speaking with her about this and work it out together, you never know love is love. I don't l know your sexuality and maybe it isn't love I could be very wrong. But I know I learned in my life that the day I fell in love with my best friend  was scary but talking it over helped and we came up with what worked  best for the both of us together. So mayve have a dicussuon about your feelings and the possibility with how you're feeling about it. Best friends tend to be good  at listening

[sparrow]

There's an important distinction to make for yourself.  Is the "straight" label descriptive, or prescriptive?  That is, do you call yourself straight because you've only been interested in men, or are you only interested in men because you call yourself straight?

It sounds to me like you like the gal, and that she likes you.  So... what's the worry?  My wife identified as straight, but has come to appreciate the feminine features of my body as it's been changing.  If you're open to it, and you're in love with the person, you might find yourself in the same position.

Dena's list of sexualities is fairly short.  Some people describe themselves as straight, but have one or two exceptions -- like, I've heard some guys say that they'd do George Clooney.  I describe myself as "pansexual" because a person's body shape (including primary and secondary sex characteristics) just don't play much of a role in my attraction.  My wife might be described as demisexual; she's rarely physically attracted to people, and only then when she's already emotionally attached to them.

But... labels are only so useful.  Live your life, and only apply a label to the person you were yesterday.

[Marienz]

Hi, I'm new to this forum and I'm not sure that this is the right place for this, but the closest I could find other than this was the one for significant others, which I don't think is quite appropriate either. So here goes:

My best friend is a male to female transgender.  I'm a straight female, or so I thought. Since I found out about it, I've always referred to her as she, even when I'm not talking to her, but just thinking about her. She hasn't started to undergo change yet, and I recently realized that I was getting feelings for her. For example, she was hospitalized, and I made sure to go see her every day, because I was worried about her. During this time, I began to fall for her, but, me being who I am, was afraid to say anything at all, because I didn't want to mess up our friendship by telling her that I felt that way about her.

After she got out of the hospital, I stayed with her for the night, because I didn't want her to have to stay alone. We ended up sleeping in the same bed, and she wrapped her arms around me and cuddled with me, and I cuddled with her back, because it was nice. Then, as we were snuggled up there, so closely together that our lips were pretty much touching, she leaned in and kissed me. At first, it was like she was testing things, and when I didn't pull away, she kissed me more passionately, and I kissed her back. Since then she's been really flirty with me, and a few days ago she admitted that she had a crush on me.

My problem/concern is that I'm pretty sure I'm in love with her--she's literally all I think about, well, all the time, and even though we see each other pretty much every day, I miss her when she's not around. However, I've always identified myself as straight. I know she wants to go through the transition, and I'll support her with that, but I'm just confused with myself. I've seen her as female for a long time now, but I thought I was straight. Does that mean my feelings will change once she goes through it, or will they stay there same?

I don't have anything of much use to add to your thread... But sometimes circumstances in life make our life's take a turn and we question what we always thought of ourselves:)
Do what feels right!:)
I have always thought I was straight as well.. Seeing my best friend go from M2F is making me question this too! The best of luck to you:)
Marie


Significant other
Heterosexual woman