Cindy's Cancer Blog

[Cindy]

I was going to make a blog but I canned that I'm just going to post here. If you don't want to read it I ain't making you!

I do so to help me and to make sure that you all know what is going on.
I think that is important because this is a big site and has lots of staff and lots of work and Susan and I are real people with real everyday issues.

In many ways as Forum Admin I am the face, but the Site is Susan's and I am very proud that she has allowed me to be part of an incredible venture.

I met my Cancer support nurse today, lovely woman, very supportive. I am being fast tracked both because I am in a situation where I need to be fast tracked and I am otherwise fit and healthy, so co-morbidities are not an issue.

I start with radiotherapy on my neck which will burn my throat both internally and externally but I have been assured that as far as hair removal it is a damn sight more effective than electrolysis. I save money! I am also hit with three rounds of Chemo, I am not sure of the timing as yet.

I am having a PEG feeding tube put into my tummy over the next week or so I can get enough nutrients into me while my throat is damaged. I'm good with that.

I expressed my fear of being misgendered, insulted, ignored, whatever because I am a transexual female. I have been assured that I am and will be treated with upmost respect and if I feel I have been subject to any disrespect a very heavy hammer is available.

I get my face mould in the next two weeks, after therapy I can keep it! That will be a party piece!!
I'm feeling good.

I have been warned by everyone that this is a really hard and severe, brutal treatment.

I told them that Peter could not have done it.

I told them that Cindy is a strong woman who wants to live and I shall.
I also started 3 months sick leave, in Australia we have fully paid sick leave and I have well over a year and so far PET scans, MRI, CTs x 2 have cost me nothing.

My therapy is fully covered by my Government insurance as well.

I am going to buy a wig next week to be ready for when I lose my lovely hair

We are planning an overseas trip in 4-5 months so be careful I may visit you!!

Love you all

Cindy

[Ms Grace]

Gosh Cindy, I'm really so sorry you have to go through this but it's good you can treat it and you have a great chance at full recovery by the sound of it. Lotsa love and hugs!

... face mould...

uhhhh...what the...??

[Dee Marshall]

VERY interested in everything you have to report. I've lost too many to cancer and I'm glad that you're brave enough to do what needs to be done. Stay brave!

[Sno]

Just remember, everyday, one small step, and with your virtual family cheering from the sidelines, you have heaps of support.

[big hugs]

Kia Kaha.

Sno

[Cindy]

Gosh Cindy, I'm really so sorry you have to go through this but it's good you can treat it and you have a great chance at full recovery by the sound of it. Lotsa love and hugs!

... face mould...

uhhhh...what the...??

Mold/Mould depends on your country.

I need the radiotherapy directed to the tumour site only so they strap you down and place a warm polyurethane sheet across your face and torso so as it cools down and moulds itself to your features. It is then used to strap you down so that the beam goes to the same place each time.

It is said that making the mould is unpleasant.

I have to say I have had no pleasant experience in this trip so far! But Tracey my support nurse is lovely.

[Cindy]

Thanks people I need to talk about it just to keep my head together.

If it gets too much don't read!!

I have my lawyer on Wednesday to update my will and I have a medical directive in place. That is important it says what you don't want done to you if you cannot respond.

For me if in a non retrievable coma for example to turn off the machines.

Funny thing is I feel very healthy and fit. And people comment on it. You can't have cancer you look great!

Ah yes it is in my larynx, you can't see it, but it is starting to show as a lump in my right neck.

[Amber42]

You are approaching this with such courage and determination! 
Amazing!

That mould does sound unpleasant but that will be an awesome conversation piece to hang on the wall once you get through this.
Know that we are here for you, perhaps virtually, but definitely in spirit! 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Cindy]

Thanks Amber, I will face this as I approach life post transition.

Full on.

I did't want my larynx removed as communication is important to me.

I may be a crying mess begging for euthanasia in a few months but I will deal with that then.

I was told to enjoy food and drink this week because as soon as I get hit my taste buds are killed. So I enjoyed a nice chicken dinner and I am having lovely glass of malt whiskey before bed 

[V M]

I am quietly following along, I'm not the religious type and doubt there to be some sort of supreme being but I find myself crying and praying for you every day and night   

I've lost friends and family to cancer in the past but you have been my sister and best friend for 7 years and I am having a bit of trouble coping

I just want you to be cured, get well and heal up

Love you Sis

Hugs 

[Cindy]

Virginia,

You are my sister and we have been so close for so long.

Stop worrying Honey!

I do not have any fat female friends, and I ain't giving up until the fat lady sings.

(apologies if anyone gets offended)

[Devlyn]

Big hug! You're already on an overseas trip! You are aware that Australia is adrift, right? 

Hugs, Devlyn

[Tysilio]

Cindy, thank you for keeping us updated. Don't worry about anything you post being too much: if you can go through it, we can damn well read about it and be there for you as best we can.

Find the joy in every day... we all need to do this, and you remind us of that. You have an amazing spirit.

[Megan.]

Cindy, you have all my best wishes for the swiftest of recoveries. X

[JenniferLopezgomez]

Thanks Amber, I will face this as I approach life post transition.

Full on.

I did't want my larynx removed as communication is important to me.

I may be a crying mess begging for euthanasia in a few months but I will deal with that then.

I was told to enjoy food and drink this week because as soon as I get hit my taste buds are killed. So I enjoyed a nice chicken dinner and I am having lovely glass of malt whiskey before bed 

Cindy,

You are showing great bravery in the face of a truly grave situation. You are planning things well it sounds like.

Many people worldwide have beaten this. I am sure you are aware there are no guarantees. However feeling realistically optimistic helps loads I feel sure dear. And it sounds to me like you are doing this.

You really hit home with me just now with your point about euthanasia. You posted some nice comments to help ME out a month or so ago about this. For me I have at this time been able to solve my emotional stresses although I myself retain the right to euthanasia for ME. But I am emotionally doing super well now. You really have hit home for me how blessed I am in my 50s to have super physical health when I read just now about your cancer condition.

Cindy, PLEASE get well. No euthanasia. Simply get well. That's it.

Jennifer xx

[Rachel]

Cindy,

You were one of the people that helped me when I hit the wall. I have learned so much from you, such as face your fears. You are handling this as you handled everything since our paths crossed. I am wishing you the best and sending you positive thoughts,

Rachel

[Sspar]

Best wishes and all the best of luck.. and 1 big Hug from across the big puddle..

[Mariah]

Cindy, sorry for being late to respond. You have far more courage and strength then I have and inspiring to all of us. I hope and pray you get over things quickly. Always know we got your back.
Lova sis. Hugs
Mariah

[big kim]

Best wishes & good luck, stay strong & kick cancer's ass!

[Kylo]

That sounds grueling but the sooner it is done the better, yes?

Ah yes it is in my larynx, you can't see it, but it is starting to show as a lump in my right neck.

How did you discover it?

[Lynne]

I needed some time to process what I've just read I just couldn't believe it, I hoped I misunderstood something... I lost my grandmother, two uncles from my mother's side and almost lost my mother to cancer as well so when I saw Cindy and cancer in one sentence I was terrified.
I wish you all the best and the fastest and best recovery possible.
Cindy, you continually inspire us, even now when you face such hardships. Your attitude is amazing.
You changed so many lives for the better you deserve all the support you can get, the least we can do is read what you wish to share with us, I'm just sad that I can't do much more.
Stay strong!