Cindy's Cancer Blog

[Megan.]

I want to get on a plane just to come and give you a big hug! Your strength,  insight,  heart and resolve only continue to astound me. X

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[KathyLauren]

Aw, Cindy!  What a terrible uncertainty, and what a terrible choice to have to make.  (((((Hugs)))))  You will get through this because ... you are Cindy.

[JeanetteLW]

We are in love.

This year is our 35th wedding anniversary.

I made Vows. She made Vows.

I was laying on my bed worrying about Rebecca and I was visited by my last conversation to my Dad. We had not spoken fo

How do we reconcile the unreconcilable ?

How can I give up my throat?
How can I give up speech, swallowing?

How can I deal with being in such a difficult situation of being a TG woman in major surgery?


The only answer I have is that I made a Vow 35 years ago. My Dad's final conversation came to me "The only regret Son is that I'll die before your Mum, she is dependent upon me'

Dad, your daughter refuses to die before her wife.

I shall, if need be, have a laryngectomy and deal with it.

I'm Cindy and I do not give up.

This blog episode has been a very personal reflection.

  Fight on Cindy, Fight on!!

  I applaud your decision. Cancer survivors DO NOT GIVE UP!  That was the decision I was rooting for. You can relearn to eat and drink and many  have learned to talk again with a stoma.  Those are but small challenges many have overcome before you. With all the gadgets these days you have lots of ways to communicate.
  The important thing it you will still be here to live live with the love of your life. Congratulations on your 35 years together. The circumstance that you both have survived these medical challenges and your love still thrives is a testament to love itself. And we still get to benefit from your courage and wisdom too. Purely selfishly many here love you too. Stick around for us too, please.

  I'll say it again, Fight on Cindy, Fight on.

  Hugs,
    Jeanette

[AllisonFS]

Hello Cindy,
I have just joined here at Susan's and yours is one of the first blogs I have read. Cancer has stricken my family as well. I know that you don't know me, but please be assured that I have already and will continue to pray for you and send you whatever good thoughts and strength I can!
Allison

[Dee Marshall]

Cindy,
Even if cancer takes your audible voice, your strongest voice is right here. If it costs that audible voice to defend that larger voice then I selfishly say that I want you to make that sacrifice. Dr. Steven Hawking has spoken only through a voder for decades and has had a major impact upon the world. I find your impact, taking into account only the parts I'm aware of, no less great. I'm vaguely aware of what you have done outside this place and believe that it is no less than your impact here.

Please take care of yourself.

[Lynne]

I had problems seeing the monitor after I saw your post Cindy. It's incredible how strong is the bond between you and your wife, love conquers all.

[Rachel]

I am sorry you are going through this. My thoughts are with you.

[Cindy]

Unfortunately my feelings were correct and the cancer has returned or rather probably never went away.

I have been given a choice of palliative care with chemotherapy support or a laryngectomy that may be curative.

Bugger palliative care, this chick has shoes to buy!!!

I'm going to have a laryngectomy over the next couple of weeks and will recover from this temporary set back.

I had a chat with my support nurse and we have decided to make this into a training and support exercise for the medical staff in how to care for a transgender patient. Much too good an opportunity to miss!!

[Susan]

You know how I feel Cindy

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[JeanetteLW]

    I am so damn sorry to hear your cancer is there Cindy. I know what devastating news that is to get. I have tears in my eyes for you just from reading it.

   I am glad you chose to continue fighting, Damn right fight it all you can. It is what us cancer people do. If you aren't going to fight to live ,you might as well just roll over and die. I know you won't be doing that! Not you! You're going to say screw it, throw the dice once again and have that operation. By doing so you stand another chance of winning against this insidious disease. I'll be rooting for you Cindy You betcha I will!

  Lots of Hugs, Cindy
    Jeanette

[FTMDiaries]

I know Susan's not a fan of strong language here, but suffice it to say a lot of four-letter words are coming to mind right now.

I'm so sorry to hear that the treatment didn't eradicate it, and I wish you the very best for your upcoming surgery & recovery.

[V M]

*Sigh*     Love you

[Cindy]

I want to say something and very clearly. This is not the end of the fight, it is not the middle of the fight, it is the beginning of the fight.

My surgeon just phoned me, in his opinion I'm one of the most determined and strongest people he has met. He must not get out much.

He thinks surgery will be possibly curative and my radiochemotherapy has helped by reducing my risk drastically.

Where is my mind?

Good and strong.

I so love you all for being here for me.

Can you take a time out for thinking about my staff, the GM's. We work closely and over the last few months it has been hard on them to put up with me.

Maybe we should have a support a GM session?


Mmm I like that!

[Devlyn]

"The beginning of the fight"



Those are great words, spoken by a warrior.    I'm right here, with you and for ypu.

Hugs, Devlyn

[zirconia]

I'm thinking of you.

[georgie]

Light hugs and prayers as needed.

G

[KathyLauren]

Sending good vibes your way.  Get well and enjoy those shoes!

[Dee Marshall]

You're inspiring, Cindy! You bring me to tears. To take your own struggle and and turn it into a learning session for staff, I have no words!

[Paige]

Hoping all goes well.  You're one hell of a gal Cindy. 
Paige

[Sno]

You may be quiet in person, but you will be NOISEY on the keyboard. Cindy, if anyone can, it's you.

Take the fight on, and succeed!

Rowan