family comments

[roseyfox]

so was at a family event today it was my uncle birthday and one of my older cousin was staring at me so i walked over and said hey. First words out of his mouth are you look like a butch lesbian *roll eyes* like is that offensive or not

[Dena]

In another thread I warned you that you weren't far from male fail. Your uncle is very uncouth to say the least but others are noticing.

[Kelly Girl]

so was at a family event today it was my uncle birthday and one of my older cousin was staring at me so i walked over and said hey. First words out of his mouth are you look like a butch lesbian *roll eyes* like is that offensive or not

You asked , so here's my one cent , worth even less :-)
I learned long ago , I'm 50 now , that what people think about me is none of my business .
I also learned through a heck of allot of pain , that if I actually cared what other people think about me , it leaves no time to care about what's important , ME .
Nobody likes to be stared at in a negative manner , nor talked smack to either . Going up to him set yourself up for confrontation , and looks like he had no problem with snide comments either escalating the whole thing into a kind of crappy experience for you .
Just because someone's related doesn't mean they own you , or can talk smack to you .
Yes , to answer your question , it was offensive !
Here's the deal . If your talking down to someone , instead of putting them up , your talking smack . Not good not cool .
Develop inner boundaries for abuse , and weigh them carefully before you act , a pause if you will to think about , DO YOU REALLY GIVE A CRAP , or how ugly can this get , or is this person really worth saying anything to .
You may find if you practice that enough , you will no longer give a crap about that kind of altercation , because actually you won't care . You'll learn you are your ONLY judge , and your a good judge because you no longer live by others opinions .
I in my earlier years I would have escalated that episode into very hostile comments back , for sure . I learned , it isn't worth my time , because I love me more than that .
Kelly Girl out

[roseyfox]

ahhh na i didn't care about the comment it was just a eye roll thing and like really. I just ignored it and we started talking politics which was mostly a small argument that came down to a compromise in both are thoughts.

[roseyfox]

In another thread I warned you that you weren't far from male fail. Your uncle is very uncouth to say the least but others are noticing.

yes i guess so but it just meh for me so far this whole transition is just meh and i don't understand other people and why they look at me differently. Like i just want to say hey i am the same person that's it now let talk about something else.

[kylie1]

Excellent advice!  I'm nearly 50 and I present as a giant Alfa male.  I'll wear women's shorts with little Bobbi socks and fem dock shoes. Lol Mostly,nobody says a word, everyone stares and the only time someone said anything he was drunk hanging with his buddies.  He said "are supposed to be gay or something?" And in my deep man voice I said "why don't you bend over and we'll find out". His friends laughed at him, but whistled at me as I rounded the corner.  They were being facetious of course, but the thing to always remeber is love your life how you want.  Just don't live to others opinions, there is no happiness in that.  Xx

[Kylo]

yes i guess so but it just meh for me so far this whole transition is just meh and i don't understand other people and why they look at me differently. Like i just want to say hey i am the same person that's it now let talk about something else.

People can be extremely shallow. Some might think their observational commentary on someone's look is the height of wit. Some don't have much else going on in their brain.