Does this mean I pass?

[AnamethatstartswithE]

So I'm pre-everything and not even sure if or how far I want to transition, but I have been growing my hair out for almost a year. I was finishing up a run this evening about 10pm, and I had my hair in a pony tail. I was running across a crosswalk at an intersection when I heard behind me from a car that had just come up, a wolf whistle and something I couldn't understand (it sounded like sucka but I'm pretty sure that wasn't it). It was about 10 seconds or so before I even realized that it might be aimed at me, I kept running, and as I was coming up to my apartment the same car came by and the guy in the back seat made some sort of uulating sound, I only saw him out of the corner of my eye, but I'm certain it was directed at me.

The first one I found kind of entertaining in a (wow they must be desperate if they find me attractive) kind of way. The second time was a little scary, but I was mainly worried that as soon as they saw me in the light and realized their mistake they might react badly.

I'm still thinking of this as more amusing than dehumanizing but if it keeps up for a long time I'll probably change my tune. So does this count as my first time passing in public?

[Semira]

So does this count as my first time passing in public?

Sure, if you want it to! Although when it comes to creepy guys late in the evening, I personally would rather not pass. 

Longer hair just by itself can often times automatically make people put someone into the female category until/if they get a closer look. I'm pre-everything and still dress completely masculine but I'm slender and I've had waist length hair for many years now. From behind and even from ahead if someone really isn't paying attention I've been referred to as female.

[EmilyMK03]

I would be careful running alone at 10 pm at night.  If you're being perceived as a woman, you're vulnerable, and you may be physically attacked.  You might want to take extra precautions, such as putting your hair up in a bun, or carrying pepper spray, or running earlier in the day. 

It's not normal for a woman to be running around at 10 pm, alone, even in a safe neighborhood.  Be careful out there!

[stephaniec]

when I go out at night I always without exception stay in well lighted areas with a lot of people . I made the mistake one night of taking a wrong train and taking the bus back and ended up on a street by a bar at 3 in the morning with drunks all around and it was not a pleasant experience.

[treeLB]

It probably makes you feel good and is validating but it is not what I would consider passing.

Passing, to me, is when no one is going to be able to distinguish you as male or as trans, your just a woman to everyone - at work and in your community.

I've been transitioned for some time, and while I am generally accepted as female I don't consider myself as "passing" as many people can recognize that I am transsexual.

[AnamethatstartswithE]

It probably makes you feel good and is validating but it is not what I would consider passing.

I meant the whole "is this passing?" Statement as more tongue in cheek than serious.

Longer hair just by itself can often times automatically make people put someone into the female category until/if they get a closer look.

That's what I assume is the case, though I do also have Wide hips and a somewhat girly butt. At first I found it strange that they wouldn't take my lack of Boobs, until I realized that due to sports bras few women runners show visible cleavage.

And to the other comments, I normally run during my lunch break, but this week I have a weird work thing that is messing that up. Plus I'm 6'4" and 228 lbs so I doubt anyone near by would risk an attack on me.

[Tessa James]

Being considered a woman, even from a distance, comes with membership in a club noted for dehumanizing experiences that include violence.  One in three women are feeling that today.

When I lived as a guy that male privilege meant I was more likely predator than prey and seen as a competitor by other males.  It is some of our special experiences as transgender people to really feel life as other gendered people do.

I once road my bicycle any time of the day or night and walked my dog whenever I felt like it in Portland.  Not any more.  My adult daughter was one of the first people to say; "you can't do that anymore!"  I had recently started HRT and what would once have resulted in righteous anger became crying and tears.  OMG, I thought, that is not going to stop someone from getting in my face.  I had a mini melt down but resolved to confront my new reality with confidence and care.

Although I resent it, the truth is that women of any age or shape are too often victims of violence.  It becomes truly in our own interests to now be mindful of our safety.  One of the T girl clubs I have been out with always insists on walking to our parked cars in pairs.  It becomes second nature to consider what some call situational awareness.  I used to engage in making direct eye contact with men.  Not any more.  That eye contact might now mean very different things as beauty and pursuit are in the minds of the beholder?

Walk tall, be confident and watch out 😀

[Semira]

When I was a kid my Mom would routinely take late night (2am) walks alone along poorly lit streets in an industrial part of town. Occasionally I'd go with her either out of boredom or concern. For all I know she still takes late night/early morning walks. More power to any woman that can walk fearless through the night! But I do recommend some kind of self-defense tool.   😉

[DawnOday]

My brother has had long hair since the 70's He is now 62. He gets hit on all the time. Then he turns around and shows them his moustache. One immutable fact of life is most guys are horndogs and will hit on anything remotely looking female. Since you are seeking a second opinion, you're not quite there yet.

[DawnOday]

It probably makes you feel good and is validating but it is not what I would consider passing.

Passing, to me, is when no one is going to be able to distinguish you as male or as trans, your just a woman to everyone - at work and in your community.

I've been transitioned for some time, and while I am generally accepted as female I don't consider myself as "passing" as many people can recognize that I am transsexual.

Age makes a big difference. If you are in your twenties and you have enough FFS you should do pretty good. I mean look at all the transitions timelines on ->-bleeped-<- or youtube.

[stephaniec]

I meant the whole "is this passing?" Statement as more tongue in cheek than serious.

That's what I assume is the case, though I do also have Wide hips and a somewhat girly butt. At first I found it strange that they wouldn't take my lack of Boobs, until I realized that due to sports bras few women runners show visible cleavage.

And to the other comments, I normally run during my lunch break, but this week I have a weird work thing that is messing that up. Plus I'm 6'4" and 228 lbs so I doubt anyone near by would risk an attack on me.

I mean no harm , but I think you should reevaluate your perspective on being jumped just because you perceive yourself as big. Kritin Beck  was jumped on a street and severely assaulted by a group of thugs.for being trans.

[Jessika]

We are all our own worse judges. To ourselves, we will never pass in a mirror.
Confirmation is when noone bats a second eye at you or you come to the forums here and ask.

Your family knows your "Before' so they more than likely will not tell you what you DON'T want to hear.

I go out all the time as myself and feel very confident. Sure, I get stares here and there, but I will never know if it's:

"Woah, shes cute" or "Dude in a dress" or in my case maybe because I a 6 feet tall. You just don't know.

But I have had guys smile at me, let me pass thru first (Car or walking, biking) and it feels good. But I never know 100%.

[Ⓥ]

If you have to ask if you're passing then you're probably not, but that's just a general rule of thumb that has exceptions.

It's kinda like; if you have to ask if you're hungry, you're probably just needing emotional fulfillment and probably not actually hungry.  People KNOW when they're hungry!  Likewise, girls who pass easily know they do; no need to ask a message board about it.

[barbie]

I would be careful running alone at 10 pm at night.  If you're being perceived as a woman, you're vulnerable, and you may be physically attacked.  You might want to take extra precautions, such as putting your hair up in a bun, or carrying pepper spray, or running earlier in the day. 

It's not normal for a woman to be running around at 10 pm, alone, even in a safe neighborhood.  Be careful out there!

Yes. It is very rare for a woman to run at 10 PM here too. My area is probably one of the safest places in the world, but few women run alone at night. But many women walk on heels at night, but strangely they do not exercise outdoors at night. Once I heard that a woman ran alone for exercise late at night, but the advice from her friends was just to be careful. But a lot of men and couples do run outdoors late at night.

A few years ago, when I ran along a busy road at night, one car stopped in the front of me, and the young driver asked me whether I need a ride. I was really upset, as it is obvious that I am exercising, but still asks me that kind of stupid question. Just ignored it.