Getting pressured into not getting therapy. Not sure how long I'm gonna last...

[WarGrowlmon1990]

So I'm... I don't know what's gonna happen. I had a really bad argument with someone I'm very close with. They grew up in an abusive home and basically were robbed of their childhood. I haven't had a particularly horrific childhood, but it was neglectful. And being trans hasn't made my depression any better. I was diagnosed with clinical depression, OCD, generalized anxiety and social anxiety in early 2014, and when I was a kid I was also diagnosed with inattentive ADHD. Back when I first finally got diagnosed, I listened to this person when they told me that I don't need therapy and have been trying to go it alone and fight it. It's been a couple years........ and it's SO. MUCH. WORSE. I've tried bringing this up, but it never does anything. Last night I tried talking this person into just listening to my perspective and how beneficial therapy will be for me... and that just made the person I'm close with angry. They said that they never went to therapy and they turned out perfectly fine (while leaving out all their anger issues). They said I have no reason to be depressed. It's like they forgot I'm trans (I didn't even bother mentioning that cause the situation would escalate more). They said that only homeless people, refugees and people from third world countries have the right to be depressed... and that all I need is my family...







... Maybe they're right. I'm so ungrateful... I should just be happy all the time, knowing that I have a roof over my head, healthy children, and people who let me attend family gatherings (although I don't think I'd be able to if everyone knew I was trans). I hate myself so much. I wish I could trade places with someone in such a terrible situation so that they could have a good life they deserve. I don't deserve to live in such luxery.

[Elis]

Ok; I would ignore them from here on out.  Of course mental illness isn't the same for everyone; if they became better on their own great for them; but most need extra help. It doesn't matter how well you're doing in life; what your social status is; mental illness doesn't discriminate and will affect anyone.
Not saying my situation is the same but I live with my dad who doesn't understand mental illness at all. He thinks I use my social anxiety and depression as an excuse to be lazy and not get a job. And he also said if he can get over anxiety so can I.  Of course that's complete bs. After dealing with depression for 5 or so yrs I have finally decided to take antidepressants which has helped. And I've also just started CBT to help with my social anxiety which has helped more than I thought it would.
You deserve to have wonderful children and somewhere to live and much more. Most people you pass on the street are dealing with some sort of mental illness but don't have the courage to go to therapy. It's not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of bravery.

[Ella_bella]

Hello! I believe everyone is different, but also we all handle things differently as well. At the end of the day, what is right for you; may not be right for someone else.

My experience with therapy and treatment has been almost completely positive (I had a therapist for a short period that wasnt working out for me). The reason I first found myself in therapy was not due to me being transgender, but for some other issues similar to yourself. At first I thought I could deal with it myself, without any professional help - and at times it seemed like I was improving, but I found myself in a cycle of returning to my old patterns and behaviours.

The thing that I finally realised before seeking treatment was that my perception of what was going on around me was so completely inaccurate. My epiphany was that I couldnt fix what was inside my head, with my "malfunctioning" head.

Im curious about the person that is close to you getting angry at you wanting to get help. Their viewpoints on who needs therapy and therapy itself appear limited and ignorant.

My advice is do whats right for you, dont avoid doing something to make someone else happy (or not angry). There's nothing wrong with giving therapy a try... keep in mind that not all therapists are equal and it may take a few sessions (or trying a few therapists) to find your therapy groove.

[WarGrowlmon1990]

Ok; I would ignore them from here on out.  Of course mental illness isn't the same for everyone; if they became better on their own great for them; but most need extra help. It doesn't matter how well you're doing in life; what your social status is; mental illness doesn't discriminate and will affect anyone.
Not saying my situation is the same but I live with my dad who doesn't understand mental illness at all. He thinks I use my social anxiety and depression as an excuse to be lazy and not get a job. And he also said if he can get over anxiety so can I.  Of course that's complete bs. After dealing with depression for 5 or so yrs I have finally decided to take antidepressants which has helped. And I've also just started CBT to help with my social anxiety which has helped more than I thought it would.
You deserve to have wonderful children and somewhere to live and much more. Most people you pass on the street are dealing with some sort of mental illness but don't have the courage to go to therapy. It's not a sign of weakness; it's a sign of bravery.

Oh, I know exactly how that is. I've been told that I'm just lazy and making things up by a few different people. It hurts because these are people I'm really close with and thought I could tell anything too. It makes me wonder how people can be so cold when we reach out to them, especially if they've dealt with mental illness themselves. It's as if us just simply trying to talk about it brings back bad memories for them. The person I mentioned in my post earlier... he's my partner, so it's especially hurtful when he says these things to me. But I believe he has PTSD and I've come to the theory that negativity tends to bring back unwanted flashbacks for him. He's the type of person that can be very optimistic when everything is right, and he tries to avoid emotions like sadness as often as he can. He also gets very defensive and has an explosive temper. I wanna help him out in this too cause last night he told me that multiple people have strongly suggested that he go to therapy. But he's so stubborn. I'm too passive to convince other people to get help in the first place so I'm just gonna do what's right for me and get help, despite what he and other certain people think. Hopefully he'll just see for himself the results therapy will produce for me and maybe he'll start to help himself. I know for a fact that his anger issues are strongly rooted in his abusive childhood. Sorry for the craziness at the end of my post there. I can act pretty stupid when I'm feeling like I was this morning.

Hello! I believe everyone is different, but also we all handle things differently as well. At the end of the day, what is right for you; may not be right for someone else.

My experience with therapy and treatment has been almost completely positive (I had a therapist for a short period that wasnt working out for me). The reason I first found myself in therapy was not due to me being transgender, but for some other issues similar to yourself. At first I thought I could deal with it myself, without any professional help - and at times it seemed like I was improving, but I found myself in a cycle of returning to my old patterns and behaviours.

The thing that I finally realised before seeking treatment was that my perception of what was going on around me was so completely inaccurate. My epiphany was that I couldnt fix what was inside my head, with my "malfunctioning" head.

Im curious about the person that is close to you getting angry at you wanting to get help. Their viewpoints on who needs therapy and therapy itself appear limited and ignorant.

My advice is do whats right for you, dont avoid doing something to make someone else happy (or not angry). There's nothing wrong with giving therapy a try... keep in mind that not all therapists are equal and it may take a few sessions (or trying a few therapists) to find your therapy groove.

I was pretty upset about it last night and woke up upset this morning. I've done quite a bit of thinking and I really think I do need therapy so I'm still sticking to my original plan of doing so when I get a respite worker to help me with my kids. It's getting overwhelming so I'm gonna do what's right for me this time. It's been hard waiting though. If I had been seeing a therapist sooner, chances are I wouldn't get so over emotional and act crazy like this. I find that if I bottle things up too much and things build up for too long, I just snap and and completely break down.

[Ella_bella]

I was pretty upset about it last night and woke up upset this morning. I've done quite a bit of thinking and I really think I do need therapy so I'm still sticking to my original plan of doing so when I get a respite worker to help me with my kids. It's getting overwhelming so I'm gonna do what's right for me this time. It's been hard waiting though. If I had been seeing a therapist sooner, chances are I wouldn't get so over emotional and act crazy like this. I find that if I bottle things up too much and things build up for too long, I just snap and and completely break down.

Good for you Hun!

PTSD

This is the original reason I reached out for help and treatment. I can relate, and im sorry to hear that your partner may be suffering from this.

I was only ready to ask for help when I eventually did, not before. It doesn't mean that I didnt need the help, I had to own the process of reaching out.

[stephaniec]

when it comes down to your mental health and a lot of other things it truly is your life and no one else's. I ir was me and someone did that to me I really would have no need of that person in my life, unless your talking about a parent or a SO then I would just ignore them.

[amberwaves]

It sounds more like borderline personality disorder than PTSD, though there is considerable similarity.

[Semira]

They said that only homeless people, refugees and people from third world countries have the right to be depressed... and that all I need is my family...

Lots of people try to make this argument but it's really silly if you think about it. There are always people worse off than someone else. If only the worst off person was allowed to be depressed, then at any given time only one person on Earth would be allowed to be depressed. Those homeless people and refugees can't complain because there's someone somewhere being beaten 12 hours a day. And that person can't complain either because someone else is beaten 15 hours a day. Not good enough because someone else is beaten 15 hours a day and has no food or water. This can go on and on until you find someone in a situation I can't even imagine. And then finally, that one person is allowed to be depressed. I don't think that one person will find much consolation in that.

As has already been said, just focus on what's best for you. That's all that matters.

[Kylo]

Someone else is in absolutely no position to judge on what is and isn't worth being depressed about in your brain. Because they are not you and don't know a thing about your personal experience.