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Does your outside appearance effect how you feel on the inside?

Started by highlight, June 30, 2016, 05:32:36 PM

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highlight

"If I am lucky Mr talent will rub his tendrils on my art"
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RobynD

Absolutely. Looking your best is like smiling often, it comes out positive for you and those around you.



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I'm curious who's going to say no... I'd like what they're smoking.


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Michelle_P

Oh, absolutely.

Gender presentation informs and reinforces gender identity.  If I present my best appearance as my true self, it is very reassuring to my inner self.  My dysphoria fades away, not merely from the initial burst of euphoria at being myself, but in a persistent effect that lasts over as many days as I can continue to present myself properly.

On the other hand, if I present as well as possible in the gender opposite my identity, I am not a happy camper, no matter how my appearance is praised by others.  At the back of my mind, that little sensation of "But, you're wrong" is constantly nagging and eroding my self esteem and confidence.

So yeah, outside appearance definitely impacts how I feel on the inside.  If it didn't I've have no need for all this therapy, not to mention my wardrobe and cosmetics.  ;)
Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.

My personal transition path included medical changes.  The path others take may require no medical intervention, or different care.  We each find our own path. I provide these dates for the curious.
Electrolysis - Hours in The Chair: 238 (8.5 were preparing for GCS, five clearings); On estradiol patch June 2016; Full-time Oct 22, 2016; GCS Oct 20, 2017; FFS Aug 28, 2018; Stage 2 labiaplasty revision and BA Feb 26, 2019
Michelle's personal blog and biography
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barbie

Just do it.
  • skype:barbie?call
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Ms Grace

Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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stephaniec

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highlight

The reason I asked this question was because I have noticed that my male face and voice influences how I feel on the inside in terms of gender.

I have even noticed my identity molding around my male* body. (I sometimes feel like a manly woman!)
"If I am lucky Mr talent will rub his tendrils on my art"
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Nothing to add on my end, but I just noticed this:

Quote from: highlight on July 01, 2016, 11:15:10 AM
"I'm twenty and I'm an idiot."

Have no clue or opinion to it's validity, but it made me LoL~


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DawnOday

Dressed in my lady clothes. Yes  I am very aware what I am wearing. As a guy. I just don't care. Everything is so bland.
Dawn Oday

It just feels right   :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss: :icon_kiss:

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First indication I was different- 1956 kindergarten
First crossdress - Asked mother to dress me in sisters costumes  Age 7
First revelation - 1982 to my present wife
First time telling the truth in therapy June 15, 2016
Start HRT Aug 2016
First public appearance 5/15/17



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alex82

Yes, of course.

I'm quite vain, and I don't care whether it's shallow or not.

It's not.
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Nicole

I like to look my best at all times, that in turn helps me on the inside.

Yes! I'm single
And you'll have to be pretty f'ing amazing to change that
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Semira

In a way, I'm kind of the opposite. My outward appearance is generally a reflection of how I feel on the inside. I usually feel lousy on the inside and that causes me to be very apathetic about my outward appearance. I'll go out looking awful and I often don't care. I imagine if I felt better about myself, I would then work to improve my appearance.
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JLT1

My outward appearance is more a function of time than mood.  If I'm rushed, not so good.  If I have time, I  look very good.  If I'm feeling bad, taking time to look good helps.

But, a smile is the best wardrobe article there is.  Sometimes, it just isn't there.

Hugs,

Jen
To move forward is to leave behind that which has become dear. It is a call into the wild, into becoming someone currently unknown to us. For most, it is a call too frightening and too challenging to heed. For some, it is a call to be more than we were capable of being, both now and in the future.
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Veronica J

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sarah1972

Yes - absolutely. Since I am only part time the difference in feeling is much more prevalent. If I can't dress up for a day or two, I do notice some odd urge to be more Sarah. So yes - being Sarah makes me feel a whole lot better. I am calmer, more focused and just a boat load happier :-)

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JoanneB

Quote from: highlight on July 01, 2016, 11:15:10 AM
The reason I asked this question was because I have noticed that my male face and voice influences how I feel on the inside in terms of gender.

I have even noticed my identity molding around my male* body. (I sometimes feel like a manly woman!)
No doubt I feel "Different" when presenting as female vs my typical male mode. When presenting as female I feel complete, how I feel on the inside matches completely what I see on the outside. I feel good to great about being me. Especially when I feel I look pretty damn good for an old bat.

It is also a different "Different" then years ago when I first started to take the trans-beast on for real. Almost a reversal of sorts. A few years back I couldn't take seeing myself in a mirror. I didn't like my body. I didn't like being me. Seeing a woman looking back in the mirror gave me some hope, some sense of being alive and able to have at least one "dream" that someday I just might feel good being me.

After years of work, shedding a lifetime of guilt and shame, and some better living through pharmacology, even in male mode I can feel good about being me when I look in the mirror. Most of the time I see me. I see a me that found joy. Certainly different from the past.

Both of my therapist had asked me "What would be different if Joanne showed up to work tomorrow?". Both times the instant response was nothing besides wearing a dress and perhaps feeling more complete or whole.

The real reversal I think is how now my insides always feel good whether I'm presenting as female or not, vs the insides only feeling good when I was presenting female.
.          (Pile Driver)  
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                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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Jalynn

Wonder if many are probably  like me? I went from really disliking any picture I took of myself as a guy and really just kept 1 for years to really liking how some of my pics looked as a girl.
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Petti

Yes it does, very much so. On the outside I look like a testosterone ravaged beast and this really does a number on my confidence.
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alex82

Quote from: Jalynn on July 02, 2016, 10:33:13 AM
Wonder if many are probably  like me? I went from really disliking any picture I took of myself as a guy and really just kept 1 for years to really liking how some of my pics looked as a girl.

The opposite. I liked how I looked, and things like my former driving licence picture make me feel quite sad - it's a really great picture. I gave it to my mother, which is doubly ironic because I feel almost parental about the person in the picture.

The thought of her having a collection of things like that, the same way she would if I was dead, is just heartbreaking. However supportive she is, I know that this is profoundly sad for her. In a way it might be easier if she was nasty or unaccepting.

There are pictures of me on nights out or on holidays. Then there are pictures of me with people like my grandfather, who is dead, and those are the only type of picture where both of us are together that I'll ever have. I could never abandon them.

There are no pictures I want to destroy, and things like having to have the name on my degree certificate changed made me feel quite bereft. The original is now just a bit of paper that may as well go in the bin. There's nothing I like about that.
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