Quote from: tgirlamc on November 02, 2016, 07:36:07 PMI am a firm believer that passing as female is what truly matters... Cis or Trans female matters not .... Worrying about passing 100% 24/7 as a cis woman ... Something we are not... Can turn what is an amazing journey into a path to misery
This is nicely put, and true in very important ways, but I don't think it's entirely accurate.
Out in the big bad world, there are those who will treat you differently if you get clocked. And by "differently" I mean "not as a woman." This is the case even with good, well-meaning people. But it's still a hell of a lot better than getting gendered as a cis male.
And sure, the way cis people organize their categories are, in many respects, flat out wrong, but that's still the reality we with have to deal with nonetheless. It's a different experience not getting clocked for five, ten, fifteen years and counting. Whether that's ultimately a "better" experience or not depends on each person's truth and self understanding.
If you have the opportunity (not all of us do) to correct certain features so as not to get clocked, I highly recommend taking them.
Whether or not the opportunity is available, though, getting read as "female" in the broader sense is still absolutely vital. And that really doesn't have so much to do with physicality as it does with "spirit" or consciousness or personality, what have you. All the surgeries in the world won't mean diddly-squat without this interior alignment and adjustment, and in the end that *is* what will be most important. Which ultimately comes out, I think, primarily through voice. I don't mean pitch or timbre or resonance, either, but saying what needs to be said out of compassion and empathy and presence and just being in relationships. (In this case, hugs count as "voice" as far as I'm concerned.)
We focus so much on our physical features (and rightly so, given our materialistic world) but there's very little discussion, I think, on what "passing" means in terms of socialization and ways of interacting. Which isn't just a matter of being nice -- as women we are more than capable of being cruel, but I do think even this has a different inflection in our culture.
It's the interior work -- not just narcissistic or solipsistic "be yourself" stuff -- that I think makes this a truly amazing journey. In part because this will always be ongoing, long after the knives are put away.
