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Do I Look, or Could I Pass as, Female? 6.0

Started by V M, July 01, 2016, 10:09:56 AM

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Vervain

#1020
Quote from: josie76 on January 28, 2017, 05:28:59 PM
OK girls, how do i pass?  ??? or not  ::)

Oh right I know I have a shadow showing. I didn't use anything to cover it.

IMG_20170128_165002032 by Josie H, on Flickr

IMG_20170128_164948579 by Josie H, on Flickr

IMG_20170128_164957190 by Josie H, on Flickr

The only things that stand out to me -- and part of this may be lighting -- is the shadow and jawline. That said, I think once you're able to ditch the shadow (yeah, I know, $$$... my girlfriend is transitioning and looking the prices for electrolysis), you could pass. I know several cis women who have strong jawlines. Every so often they might get misgendered, but upon correction, the person is usually mortified.

Something you might consider, if you haven't already, is grow the hair out long enough (if you're able to handle the dysphoria; totally understand if you can't) to get the facial hair professionally waxed. That lasts, in my experience, 6-8wks. That would give you a better idea of how your jawline would look without facial hair. (At least for me, the facial hair is what causes the most dysphoria for me; it may be different for you.) If you've got the money to spare, I'd suggest it; a facial wax isn't that terribly expensive in comparison to a full body wax, which can run $200+.

My facial hair starts to grow back within 12hrs of shaving. It is dysphoria inducing. I recently bought an epilator, which is another option. That said, while I've had a great experience with it -- coming on 3wks and barely any hair! -- my trans girlfriend who has much thicker hair has not had success with it. The one I bought is the Braun Silk 9, if you're curious. It's about $100, and usually lasts 4-6wks, which significantly lessens my dysphoria.

My aforementioned girlfriend, Mia Elora, who is also on Susan's (I've permission to mention her by name), had a negative experience with it. For her, it felt like the hairs were being yanked out at the skin level rather than being tweezed, and the hair grew back within a couple days.

I know there are are also home laser tools, but I've no experience with them, and they're about $500 vs. $100. I decided on the epilator for now, and I've had really good luck with it. However, I should note that I am abnormal in that I only experienced pain up towards the scalp, and that was on the max setting. I also have less facial hair than an AMAB individual.

So, there's options out there. I hope this helps some! (BTW, aside from the shadow, I probably wouldn't notice, because I know soooooo many cis women who have strong jawlines. It's not just a "male" thing. Cis women have strong jawlines, too. :) )

*hugs and cookies of choice offered* <3
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Vervain

Quote from: JessicaK on January 30, 2017, 11:53:39 AM
Some new photos from the past week :)









PS I hate my smile lol

Jessica

Girl. You are rocking that pixie cut. You've absolutely got the facial structure for it. I'm also envious of your mad makeup skillz, because I sure as hell can't pull it off that well. I disagree with the other comment saying it's too much eyeliner -- but I'm biased, being a goth and all. We sorta go all out for the melodramatic look. (Oh, the differing opinions on makeup!)

If you're going for a gothic/punk/alternative look, you definitely pull it off. The only comment I might make is trying a lipstick that is a touch darker. Only a touch, else it'll be too much. Or, well, it'll be definitely dramatic and gothic. Honestly, whether the makeup is too much depends on what look you're going for. And that's totally a personal choice -- and you don't have to stick with one style, either! There is so much makeup out there. Soooo much makeup... so little money... *longing sigh*

As for whether you pass... I can say for absolute certain I know cis girls who go for the same style you're rocking, and the only reason I might stop and take a second (or third... or fourth ;) ) glance because damn, girl, you're cute as hell. As far as I'm concerned, you definitely pass, and you're damn cute, too. :)

*hugs and cookies of choice offered* <3
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Miss Lux

Quote from: StevieC9 on July 01, 2016, 01:27:20 PM
Well, posted a pic in 5.0 but now that's closed and I forgot to actually ask if I could pass. I'm at about 6months hrt and just wondered what others opinions were.


Just my honest opinion.... Yeah you could pass as is.... But u cld pass so much easier with a little tweaking but u don't have to unless u want it like.... Wearing softer/lighter colors, maybe a lip filler, alarplasty and a scalp advancement....
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Miss Lux

Quote from: janelleb on July 06, 2016, 06:23:26 PM


Here's a recent. I get my smile [emoji19]. Sometimes I feel good about myself, most times I don't. What do you all think.

There is a huge potential to be really passable and eventually become hot.... Hair is too forward and looks kinda fakei.... A good eyebrow, a lip lift or lip filler might help... Just my opinion...
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Miss Lux

Quote from: Confetti on July 11, 2016, 03:01:08 PM


Ii posted this in the fabulous thread too but I wanted some feedback in here too,
I want to come out ASAP but i'm still pre everything and will have the wait for hormones so i'm a little worried about being full time with no hrt  ???

Also the lighting and my cheekbones cast such a badly placed shadow on my face which makes it look like im trying to cover facial hair but I literally can't even grow any on the sides on my face in the places  ???

Beyond passable... Gorgeous actually!
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Rachel_Christina

Does anyone have a conection with Confetti?? I have not heard from her in months :/


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JessicaK

Quote from: Vervain on January 31, 2017, 12:24:23 AM
Girl. You are rocking that pixie cut. You've absolutely got the facial structure for it. I'm also envious of your mad makeup skillz, because I sure as hell can't pull it off that well. I disagree with the other comment saying it's too much eyeliner -- but I'm biased, being a goth and all. We sorta go all out for the melodramatic look. (Oh, the differing opinions on makeup!)

If you're going for a gothic/punk/alternative look, you definitely pull it off. The only comment I might make is trying a lipstick that is a touch darker. Only a touch, else it'll be too much. Or, well, it'll be definitely dramatic and gothic. Honestly, whether the makeup is too much depends on what look you're going for. And that's totally a personal choice -- and you don't have to stick with one style, either! There is so much makeup out there. Soooo much makeup... so little money... *longing sigh*

As for whether you pass... I can say for absolute certain I know cis girls who go for the same style you're rocking, and the only reason I might stop and take a second (or third... or fourth ;) ) glance because damn, girl, you're cute as hell. As far as I'm concerned, you definitely pass, and you're damn cute, too. :)

*hugs and cookies of choice offered* <3

Thank you so much, confidence boost absorbed! :D
I'm actually going to buy a darker red soon. I was using snapchat filters the other day and came across the lipstick one which uses darker lipstick. Totally suited me lol. I'll have to try a few different colours next time I'm shopping :)

Hugs and cookies (triple choc) accepted <3

Jessica
Gots da blog going. http://jesskerra.blogspot.co.uk/
and a friendly heya to you!

Hugz!



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I Am Jess

JessicaK do what makes you feel good about yourself. I remember being told that I was using too much eye liner by someone. I looked at different women out in public and noticed that there are so many different ways that women wear makeup. I decided to do what makes me feel good and what I like. If you look at almost all of my photos I use a lot of eyeliner and mascara on my eyes. I've been full time for over a year and a half and I'm constantly getting complements on my makeup. I think you are well on your way girl. Keep experimenting and when you find the style that you like you will know it.
Follow my life's adventures on Instagram - @jessieleeannmcgrath
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jgravitt01

I have little to no makeup experience at all but I do believe everyone is spot on because it is from their perspective. In the end if you take in the advice as I do and then form your own opinion, you can't go wrong. Be you unless you can be Batgirl then be Batgirl...smiles! -Jaime

Sent from my SCH-I535 using Tapatalk

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ainsley

Quote from: jgravitt01 on January 31, 2017, 10:11:57 AM
...I do believe everyone is spot on because it is from their perspective. In the end if you take in the advice as I do and then form your own opinion, you can't go wrong. ...

I think this thread is for just that: hearing other perspectives on one's appearance.  It is not the end all what people say in this thread, but if you only go to where people will tell you what you want to hear, then you will gain nothing. ;)
Some people say I'm apathetic, but I don't care.

Wonder Twin Powers Activate!
Shape of A GIRL!
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Korra-

maybe a bit unorthodox but does my voice pass? im still nervous to use it in public around strangers. I figure it should be okay to post here since voice is considered part of your appearance, but just in case it's not here a dress pic too

vocaroo.com/i/s0OV9KKZoVP1

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Floof

Quote from: Korra- on January 31, 2017, 11:32:50 AM
maybe a bit unorthodox but does my voice pass? im still nervous to use it in public around strangers. I figure it should be okay to post here since voice is considered part of your appearance, but just in case it's not here a dress pic too

vocaroo.com/i/s0OV9KKZoVP1
Heey, I think your voice sorta cracks a bit towards the end of the clip which is the only thing that sounded out of place, but frankly if I didn't know you were a transwoman I don't think I would have reacted to it.. I'm no expert on this stuff, my voice is pretty bad.. But it think yours for the most part sounded really nice, I wouldn't have been wondering if i was talking to a woman or not if that was us talking on the phone.

You look absolutely lovely ;D
Reisen er lang, hard og full av farer; vær modig mine brødre og søstre <3




SRS w/ Dr. Chet May 12th 2017
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Nina_Ottawa

Quote from: ainsley on January 31, 2017, 11:24:04 AM
I think this thread is for just that: hearing other perspectives on one's appearance.  It is not the end all what people say in this thread, but if you only go to where people will tell you what you want to hear, then you will gain nothing. ;)
Totally agree Ainsley.
Sometimes I look at this thread and think about giving advice, but then I decide not to. That's because what I see might be different than what others see, so I keep my comments to myself.
I've found after almost 10 years full time, that those people I've suggested advice, they don't take it.
For example, I've suggested seeking out a makeup artist - someone who works out of their home for a consultation. Don't think anyone has ever taken that advice from me.
Again, I'm far from perfect. I never had FFS, but I did learn all I could from a makeup artist. And that is why I have lived full time almost from day 1.
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Korra-

Quote from: Floof on January 31, 2017, 11:42:00 AM
Heey, I think your voice sorta cracks a bit towards the end of the clip which is the only thing that sounded out of place, but frankly if I didn't know you were a transwoman I don't think I would have reacted to it.. I'm no expert on this stuff, my voice is pretty bad.. But it think yours for the most part sounded really nice, I wouldn't have been wondering if i was talking to a woman or not if that was us talking on the phone.

You look absolutely lovely ;D
this one should be alot better

vocaroo.com/i/s1hnltYnCviA
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Mirya

I was reminded of this thread with all the recent news about Sally Yates (the ousted US Attorney General).  Do a google image search of her to see all her photos.

I wonder if her photo was posted here, how many people would say that she doesn't pass.  Her hair is short, her eyes are deep-set, she has some slight brow bossing, her nose is not that feminine, her lips are thin, and she has a fairly wide jaw.  She also wears minimal makeup.

I think in many ways, voice is equal to or maybe even more important than looks.  If anyone misgenders you, or suspects you, you can quickly squash any suspicions with a distinctly female voice.  And that's what a cis woman would do, right?  So as important as looks may be to passing, I'd encourage everyone to work on their voice even more than their looks.  Set aside time literally every day to work on your voice.  And don't give up until you get it - even if it takes 200 consecutive days of practice or more.  For when your voice passes, you will pass too.
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Floof

Quote from: Korra- on January 31, 2017, 12:22:07 PM
this one should be alot better

vocaroo.com/i/s1hnltYnCviA
Ohw yea, I don't think you have anything to worry about, thats sounds great! I can only hope I can work myself up to the same level. Really, I'm not just being nice and cutesy because I don't want you to feel bad... To me that sounds like any woman.
Reisen er lang, hard og full av farer; vær modig mine brødre og søstre <3




SRS w/ Dr. Chet May 12th 2017
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staciM

I think honest constructive criticism is what most are looking for when they post here ....as long as it's done in a polite and respectful way.  I've posted a few pics recently, and I would personally rather hear about the not so great things rather than the short and perhaps ambiguous feedback I usually get.  For instance, I've been told I look young for my age (which I'm happy to hear :) ....but I'm not sure if that means, a young passable woman or as a young looking semi-fem man that doesn't yet have a hope. Sometimes it's difficult how to take that...does it mean you pass easily and you should get on with your life, or does it mean you're not even close and people would rather stay away from commenting.  I would rather know the entire honest truth.  This is especially important since most of us are feeling quite vulnerable when we post here....no or terse feedback can be just as damaging as too much.  Honesty with respect and everyone pushes forward with their goals. 
- Staci -
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Korra-

@mirya: couldn't agree more. voice id one of the deciding factors in passing or not. i dont mean to sound anti lgbt or harsh but having a "gay man voice" sometimes isn't good enough, especially if the other things about your appearance is somewhat questionable. that outline be the tipping point in getting clocked or even worse,  gendered male. I kniw because I started presenting female part time before I had even an effeminate male voice and it got me many many odd looks and stares and too many sirs to count. it really pays off to go the extra mile and train your voice because even on days where I look a hot mess cis people just go with what they see and hear and gender me correctly. doesn't mean I don't get nervous though girl voice is still new to me and like any other tran woman I get a bit anxious at times about it

@floof: thank you!  it took many months and a lot of failing to get it to where it's at! I still have a long way to go before I reach my goalbut that's good enough to get me though socal interaction at least. you can get there too just practice practice practice

@stacim: okay ill try to give more feedback even if it's pointing out areas that need improvement. generally i avoided it in the past because some pictures I see need a lot of work and im not sure if that's what they want to hear or positive reinforcement. so to not step on any toes I literally don't say anything
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staciM

Thanks Korra. That happens to be my thoughts on feedback but I would be curious to know what others would prefer...maybe my thoughts are the minority :)
- Staci -
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Korra-

Quote from: staciM on January 31, 2017, 01:37:29 PM
Thanks Korra. That happens to be my thoughts on feedback but I would be curious to know what others would prefer...maybe my thoughts are the minority :)
for me its always a scary thing giving honest feedback from my point of view bc i dont want to deem privileged or stuck up since I realize I'm alot younger than most here and was lucky enough to pass and go full tune before I was one year on hrt. so in my mind i have to tread carefully and choose my words especially considering so many ladies here have wildly different backgrounds. 
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