I guess some of the changes of T happens so much quicker than others. I am actually normal weight but the fat is in the areas I hate. I am just against drugs that's why I was looking into natural ways. I took the gel form before and if I were to restart it, I would do the same method because then I can actually have control over dosage.
The effects that I didn't want were being hairy ( I was already hairy and shaving from time to time) and when I got additional facial hair, I even went to a laser hair removal but I didn't want to put up with the pain.
Another one being, acne (which never ceased to exist ever since 1st puberty, maybe it's from stress?) So I got acne that covered my entire face, so it multiplied tenfold.
Another one being voice... I don't want to lose the high pitch range anymore than I already have. At least right now, I am kind of able to control it until I lose it (it's not stable)
BUT IF, just IF taking a consistent low dose will help what I am seeking (even if not fat resdistributing from hips/thighs to belly but will help with building upper body muscles so the focus isn't on hips somehow) I am maybe willing to give it another shot...
Also, in reality what other people see of me is actually not my concern at all since I don't really "pass" in the first place. It's literally how I see myself and being completely disgusted of it and hate myself completely. So when I saw those pictures (yes, I am aware that they could have been photoshoped) but I even saw other FTMs in videos who have no curves...
If I were to give measurements of my hips vs waist, would that help?