Can more estrogen make me a normal girl?

[Tristyn]

I don't want to be a boy; i want to be a woman. The problem with this is I don't like being female. But when I am in guy mode, I feel more realistic. As a woman, all of my bodily movements are so forced and tenses that I feel like I will explode. But what if I take more estrogen? I just want to feel happy. It is not even about becoming a man. It is about being happy and at peace with myself, which I am not. Has any transguys here ever asked themselves that question? In my opinion, no amount of T and surgery will turn me into a real man. My genes will always say I am woman.

[Dena]

Estrogen is making you uncomfortable. There are a number of threads in the T section were the emotional change that happen as the result of taking T are discussed. The dysphoria is reduced as well as the emotional swings come under control. If you look at the HRT section where MTF talk about their first few week on blockers and estrogen, you will find HRT has a similar effect where the fog in our mind is removed and for the first time in a long time we can see the world clearly. Our brains don't function correctly on our birth hormones and to some degree, our birth hormones are a slow poison.

A line often told by the MTF is the doctors ask them to try HRT for at least 3 months before stopping it. Many of us decide just to give it a try and have plans of stopping if we don't notice any changes. When the time is up, few if any decide to stop HRT and might offer a good deal of resistance if they were force to quit.

I suspect you estrogen levels are well into the normal range or you wouldn't be feeling as uncomfortable as you are. To have addition estrogen would only make things worst instead of better.

[Tristyn]

Estrogen is making you uncomfortable. There are a number of threads in the T section were the emotional change that happen as the result of taking T are discussed. The dysphoria is reduced as well as the emotional swings come under control. If you look at the HRT section where MTF talk about their first few week on blockers and estrogen, you will find HRT has a similar effect where the fog in our mind is removed and for the first time in a long time we can see the world clearly. Our brains don't function correctly on our birth hormones and to some degree, our birth hormones are a slow poison.

A line often told by the MTF is the doctors ask them to try HRT for at least 3 months before stopping it. Many of us decide just to give it a try and have plans of stopping if we don't notice any changes. When the time is up, few if any decide to stop HRT and might offer a good deal of resistance if they were force to quit.

I suspect you estrogen levels are well into the normal range or you wouldn't be feeling as uncomfortable as you are. To have addition estrogen would only make things worst instead of better.

I keep having visions of myself wearing a dress, with lipstick on and a smile plastered on my face with a husband and kids. Like that is what I want if it means I will be normal but I know I will be miserable. No offense to treansguys who like to wear dresses and makeup and like other men but I am not one of them. I would really be lying to my husband and kids. I don't want that. But I feel like I won't have a choice if I want to feel normal, but I won't be happy. I can't get T no matter how hard I try because no endocrinologist wants to risk treating me with all the health problems I have. So what other options do I have, really, but to go back into my female shell?

[Ashey]

You obviously have some internalized transphobia, specifically problems with the legitimacy of your presentation (either current or potential). And on the flip-side, possibly issues with letting go of the gender roles that you grew up with and the expectations that came along with them. I would speak with a therapist about all this.

[Tristyn]

You obviously have some internalized transphobia, specifically problems with the legitimacy of your presentation (either current or potential). And on the flip-side, possibly issues with letting go of the gender roles that you grew up with and the expectations that came along with them. I would speak with a therapist about all this.

Wow, Ashey. I think you're onto something. I really should speak with him but it's just so darn hard to get a hold of the man. I mean, could he really be that busy? I have not seen him in almost two or three weeks and it is killing me. He has no idea how I feel right now; I feel neither male or female, however I like to present myself as a man and like to be called in male pronouns but I dont really want to turn into a man nor remain in a female body. I want to be sexless on the outside as I am genderless on the inside. I looked up something called gender nullification surgery and I think that is what I need to feel better about my body. I don't want to even have any reproductive organs. I just thought I might have to turn into a guy because I never wanted to be female and because that is how I present. Does any of this make sense? I want some masculine characteristics. I would still like to be on a low does of T if I could and estrogen blockers. I don't really wanna be a girl but not a man either. I just want to be Phoenix (that's the name I like to be called in real life).

[April_TO]

Please see your therapist.

[Magicka]

Don't try and lower all your sex hormones. If you don't have enough E, T or P in your body you get all sorts of unwanted effects like osteoporosis, arthritis, lose if muscle tension strength, horrible mood, quicker aging skin etc. Seriously, having very little sex hormones is only something pre pubescent children can get away with while keeping their health AND their weaker immune systems simultaneously. As an already developed post pubescent person you need a good level of some sex hormones to stay healthy... sorry.


Try and find peace with one option or the other....



I'm an mtf and realizing it and transitioning is making me happier than I've ever been. Lol, funny thing is that your scenario on your first post sounds lovely for me, I'd love to be married to a protective husband that provides for me and our adoptive(or his bio children) have a nice house, while being a housewife/ and a loving mom.

[JoanneB]

On the flip side there have been plenty of males that thought low to normal T was the REAL cause of their GD and tried boosting their T to no avail, or just made it worse.

TBH - No One WANTS to be trans. I spent about 50 years "wanting to be 'Normal' It took me about 50 years to understand that, and then finally admit that there is absolutely nothing I can do to change the very simple fact that I am trans. No matter what I tried I always felt like a chameleon, trying to blend in with guys. Practically forcing myself to at times. Yet there were, and still are, a lot of "male" type things that make me Me. That will never change. They also don't make me any less female.

We are all familiar with the phrase "Sex is mostly between the ears". Well, so is gender. Gender ID may have some DNA component to be found. Using a pair of chromosomes to define gender, like for which bathroom to use, is anachronistic.

Being trans also means you have a ton of emotional baggage, Shame and Guilt being paramount. A lot of that baggage can be neatly wrapped up in the Internalized Transphobia crap paper. We know all too well what others think and say when the PC police aren't nearby. Who wants that? I have two failed transition transition experiments under my belt. Failed in part due to external and internal transphobia. It took some hard work to mostly eliminate those factors from my present day life and unhealthy thinking. Well worth the effort to finally fell joy.

[Kitty June]

I was one of those given T because mine was low. Didn't make me feel better and increased my body hair, hair loss, and my voice got even deeper.
I wish I hadn't of tried it as I was more androgynous then. Just more crap to overcome now.

[Emileeeee]

I considered for years that maybe more T would make me feel like a man and get rid of this whole trans thing. I spent far too long trying to convince myself that I wasn't trans, that I could be the one single person out there that can defeat it, that if I just toughened up it would go away, etc. I've done lots of things that many guys would run away from and it did nothing but make it worse. Nobody wants to be trans, it just is.

That being said, a therapist would be best. I never did try that extra T, but there are lots that did and it didn't turn out well for them. I'm sure it would be a similar result for those born female and E. Maybe you can overcome it. Maybe you can't. But you'll be stuck in the land of confusion and shame until you confront it head on.

The issue with the T is not insurmountable. It just makes it more difficult. But if you can't be happy as a woman, is that T issue really that major of an obstacle? You don't have to stick to stereotypes to be one or the other either. You just have to be you. I do all the same things I did before my transition. I even dress the same. In fact most times I still wear guy's t-shirts because the women's ones aren't long enough. I didn't fix my walk or anything. I went from focusing on every aspect of my presentation to only focusing on fixing my voice.