Why do I have to be trans?

[Soli]

maybe i can start another thread and post links and stuff about ASD, I was astonished when I started to read and study autism as I realized I don't really have an original and unique personality, just a list of autistic traits  one of them being trans.

I think the gender stereotypes are just so ingrained in us that we forget that they're imaginary lines.

imaginary yes, but deeply grooved in our cultures, it's been part of the essence of what we are as a group (and being as a group is like essential for humans, it's what we are) for so long, we can't just say we're not like that anymore, as a group, it takes some time ... I guess it's evolution

[Reyes]

I'm probably not the best person to be making any sort of comment on this. I mean my life is pretty much absolutely miserable at the moment, and I honestly have no belief I'll ever be able to come out, and probably live my entire life alone and miserable, I'm a very depressed person if you couldn't tell, lol.

But at the same time, what you said about can't the transness just disappear, if I was given that option, I wouldn't take it.

I mean sure if it was gone I might not even care anymore after the fact, but as it is here, and isn't gone, I don't want it gone, no matter how horrible it's making things. I want, need to be a woman, even though I may never get that, but living my life as a man is not something I want. At all.

[V]

I might be slipping off topic here but my weirdness is due to the fact that I'm in the Autistic spectrum disorder ASD, I figured that out some 3 years ago, I'm an Aspie... and there are many on here I think

I am slowly coming to the realisation that I might have Aspergers too. I've met one or two others on here who have it as well.

I also think that if you can't love yourself then the person who WILL love you will be struggling to love you as you won't accept their love as you'd constantly be doubting it!

Also there's no such thing as 'normal' every-one has a 'problem' or 'issue' with themselves, love yourself because we love you - if you're dysphoric just look at yourself and find the one good quality about yourself that you like, and think about it, and slowly you'll love yourself again. For me if I feel dysphoric I look at my legs and say "Yeah they're pretty nice, pretty feminine" and I feel somewhat better and eventually get happier! 

I just can't 'love myself', never have, never will. Not everyone can I think. But that doesn't, and hasn't stopped me from loving others, very deeply. In fact the love I receive from others always helps me to think less badly about myself. I guess it ranges from total loathing, up to mild disdain. Mild disdain being a really good day for me.

I will agree that there's no such thing as 'normal' though. We are all unique and special, everyone is.
If I look at my butt, that can make me feel a little better about myself, as it's pretty darn great. It's the best bit of me I reckon 

I looked up Aspergers a while back and some of that fits me pretty well and some doesn't.  Also, when I was younger I was very shy and socially awkward but over the years I've learned to fake it so it doesn't show much.  So I'm not really sure if I'm aspie or not.  But I'll admit I'm weird and unusual LOL.
Sapere Aude

I can relate to this. Some of the ASD stuff fits me like a glove, but some parts don't. I guess that's why it's a spectrum disorder? I do try to fake it when in social situations, and sometimes it works, especially if I'm not feeling to bad. But sometimes it goes terribly, really terribly, and I just have to leave as fast as possible. Other times I think I'm doing well, when actually I'm (apparently) being completely insensitive, as my boyfriend will attest to :-/

Soli, I am astounded at how well most of those ASD symptoms seem to fit me.  Although, since they're kind of vague, it might just be that I'm shoehorning myself into them.  I don't, I can't really tell

I can sometimes be guilty of reading things and trying to get myself to fit them, in a twisted way of wanting to belong, I guess...
So with this in mind, I think I'm going to go and see my GP and ask him about this and whether I can get a diagnosis one way or the other.

maybe i can start another thread and post links and stuff about ASD, I was astonished when I started to read and study autism as I realized I don't really have an original and unique personality, just a list of autistic traits  one of them being trans.

Since being on this site, I am amazed that there does seem to be a link between ASD and trans. It's really made me think about myself, and if I am indeed Autistic in some way, then that will help me a lot to understand myself, even if it ultimately won't make my life any easier 

[supergirl23]

This may come across as rude, or insensitive but I don't mean it in the way it may come across but have you tried doing 'Drag'? As you say you want to be masculine and feminine? Or how about gender fluid?
I just want to make sure that you've researched all the possibilities and know for sure?

I really do want to start working at a drag club. That would be such a cool experience! But the nearest one is too far away and wouldn't be worth the gas it took to get there. I think drag would be a great way to start getting into a community that would start helping me as I transition. I know I'm not gender fluid because transitioning is the right thing for me, becoming a woman is the only way for me to live my life as the real me. And I realise now that when I do start my transition I won't have to stop " doing guy things ". Because as a woman I can do anything I want.


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[Soli]

And I realise now that when I do start my transition I won't have to stop " doing guy things ". Because as a woman I can do anything I want.

Yessssss!!! absolutely

So with this in mind, I think I'm going to go and see my GP and ask him about this and whether I can get a diagnosis one way or the other.

Since being on this site, I am amazed that there does seem to be a link between ASD and trans. It's really made me think about myself, and if I am indeed Autistic in some way, then that will help me a lot to understand myself, even if it ultimately won't make my life any easier 

it's difficult to get a diagnostic of ASD for an adult. And quite useless I must say. The important is to get to know how the autistic brain works.

I just wrote a very long post on that very precise question, too long for this thread, would be off topic (that's an autistic trait I have: blah blah blah, the words spill from my mind I can barely control it) so I will keep it for a thread on that subject. And after all those three short sentences summarize what I had to say about it so the other words were just useless Aspie words 

[V]

it's difficult to get a diagnostic of ASD for an adult. And quite useless I must say. The important is to get to know how the autistic brain works.

I just wrote a very long post on that very precise question, too long for this thread, would be off topic (that's an autistic trait I have: blah blah blah, the words spill from my mind I can barely control it) so I will keep it for a thread on that subject. And after all those three short sentences summarize what I had to say about it so the other words were just useless Aspie words 

Difficult to get a diagnosis you say? Really? Why is that? Why is it useless?
I went onto the Autism UK charity's website, and they advise precisely this, to go and see your GP for a referral to get such a check/test done.

If you see the words in my profile on the left, you'll see my motto: "Brevity isn't my strongpoint". See also another saying of mine : "Why write one word when 50 will do?"
So you see, I totally understand it when you say that excessive wordiness is an ASD trait. I can literally bore the hind legs off a donkey.

"Useless Aspie words", that's one I'm going to keep and use again and again 

[Soli]

  well useless for neurotypicals but very important, every word, for the Aspie saying them

I say that it's difficult to get a diagnosis according to the state of services in Québec where I live, probably the same elsewhere in Canada. I figured it was same everywhere, almost all of the ressources in autism are dedicated to children.

Useless because there is no cure, nothing to do but learn to deal with it. What will they offer you after a diagnostic? What service? Nada. Maybe therapy that will show you how to deal with it, and I feel I can do that myself by knowing how autism functions.

[V]

well useless for neurotypicals but very important, every word, for the Aspie saying them

I say that it's difficult to get a diagnosis according to the state of services in Québec where I live, probably the same elsewhere in Canada. I figured it was same everywhere, almost all of the ressources in autism are dedicated to children.

Useless because there is no cure, nothing to do but learn to deal with it. What will they offer you after a diagnostic? What service? Nada. Maybe therapy that will show you how to deal with it, and I feel I can do that myself by knowing how autism functions.

"Neurotypicals"... I like it! Next time someone gets a bit upset by one of my 'traits', I'll just tut and say that I'm sorry that they are so neurotypical, and that maybe they could get some therapy to deal with that? 
As you say, every word is important, and you've no idea how many times I go back and edit my posts, even days after 

Ahh, difficult in Canada, I see now.

I guess you're right in that there's nothing that can be done, hence 'useless', but at least it's something I can point to when folks are getting frustrated with me 

[Soli]

just to make sure what I said was clear, the neurotypicals are the majority, the so called ''normal'' people, but we should really discussing this in another thread. I'll start one soon.

[V]

Yeah I know, I was joking about 
A new thread? Why not.

[Soli]

oh sorry didn't catch your joke, often difficult for me to, well because, you know... autism. Yeah I will start a discussion on ASD and I'm sorry to have hijacked your thread supergirl23

[V]

That's OK, I usually miss the crux of jokes as well, plus no-one ever spots when I try to make a funny. Don't sweat it