Passing in the bathroom

[Sebby Michelango]

For some weeks ago I, mom and my mom's friend ate at a restaurant together. Since I'm not out to everybody, I do things that's expected. After the meal, we went to the bathroom at the restaurant; the female one. After doing my business, I washed my hands. Suddenly a old woman came in and started to correcting me. "This is the woman's bathroom", she said. "It's only for women". I was happy for passing, but didn't expect people starting reacting like that. I explained her I used this bathroom because of the sex I was assigned at birth. She looked weird at me, before she did her business. I couldn't explain to her too much either, since I'm not out yet.

Have you experienced something similar too?

[Mariah]

I can't say I have, but I sure thought the last time I used the men's that it was going to happen over 2 years ago before I went full time. Hugs
Mariah

[kathb31]

I have only recently begun using the women's bathroom and I do find it very
stressful. I am also not completely out and am seen by most as male and by
some as female. I find myself hoping there is no one in there so I can avoid
any encounters.

[FTMax]

Women would do a double take sometimes in the ladies room when I was pre-everything, but I was pretty butch at the time so I don't blame them. Once I was on T, the double takes slowly turned into more long stares, so I decided to start using the men's.

I think now, with all of the bathroom bills and greater exposure to the public, I would expect more people to say something about gender non-conforming people in the restroom. In the past, they may have thought you were out of place but very rarely would've said anything. Now it's much more common for folks to address you directly about it.

[Asche]

My neighbor, who is butch but hardly masculine (more androgynous), reports having people do a double-take when they see her from behind in the ladies' toilet.  Usually they figure it out when they see her face, but not always.

[TardisGurl]

I've only recently gone full time but in the past when out and about I've always avoided public restrooms unless I had another (usually cis) girl or girls with me as support walking into the ladies.  Haven't had a need to use one yet since making the switch but I'm sure it will come up sooner or later and you can bet your butt I'm going to the ladies.  It helps that I'm in a state which isn't carding people or giving them grief I suppose.

[Peep]

Yeah I started confusing people in womens' bathrooms a few months ago (i'm pre everything but some people still read me as male depending on what i wear) and so i only use single occupant, neutral or disabled bathrooms now

i had to use a ladies' room a few weeks ago though b/c i was with people that i'm not out to, but there was no one else in there so it was okay

[Ollie_Ryan]

A while ago (before I even accepted that I was trans, but apparently I still looked pretty masculine) I was in the women's restroom at the movie theater and as I was washing my hands, some older lady came in and saw me and she got all flustered thinking she was in the wrong restroom. She went back out to check the sign and confirmed that it was the women's room, then she came back in and gave me a weird look, but she didn't comment on it. It was awkward for me at the time, but now I'm a little bit proud of how I accidentally passed lol

[Peep]

yeah it is this double edged sword where you're happy you passed but annoyed that you also sabotaged that pass by being in the wrong bathroom lol

[link5019]

bathrooms are stressful, the only thing you can really do is be confident. I started using the female restroom recently myself and thank god I pass at 4 months or I would probably be called out. It's just so stressful because you never know how people will react and so you just have to roll with it I guess.

[sigsi]

Yes. I worked a restaurant and the uniform for everyone was neutral and a tie. I had short hair and binded, but wasn't out (so pre-everything).
I almost always received a confused stare from women as they entered the bathroom, and multiple times they re-checked the front of the door again. Three times I was told "this is the ladies restroom". Each time I spoke my voice gave me away and they embarrassedly apologized. At first I found it kind of amusing, but eventually became annoyed. I started using the guys bathroom that no one used in the basement.
Funny enough, I had a few male customers come up to me and tell me that the bathroom needed more toilet paper. At first I thought it was just the tie, but for the group meals I was standing right next to my female co-workers, and was still called "Sir". Guess I passed more than I thought I did??

Edit: Interesting side note, two out of three of the woman who told me that it was the ladies room looked to be in their 40's/50's.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

Women would do a double take sometimes in the ladies room when I was pre-everything, but I was pretty butch at the time so I don't blame them. Once I was on T, the double takes slowly turned into more long stares, so I decided to start using the men's.

I think now, with all of the bathroom bills and greater exposure to the public, I would expect more people to say something about gender non-conforming people in the restroom. In the past, they may have thought you were out of place but very rarely would've said anything. Now it's much more common for folks to address you directly about it.

Everything old is new again. I got plenty of crap in the late 1990s in the northeast. I think there was a lull because society got more accepting of gays and gender non conforming people, but this anti trans stuff has emboldened the jerks again.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

Edit: Interesting side note, two out of three of the woman who told me that it was the ladies room looked to be in their 40's/50's.

Sounds like my late grandmother back in the 80s. Eyes starting to go but too vain to wear glasses.