Would I be passable?

[Kayy!]

So being passable is very important to me and as of right now one of my mental road blocks to continue moving forward with everything.  Not being able to pass is a HUGE fear of mine like im sure it is for most of you. Your input is greatly appreciated! These pics are pre everything.

[Dena]

The pictures are not real clear but it appears you may have beard shadow and are not using makeup yet. Your face isn't overly masculine and the combination of HRT, makeup and facial hair removal should help a good deal in the feminization process. I think the hairstyle works for you. How well you will pass will depend on things beyond just the face. Mannerism, voice and being comfortable with your self can make a big difference in public. Very few pass 100% of the time but I think it's possible for you to pass near 100% of the time.

[Ms Grace]

Based on pics I'd say you have a good chance of passing - but remember, "passing" is much, much, much more than how you look. The important thing is to accept yourself.

[Donna]

Of course, these pictures make you look passable, totally and fully. If there is a hint of beard showing, just shave closer and try a minimal amount of makeup to cover beard darkness. I really like the "Fusion" style 5 bladed razors.
More important is how you interact with others. Are you comfortable with yourself with strangers as Kayy? You should be. Appearance wise, you look more "passable" than I do. However passing is never an issue for me out and about as Donna. I behave as a proud to be feminine MTF person, and I act like a lady. My voice is not all that feminine, yet men like to open doors and let me go first into a room when I am in public as Donna. Women like to chat with me as if we share commonalities. Sure, there are the infrequent occasions when people from a distance may look at me and seem to be wondering what gender I truly am under my skirt. I don't care, ever. I do not try to fool anyone into thinking I am anyone I am not. I just act like the lady within and never ever worry whether or not people are are concerned I was born female or male.
You are beautiful. Just go enjoy! Be yourself!

[Kayy!]

Yes there is some beard shadow but thats because I still live my every day life as a male [emoji26] . Hopefully not for to much longer if i can jump these mental hurdles.

[EmilyMK03]

Frankly, if you want an honest opinion, you need to show honest photos.  That means sharing photos where you're looking straight ahead at the camera, similar to how you would look in a driver's license photo or passport photo.  Also include additional photos like side profile photos and angled photos - all with good lighting.

But as others have said, passing is about a lot more than appearances.  It's about mannerisms, comportment, body language, and very importantly - your voice.

[Kayy!]

EmilyMK03 your right sorry heres some better ones. Im just self- conscious still.

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[AnxietyDisord3r]

Well, straight on I can see that you have pretty and pleasing facial features but you also have a masculine pattern of bone deposition. I am no expert but maybe that makes you a candidate for FFS (bone shaving?). I think you can pass pretty well with that hair and as others have said acting as if you belong in that space, but you do have a slight ambiguity and people will eventually pick up on that as they interact with you.

I'm at a point where total strangers call me "sir" because of how I'm dressed, haircut, even voice, but people who interact with me longer clock me as female. It's probably my face, also if I dress in baggier clothing one day and they see me it definitely shifts their perception of me. Or if I wear a baseball cap. Instafemale. It's something a lot of us go through. I think already being in my transition makes it easier to bear, though.

[JoanneB]

Based on pics I'd say you have a good chance of passing - but remember, "passing" is much, much, much more than how you look. The important thing is to accept yourself.

+1
This 6ft big boned, big everything deeper then average male voiced gal has two failed transition experiments in her past because of that "Some Guy in a Dress" feeling that haunted me.

The right hair style, coloring, some makeup, and trying to present as unambiguously female can you far. But it won't matter a nickle if all you see or feel is that "Some guy in a dress".

What you see, what you feel about yourself on the inside is really the point of transitioning, isn't it? That often needs a lot more care and feeding then the outside in order to heal the wounds inflicted upon us by a life of shame and guilt for being who we are

[EmilyMK03]

EmilyMK03 your right sorry heres some better ones. Im just self- conscious still.

To be honest you don't pass 100%, but you have a lot of potential.  Most MtF trans women won't pass all the time either unless they get facial feminization surgery (FFS).  It's something you can save money for and work towards eventually.  You're lucky in that your masculine facial features are very few - so the surgery won't be as comprehensive or expensive as it would be for others who have more masculine features.  (you have a cute nose!    But in the meantime you can do other things to feminize your face - such as laser hair removal, eyebrow waxing & threading to give a feminine arched eyebrow, and of course makeup.  And certainly hormones will have a big effect on your face too, especially since you are just 20-21 yrs old.  Thinning out and arching your eyebrows at a salon will probably have the biggest immediate impact, and it's very inexpensive to do.

But also keep in mind that a lot of trans women don't ever get FFS and still make it through life just fine.  Maybe they'll get clocked, maybe they won't, but they're confident in who they are as a woman so it doesn't matter as much.  The first hurdle you need to overcome is not how well you pass, but how well you can accept your own internalized self as a woman, regardless of how you look or what you wear.  I have a trans friend who transitioned 25 yrs ago at around your age.  She never had any FFS, and she has brow bossing similar to yours, but she passes 100%.  Very few of her cis female friends know she's trans, and everybody else in her life does not know either (well, except her husband of 10+ years, lol).  So you can make it through life just fine the way you are too, as long as you have the confidence, mannerisms, and voice of a woman.

I'll emphasize again that a very large component of passing is your voice.  If people see you and are not sure if you're male/female, your voice will sway their minds in one way or the other.  You may want to start practicing your feminine voice before anything else, because it takes a very long time to develop (but also costs very little to do so).  You just need to practice, and practice every day for months on end.

[Sebby Michelango]

EmilyMK03 your right sorry heres some better ones. Im just self- conscious still.

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You're not passing at all to be honest. Getting HRT and removing the beard shadow would help. It's not about the hair or the clothing, this is all about the face and body. HRT and removing the beard would help a bit. But there are many trans women who doesn't pass even after HRT because testosterone is a very strong hormone (stronger than estrogen in most cases). So FFS might be a solution if necessary. I would recommend you to be on HRT in a couple of years before considering FFS, but it's alright to know the FFS technology do exist. Some have the ability to pass without facial surgery. My best advice is getting HRT, beard removal and be patient. If you do work out, you should be careful with do some work out activities. Some of them might give you more muscle, and often in a more masculine version. Now you looks masculine, so you can't expecting to pass at the first moment.

[Kayy!]

You're not passing at all to be honest. Getting HRT and removing the beard shadow would help. It's not about the hair or the clothing, this is all about the face and body. HRT and removing the beard would help a bit. But there are many trans women who doesn't pass even after HRT because testosterone is a very strong hormone (stronger than estrogen in most cases). So FFS might be a solution if necessary. I would recommend you to be on HRT in a couple of years before considering FFS, but it's alright to know the FFS technology do exist. Some have the ability to pass without facial surgery. My best advice is getting HRT, beard removal and be patient. If you do work out, you should be careful with do some work out activities. Some of them might give you more muscle, and often in a more masculine version. Now you looks masculine, so you can't expecting to pass at the first moment.

I guess when i posted this it wasn't as much of a question of do I pass right now....Because I know I don't....All im asking is like after being on HRT for awhile and little tricks in make up would I have problems passing? Not so much of as "do I pass in this very second" but more as could I pass down the road?

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[EmilyMK03]

All im asking is like after being on HRT for awhile and little tricks in make up would I have problems passing? Not so much of as "do I pass in this very second" but more as could I pass down the road?

Nobody can answer that question, because HRT affects everyone differently.  We don't know what you will look like.  You're looking for an answer that doesn't exist.  And even if any of us somehow magically knew the answer to that question, those of us who have transitioned or are currently transitioning would say that this is not what you should be focusing on anyway.

That being said, you can visit a website (such as Virtual FFS) to read about the biological differences between a male and female face and skull, and compare them to your own to figure things out yourself, if you're so inclined.

[Kayy!]

Nobody can answer that question, because HRT affects everyone differently.  We don't know what you will look like.  You're looking for an answer that doesn't exist.  And even if any of us somehow magically knew the answer to that question, those of us who have transitioned or are currently transitioning would say that this is not what you should be focusing on anyway.

That being said, you can visit a website (such as Virtual FFS) to read about the biological differences between a male and female face and skull, and compare them to your own to figure things out yourself, if you're so inclined.

Your right im sorry I guess im just making it a bigger deal than it really is. Its more about how I feel on the inside than how others veiw me. Even tho it would be nice to pass really well but isnt always the case.

[JMJW]

The wig is too much. It's too elaborate and high glam, so mismatches your face. I see a simpler, darker brown haired wig suiting you better. You can pass potentially, but right now you should avoid the blonde delicate femme look and go for something more casual. 

 







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[JoanneB]

Your right im sorry I guess im just making it a bigger deal than it really is. Its more about how I feel on the inside than how others veiw me. Even tho it would be nice to pass really well but isnt always the case.

TBH - Unless you started blockers at an early age and then onto HRT the odds are slim to none of never being clocked. Even then, if you had my genetics, odds are slim to none the early intervention would be of significant help. Which is why acceptance of yourself, working on the insides, is just as important, if not more so, then your presentation. Unless you have surety and faith in yourself, of who and what you are, one odd look or openly being called out as "One of those" will always devastate you. I tried twice before not having fully accepted myself for being trans and loosing the ton of baggage that came with it.

You have plenty of potential. From what I can tell in time you'll do OK. I've had female friends that are far more masculine looking then you.

[Janes Groove]

It might help you to attend RL support groups to get a sense of how other trans women live with being passable or not passable.  Don't worry about not passing in that kind of situation. It's not really a factor.

Also, one becomes a woman by living as a woman.  Whether you pass or don't pass, there's really nothing like on-the-job experience.

[Sebby Michelango]

I guess when i posted this it wasn't as much of a question of do I pass right now....Because I know I don't....All im asking is like after being on HRT for awhile and little tricks in make up would I have problems passing? Not so much of as "do I pass in this very second" but more as could I pass down the road?

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It's difficult to say if you would pass on HRT or not, because the results are very difference from person to person. Some people pass with only HRT, other also need FFS. The genetic has a lot to say including medical treatment. Many believes HRT itself would do wonders, but genes plays a big role too. Since you has a masculine face, it might be difficult, but not impossible. It's mainly the head shape that's masculine. Your eyes have a potential if you do the makeup right and rest of your face becomes smother on HRT. Your nose would probably be fine on HRT, since it's not too big. The brow bridge might also become smoother on HRT. Just give it time. It's smart to be on HRT in several years before you can say it works or not. Estrogen needs longer time than testosterone because it's not so strong as testosterone.

[AnxietyDisord3r]

Does anybody understand or can explain to me why, if women are the less powerful gender in the world, which is true, why are the boundaries of "woman" and "feminine" policed so viciously?

I am getting 50/50 ma'am/sir'd all day long but nobody makes negative comments and even the staring is more curious than harsh. The exception is women's restroom which is why I hate going in there but feel like I have to if I don't pass. But trans women get garbage thrown at them (verbally or literally) all day long. Cops arrest them for walking down the street. What the heck is this obsession? Why do we care? It's not a forgone conclusion, for example in other countries, like Pakistan, hijras are just a normal kind of person in everyday life and nobody thinks twice about it.

Julia Serano calls it "effemimania" which I think is a terrible coinage and I understand her argument but don't find it convincing, that femininity is policed because of the hatred and contempt of femininity. The latter part is true, all true, but I don't see the hatred being tossed at trans women being mostly of the variety to wit: I'm a man, and you 'trying to be a woman' makes men look bad because it's obvious that no man would ever want to be a woman and you're causing me cognitive dissonance. No! It's more of the variety of "How dare she "pretend" to be a woman!" As if being a woman is an awesome prize that everyone is trying to get! Having lived as a woman for (counting from 18) 18 ****ing years, I can't understand this mentality in the slightest. Who wants to be a woman when you get crapped on every single day? Not heard, bullied, paid less, sexually harassed, etc, etc?? Obviously an MTF is that way because they can't help being who they are, not because being a woman is a big fat lark. It's not!!!

Why is our society so sick this way. What a sick joke. We'll dump on you every day for being a woman, but how dare someone "try" (like you have a choice being a woman, right?) to be a woman, we'll get you for that. Projection much? Do women hate themselves this much? (I hope not, right?) Do men? I don't get it.

[JMJW]

The answer is transphobia. The hatred of transition.

A transwoman is almost always more obviously trans than a transman so receives more notoriety and bigotry.