I needed to vent off a bit after spending the last months not in depression, for I wasn't feeling down nor sad or anything relatable to the subject, however I do have found myself being in a broody mindset quite frequently to be frank.
So, first of all: this year I passed my college admission exam, which was a massive step since I dropped from chemical engineering back in 2012 out of anxiety and my general inability to deal with crowded places. So, I am excited about starting to study online, yeah, I couldn't make myself cope with the idea of being enclosed in classrooms with other people, that would have just made me go berserk. I'm starting on September 5th, yay! ~
Second: some part of me feels nervous about my transition, for I have spent the last five and a half years automedicating myself after coercing a doctor into prescribing me some hormones and I never came back to a regular check up with him, our meetings are sporadic at best since I don't have enough money to pay the 21 dollars he charges for every appointment. Before you say it's freaking cheap: I live in mexico, here 21 dollars are a fortune.
So... yeah, I'm looking forward registering in a government program that gives both medical attention and treatment for free to transgenders individuals in my country, that'd perhaps help me cope with money a bit easier. The only thing holding me back is that this thing is only available in Mexico City, the progressive paradise in my country, and since I live rather close to the capital, I wouldn't have many problems, thing is I have been rejected twice because I dwell in the metropolitan area rather than the city itself. Bah, humbug!
I'd post a pair of pictures of myself to make some sort of comparison between my old self and me at the moment, but I still am not convinced about myself, most of my friends and relatives say I always looked kind of effeminate and that now it is impossible to tell I was born male despite looking like a ghastly and gaunt woman.
And if you know any individuals down in Mexico who could help with some information, I'd be more than grateful if you put us in contact, it's hard to find support down here in Mordor.
Alright, harridan off.
