Oh my gawd, I'm so sorry !! I didn't see this until today...just now even!
Thanks for lookin' for me, Steph, I didn't mean to alarm anyone, especially not dear, sweet you.
Leigh is right, I've been concentrating a lot more on school this semester. Since I have tons of reading, writing, studying, and general homework to do, I have to really keep on top of things and it's hard to ever be 'caught up'.
I only take 2 classes, and only work 4 hours a day, yet it seems as though I am more stressed than I ought to be. I know for one thing, if I don't keep my apartment clean and organized, I can't concentrate properly on schoolwork or much else...so I've been trying real hard to keep caught up with that, and with making sure all my papers are properly filed, and trying to do laundry once a week instead of whenever I run out of socks and underwear
I do church on Sunday at 10:30, a book study on Monday nights at 9, and Bible study on Wednesday nights at 6. Work is 11-3 Monday thru Friday, so it kind of cuts my day up...classes are Tuesday and Thursday from 3:30-4:45 and again from 7-8:15. I stay on campus between classes and either hang out and read, do homework, talk to my prof, or hang out with a friend at the campus coffee shop.
And that is just the regular schedule---then you have to figure in eating, bathing, paying bills, taking the car for repair, and all those other semi-regular or just plain unexpected unplesantness...and the fact that occasionally I help someone out here or might have a little bit of a social life. Oh yeah, sleeping.... which I don't do very well, so I end up getting out of bed and starting my day a lot later than I'd like to, which screws up the whole rest of the schedule.
Essentially I feel as though I run around like an ass all day and never get a blasted thing accomplished. A couple weekends ago I spent
hours both Saturday and Sunday doing homework and hardly made a dent in it. The thing is, I enjoy doing it, it's just time consuming, especially since I am not a fast learner. I get irritated with myself because other people have full time work, full time school, church, spouse, kids, and home to deal with, and they seem to manage it all AND keep an excellent GPA....
As for posting, I actually made a list a few weeks ago of the posts I want to reply to, and still haven't gotten around to it. I don't like to write half-baked letters, or half-baked posts....which requires that my brain be fully present for a couple hours in order for me to consider what others have written and then formulate an intelligent, well thought out response...
Anyway I'm sorry for disappearing like that, it was not intentional, I love all of my friends here and have regretted that there aren't more hours in a day, or more pep in me, to allow me to be more present at Susan's. Next time I play Houdini you can shoot me a PM or e-mail, or IM and I promise I'll respond, if only a few lines...
To be quite honest, before I started spending very much tme online, I never imagined that lives can intersect so meaningfully between people who only communicate electronically; I hate it because I am a physical person, and I have grown to love my online friends, but they are so far away, and sometimes, often, all I want to do is embrace them and kiss them, and laugh with them, and nurture them, and share meals and good times with them and it is so frustrating not to be able to do so....now, especially, my heart hurts for what Terri is going through, and I feel helpless and frustrated that I cannot help her in 'real life'. Still, I remain tied to Susan's and wouldn't think of leaving, so when I am gone for a spell, know that I'll be back.... but in the future I will be more thoughtful and let you all know what's up with me so you won't worry....
Alas, I've hardly gotten a thing done today as I've volunteered to cook for my pastor tonight (he's had his shoulder replaced and having a rough go of it), and since I never cook for anyone I am spoiling him and his kids rotten, and made a mess in the process (now I remember why I don't cook!), so I have that to clean up, trash to take out, kitty-litter to scoop, the bed to make, papers to put away, laundry to put away, vacuuming to do, a bathroom to clean up, clear the junk outta' my car....all before I actually deliver his dinner....and here it is 3:15PM and I haven't even looked at homework yet...and my brain goes to mush after dark which makes homework after dark very difficult to accomplish
...(sigh)...Anyway---that whole long paragraph was essentially to say I hafta' shut up and go now... Thanks for checking up on me once again....
Love you,
Valerie
