How does it feel like to have female hormones in your body? (MTF)

[FluShy]

Even if it doesn't change anything in your body It must be nice to feel that you have female hormones in your body right?  , do you feel more feminine and what change did you notice first after HRT? 

I'm going to start HRT in 5 months thats what my doctor said!  So I am very exicited

[Deborah]

For me it was a whole lot more than that.  This is what it did to me in the space of days to weeks.
-Eliminated depression
-Eliminated latent suicidal thoughts
-Eliminated anger issues
-Eliminated a growing dependence on alcohol
-Eliminated noise in my head (that's kind of abstract but the constant distracting buzz of dysphoria went away)
-Brought clarity of thought
-With all of that my brain began to work a whole lot better with increased focus.
-I began to write better (probably a byproduct of everything above)

So it is much much more than a placebo.  The very rapid effects border on miraculous.

[Michelle_P]

After two whole weeks at 'starting level' I can say it feels great.  There's a huge psychological boost (the "placebo effect") just knowing that I've got estrogen in me.  I had already been on spironolactone for 5 weeks, and after about 2 weeks of that I noticed some definite mood improvements, with days where I felt much better than I had in decades.  I found that I was waking up earlier, waking in a good mood, and smiling.  The 'sad old man' that I saw in the mirror each morning is not showing up nearly as often.

Adding estradiol (via patch) into the mix seems to have made a further improvement. So far it's mostly psychological, I think.  However, yesterday, a few hours after I had replaced the patch, I had a kind of warm glow feeling, that was, as near as I can describe, a bit sexy in an unfocused way.  I didn't mind that at all.

I think that so far, the spiro had the biggest effect. I felt calmer, and had easier access to my emotions.  The emotions were running closer to the surface, if that makes any sense, and I found that I could laugh or cry very easily.  When I do my meditation, I can reach a calm, quiet inner state much more quickly than I could before I started.

The depression has largely receded, along with the nasty things that came with it.  I feel that I am communicating better in face-to-face situations, which is nice.  The dysphoria is almost gone.  Oh, I'm still much happier when I can match my presentation to my gender identity, and very uncomfortable when I have to be cross-dressed as male. The act of stripping off my female presentation often starts me crying, but at least I'm not burying that emotion any more.

Overall, it's a tremendous improvement for me.

[link5019]

It feels amazing ^_^ I feel like I'm actually me. I've mellowed out, less anger, my sex drive is changing, my body has been changing which is amazing. Everytime I take my hrt, it's like a warm fuzzy feeling that makes me smile. But it just feels right

[Cindy]

And after 7 or so years - it hasn't gone away!!!!

[Lady Sarah]

It looks like the initial effects have already been covered. For the long run, I can honestly say that I would never quit taking my Estradiol. I can still remember how miserable I was pre-HRT, and never wish to feel the same way ever again.

Even better,are the physical effects.

[RobynD]

One of the first thoughts i had within a couple of weeks is, "is this really how most people feel?", because i felt so much more centered, non-depressed and in control of my emotional life. There were continually increasing physical changes, but the alleviation of dysphoria came first.

[Heather14]

My smell has changed. I dont have a strong body order any longer. The hair on my legs is growing much slower. And my mood is more mellow. There is another feeling deep thats hard to understand but feels very pleasurable.  So far I love how it makes me feel. 

[purplewuggybird]

I have found that there has not been a lot of changes for me- other than the physical ones, of course


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[Serenation]

after 15 years I had to get an app to remind me to take them because I keep forgetting which usually means migraines, flushes, anxious , vertigo , weakness.

If there's a zombie apocalypse first place I'd go is to get E supplies.

[Soli]

Having started for a few weeks with spiro only, I first felt the testosterone going out the window and it felt great, I felt as if I was finally let alone by this assaillant, relief.

And then the first weeks of E, I would really feel the E flowing in hours after I put my patch on twice a week, I wonder why I don't feel that anymore, the other patches seemed better, anyways... haha. Well like all the others said, I react smoother to things, I stopped having black thoughts, I'm happy... I had never been. It holds on, everyday I wake up happy and the future looks very bright even if I cannot rationally see how exactly since I don't have the money to transition really, unemployed, but I don't care, even the dark shadows on my face, I can cope with them (that part is the hardest) and I keep positive trying to find ways to finance that, as opposed to decades of dark and suicidal thoughts and a constant grim future hanging in a dull frame on the wall.

My smell is much more developed and that's not always a good thing depending on who you live with 

so many things... it changes everything

then the physical changes in turn bring joy and hope, I don't know... happiness I guess. Must be that that they call happiness. It's all new

[Denise]

For me it was a whole lot more than that.  This is what it did to me in the space of days to weeks.
-Eliminated depression
-Eliminated latent suicidal thoughts
-Eliminated anger issues
-(removed)
-Eliminated noise in my head (that's kind of abstract but the constant distracting buzz of dysphoria went away)
-Brought clarity of thought
-(removed)
-With all of that my brain began to work a whole lot better with increased focus.

I'll add a few other comments.
for ME
- at 2 months on Spiro - i was much calmer
- at 11 days on E my nipples were sore
- at 4 weeks... (my E level was 388 and my T < 20)
   * I had definite breast development
   * My wife was seriously considering leaving/divorce
   * (remember - everyone is different, I'm 54 and married for 30 years)
      I stopped taking everything, Spiro and Estradiol injections
   * It took two weeks for my system to "recover" and everything from above returned.

[Deborah]

      I stopped taking everything, Spiro and Estradiol injections
   * It took two weeks for my system to "recover" and everything from above returned.

Yes, all the badness comes back pretty quickly.  And it comes back worse than before.  Once you have glimpsed a life free of dysphoria, returning to it feels like a descent into hell.  And it's worse because you know exactly how you can climb back out at anytime you choose.  So the misery becomes self imposed.

[LizK]

Here is one I will add...I find myself crying sometimes and there really is nothing much wrong but I will have a good old sob and then feel great for the rest of the day. Crying never felt this good pre HRT

Since starting HRT I now feel closer to the same way most cis people feel every day of their lives...I have far less Dysphoria...its not all gone...but it is way better than it was. That has left me room in my head to concentrate on other things...so what do I concentrate on now?...transition of course...and as a result I put undue pressure and unnecessary expectations on myself. Things like...

"I am feeling so great now I should be able to...(fill in the blank)"

Physical Changes...just noticed a slight weakness in my arm strength(HRT? maybe, maybe not) Nipples are very sensitive, dry orgasm, some minor breast changes. So I am on a full transitional dose after spending the first 8 weeks on a lead in dose to get my levels up.

Overall I feel great, I sleep better , eat better, and play better with everyone than I did pre HRT 

Liz

[Ms Grace]

How does it feel? It feels right.

[Asche]

I can't say I've noticed much difference.  I must be an outlier.  (Or maybe I'm Just Confused and not a Real ->-bleeped-<-(tm), like the cis folks always say.)

I've been on E + spiro for over 8 months now.  For the first 7 months (1x starter dose, then 2x starter dose), I didn't really notice any emotional differences, though I did get some breast growth.  About the time I went to 3x, I started getting anxiety attacks and felt (and still feel) quite emotionally fragile, but I don't know how much is due to the increased hormones and how much to the fact that I realized I'd have to seriously try to be seen as a woman, which terrifies me.

[V]

There are an awful lot of "everything is awesome" Lego song replies in this thread.
That's great if you have all those positive effects, but, there are people who don't have such positive mental improvement.
I feel somewhat better on HRT, but it wasn't a panacea for all my black thoughts.
I still suffer from severe depression, self-doubt, self-loathing, and lack of confidence. Those things did not magically vanish when I took HRT.
Sure I had lots of physical effects and changes some unexpected (I made a thread on these a short while back), but I will just warn that HRT does not always make you feel fabulous, it can help, but sometimes underlying problems and issues will still be there. Cis-women can suffer such problems, so "running on Oestrogen" doesn't mean permanent happiness and goodbye to all your problems.
It just helps you deal with some of those problems in a better way.
That's my experience, YMMV.

[Michelle_P]

I'd just like to note that besides HRT I'm getting individual and group therapy, doing daily meditation (that HRT has made much easier), and trying to address issues in my family situation.

All this helps.  I don't think the other activities would be nearly as successful without HRT, but even before I started I was improving from the therapy work and meditation.  Optimism for my future had already replaced the suicidal depression.  Part of that optimism was the thought that I'd be able to start HRT, so there is a significant psychological boost to starting it.

That said,  the shift in my neuroendocrine system is measurable, and the resulting changes in my mental state are very much positive.  It definitely helps.  I feel like I am re-joining the human race.

[IdontEven]

There are an awful lot of "everything is awesome" Lego song replies in this thread.

I think it's important for anyone about to start HRT, or considering starting, to not build up their expectations over-much. Does HRT have the potential to improve a lot of things, both mental and physical? Yes. But it may be very subtle, especially at first. And the changes can happen so gradually that you don't notice them sneaking up on you.

Your emotions being more at the forefront of your mind (assuming it happens to you, it did to me) can cause any unresolved emotional issues to demand to be dealt with. For me, I suppressed, denied, and disconnected as a male. That became increasingly impossible to do, so I had to learn a whole bunch of coping skills with a quickness.

Lots, maybe even most, may not have this sort of problem. It's something to keep an eye on though.

And every so often, for no reason that I can discern, my emotions get kinda whacked out. Seems to happen about once a month or so, for like 3 or 4 days... Or maybe it's just in my head? But I've started marking a calendar so I'll know for sure.

Having said all that in an attempt to prepare you for what may or may not occur, I will agree with everything everyone else has said - HRT is freaking amazing, and if the ZA occurs I will cut a B for my pills.

Not to overstate it, but life has color and flavor in a way it never did before. I'm actually alive now. I'm existing in the world, rather than enduring.

Also, I'm so easily emotionally manipulated it's stupid. AND I KNOW IT'S HAPPENING, but it happens anyways. The cheesiest, most cliche-ridden, ham-handed action flick will cause some pretty serious feels. And romantic movies? Sheesh.

Still, it's fun. Most of the time

[Deborah]

That it will have different effects with different people seems to be the case.  But my description of what it did for me is pretty accurate.  Unlike some others though my actual emotions remained pretty constant.  Maybe the actual effects depend on a host of different physical and psychological factors.  Maybe primary among these things is how each person integrated their trans reality in their mind before HRT.