MTF TG-How do you train for Unarmed Personal Self-Defense when you...

[Flizzy]

Before you read the following, please know that I do not mean to criticise previous comments. I read this thread and want to explain to those who havent been attacked before that its not so easy to just pull out a weapon or doge a knife and be done with it. Life is rarely so forgiving.

Since I live in the UK, having as much as a pocket knife on you is grounds for suspiscion and police search, even arrest. I'm sure this is the case for many other countries too. And unless you walk around with a weapon in your pocket all the time with your hand on it, you're not going to be able to pull it out in time to react to an incident, such as an ambush.

I've been ambushed twice before, once alone and the other with a friend. The one alone resulted in me having my head smashed repeatedly against a column radiator. The one with a friend was on a bike. I was knocked off and held in place by one guy while another beat me black and blue. Neither time did I call out for help, I didn't know what to do. Until you are in that situation you cannot know for sure what you are going to do, what they are going to do, or what the outcome will be.

Even as a male, I am extremely weak (HRT is going to be fun...). I only have my experience as an extremely flexible gymnast and resistance to pressure points to fall back on when up close and personal. I might have basic self defence knowledge but the instant a knife comes out, I'm dead. I can't overpower any men, and few females.

So to add my rules; never travel alone, make as much noise as you can in a predicament (helped me more than once) and know when to listen to your instincts. Fight or flight exists for a reason, don't try and be a hero. I was lucky the last time I tried helping someone out, you might not be.

[JMJW]

You have a foot. They have Nuts. Pretend you're Planters and are harvesting. Got to shake them almonds from the trees. I know this is simplistic but that's me

Against an unexpecting opponent who's just standing still, sure.

Could you pull that off under pressure? When someones trying to punch you in the head with aggression while adrenaline is flowing through your veins?

Easier said than done, to say the least. If you rely on their nuts, or any other specific target , while they see your entire body as a target, they're going to land alot of punishment before you're able to take aim, line it up and execute the fight ending crotch shot. 

[Dena]

An attacker is often untrained and is used to overpowering their victim. They expect the victim to resist and not fight. They don't expect the victim to fight with the determination to win. While it's best not to end up under attack, if it can't be avoided, you need to play to win. You need to realize you are going to take some damage but you want to make the other guy look worst. I admit I have been trained by my little brother and sister not to fear a fight I can't avoid but there are times when you have no other option.

[Lady Sarah]

In my current condition, I use crutches ... the type designed like giant police batons, with cuff pieces. I trained myself to use them as weapons. One is slightly bent from when I hit an assailant in the chest, breaking a couple ribs. That was over 20 years ago, and I still have them. I lost that fight, as it was 6 on 1. Those same assailants never bothered me after that. I was fortunate to escape with bruises, but without my purse.

You can train all you want to fight one or two, but there may always be a fight you can not win. You never know when an assailant may disarm you, and use your own weapon against you. With what I was trained to do, I once defeated a 2nd degree black belt, while sparring ... but I could not beat a 6-pack of thugs.  Even having a gun would have been useless in that fight. They were just too fast.

[SonadoraXVX]

I have realized from a knife attack I survived, when in my younger years, "speed is your friend, against surprise" and since adrenaline kicks in during a surprise, you have the momentary advantage of speed to run, faster than you normally would. I was able to dodge and run for way a longer time when that attack happened, I was not injured in that incident, but it taught me, that speed saves, surprise kills. I especially see it in the national geographic movies when wolves attack their prey, or cheetahs stalk and hunt down their prey, they use the element of surprise and speed along with violence of action to take down their prey. Now speed does save the prey from time time as the antelope can  dodge and run away at times from the predator, in my case, I was able to dodge and run away, very very fast. I also like to point out that adrenaline can numb you in case of damage done to you, if your cornered, which can work to your advantage as you could then run/move away very fast from the attacker.

I also learned from someone else that:
1. Barriers
2. Time
3. Distance

Are you friends to mitigate violence on you.
Of course, SA or Situational Awareness is your number 1 best friend, above all else, to avoid conflict/violence, as other ladies have mentioned before.

[Drexy/Drex]

I understand your dilemma.... me my self im just dipping my toes in after my realisation still dazed and confused one of the first things that came to mind ...amongst a thousand others anyway even  having trained in muay thai I realised when I go on hormones I will lose considerable strength ....so krav maga will be what I will learn ...look it up
The other would be aikido where you turn your opponents force against them...but takes a long time to learn
I think krav maga would be viable
Look around there are plenty of warrior women out there

[Jacqueline]

I understand your dilemma.... me my self im just dipping my toes in after my realisation still dazed and confused one of the first things that came to mind ...amongst a thousand others anyway even  having trained in muay thai I realised when I go on hormones I will lose considerable strength ....so krav maga will be what I will learn ...look it up
The other would be aikido where you turn your opponents force against them...but takes a long time to learn
I think krav maga would be viable
Look around there are plenty of warrior women out there

sorry for interrupting another thread. I need to welcome markie to the site as a newly posting member. Thanks for sharing some of your story and information.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna

[V]

So many super tough fighting replies. I envy you all I really do. Unfortunately for me, if I cannot run, I just freeze and get paralysed by fear and terror. I just curl up into a ball and wait for things to stop.
Before I actually experienced such situations, I believed I could fight, defend, repel attacks, etc... but the reality for me is that in actual fact I could not.
We're all different at the end of the day.

[cheryl reeves]

I'm the type of person a attacker leaves alone for I give offbad vibes telling them they better think seriously before confronting me. I'm trained in the art of street fighting and am pretty good at it,also I'm mean as hell in a fight. I've had instances where showing them an example tends to make them leave you alone. I've always had women's arms and they don't show muscle,I was always looked at as weak til either they messed with me or they seen me pick up something they couldn't lift. The worse thing anyone could do is surprise me for I react like a cat and can go from easy going to mean as hell in nano seconds. I'm a survivor and have been in places most good people don't go into and never had problems been asked by some bad boys if I was afraid and I asked em what was I supposed to  be afraid of and we both left it at that. I don't condone violence and lots of times I use example's to make them think,like one time I had two black guys ask me if I was afraid to be in the part of town I was in,i was at a day labor office and the best jobs went to those who got their first,i pointed toward my car and told them if I could put a Ford 4 cylinder engine in my trunk by myself why should I be afraid,they didn't believe me til I showed em the engine in the trunk and they told me I could go back to napping and they would let no one cut in front or bother me,and they did,felt neat to have 2 muscle bound body guards. See I grew up with a middle sister who was mean as hell and got good at fighting because of her.

[Kylo]

Since I live in the UK, having as much as a pocket knife on you is grounds for suspiscion and police search, even arrest. I'm sure this is the case for many other countries too. And unless you walk around with a weapon in your pocket all the time with your hand on it, you're not going to be able to pull it out in time to react to an incident, such as an ambush.

I live there too. The fact I had a knife on me stopped a sexual assault going any further. So I think I'll stick with one.

[JMJW]

I'm from the UK and I directly asked a police officer at the train station the legality of carrying a knife for self defence. He said as far as he knew it's legal as long as the blade is 3 inches or less. 

[Kylo]

A folding blade 3 inches or less is legal to carry.

Certain areas have been designed confiscation and search zones where if you look like a teenager or troublemaker and they find a knife on you the police will confiscate it. Otherwise, you're not likely to be searched for a knife anywhere. If you are searched, they might ask you why you have it, and you need to have a reason other than "to use it on an attacker" ready.

Two of mine are 3.5 inch and 4 inch, obviously I wouldn't carry the 8" hunting knife I have in public unless I was out fishing or something; but it makes no difference out here where I am; lots of farmers with shotguns and axes and chainsaws around.

[Lady Sarah]

Knives are virtually useless against an attacker. You will not have time to get it out. Then, you have another problem. You could be charged with "assault with a deadly weapon" if you use it in self defense.

[Lara1969]

I am trained to disarm the attacker. I do Krav Maga twice a week to be able to defend myself against all attacks. So I usually would disarm the attacker and could defend myself than with the knife or handgun which was directed to me

Luckily I never was attacked. It may have to do with beeing able to defend myself. I am self confident and I have a well trained body. Usually the attacker look for weaker persons in terms of self confidence and muscles.

[Drexy/Drex]

sorry for interrupting another thread. I need to welcome markie to the site as a newly posting member. Thanks for sharing some of your story and information.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

I am still learning how to navigate here
But thank you Joanna

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna

[IdontEven]

So many super tough fighting replies. I envy you all I really do. Unfortunately for me, if I cannot run, I just freeze and get paralysed by fear and terror. I just curl up into a ball and wait for things to stop.
Before I actually experienced such situations, I believed I could fight, defend, repel attacks, etc... but the reality for me is that in actual fact I could not.
We're all different at the end of the day.

I get this. Prior to HRT I had a really strong defiant streak that would have done the whole "do as much damage to them as possible" sort of thing. But now? There are very few times that I feel like that anymore, and any strength I DO have left after the HRT drains away the second I feel any sort of fear. I did end up in one really shady situation where I thought for sure my number was up, and I did my best to arm myself and had my hand on my mace and keys in my pocket, so as to be ready but not provoke.

In the end nothing went down. And I might have just been paranoid, but one guy had been displaying a dangerous lack of boundaries and there were 3 more positioned in the parking lot in very strategic ways. It still creeps me out, I never want to be in that position again.

But had they attacked? I -might- have managed to spray one in the face and tag him on the temple with a full bottle of Snapple, but it's doubtful there would be any power at all behind the hit, a pretty solid chance I'd only get the face instead of the temple, and mace isn't guaranteed to do anything, especially against a determined attacker. And that's just against a single foe.

I think for me it comes down to relying on others to protect me, or at least have my back, and doing my paranoid best to avoid any situation that would put me at the mercy of a stranger, where I would have to rely on them to not attack me.

This thread is scary. A really good one to have, and something everybody needs to think about and be aware of, but scary.

Edited to add - Certain types of attacks are also likely to occur from people that know you. No idea how you're supposed to avoid that, besides not putting yourself in overly compromising situations with casual acquaintances such as getting drunk, setting your drink down, being overly trusting, possibly some more things? There should be a pamphlet or something.

[JeNn_DeViLz]

I like Muay Thai personally. It always stuck with me and I trained for awhile. I'm not afraid of anyone but looking at my sleeves no one really bothers me. Which sucks because I'm a sweetheart to everyone (except ISIS) I personally would carry my .45 but it's a large frame and wearing tight clothes or putting in my purse is just too bulky so I keep a knife just in case but only for back up. I also refrain from being intoxicated in areas I don't know all that well, and I keep a tac flashlight too which doesn't feel well on the face. I've read comments from others about not getting to a weapon in time but what I do is keep one hand in my purse gripping my knife and put flashlight on the other. I also always keep the blade pointing up toward my elbow and out so if I have to strike the blade is cutting them not me and the flat end is able to be supported by my forearm. I refuse to be a victim of violence!!! Breaking into my house you have to get past the white wolf Tali and she will go after a stranger instantly, if they get past her they won't be alive long enough to see what the rest of their adventure will be, it's lights out permanently. I live in Missouri in the United States and we have particular laws regarding burglars. I'm not trying to offend anyone and I know guns are a very touchy subject but I'm always going to be pro 2nd Amendment and we are talking about safety, on the bright side of my post Muay Thai is very female friendly and one hell of a cardio workout!!!

[V]

I get this. Prior to HRT I had a really strong defiant streak that would have done the whole "do as much damage to them as possible" sort of thing. But now? There are very few times that I feel like that anymore, and any strength I DO have left after the HRT drains away the second I feel any sort of fear. I did end up in one really shady situation where I thought for sure my number was up, and I did my best to arm myself and had my hand on my mace and keys in my pocket, so as to be ready but not provoke.

In the end nothing went down. And I might have just been paranoid, but one guy had been displaying a dangerous lack of boundaries and there were 3 more positioned in the parking lot in very strategic ways. It still creeps me out, I never want to be in that position again.

But had they attacked? I -might- have managed to spray one in the face and tag him on the temple with a full bottle of Snapple, but it's doubtful there would be any power at all behind the hit, a pretty solid chance I'd only get the face instead of the temple, and mace isn't guaranteed to do anything, especially against a determined attacker. And that's just against a single foe.

I think for me it comes down to relying on others to protect me, or at least have my back, and doing my paranoid best to avoid any situation that would put me at the mercy of a stranger, where I would have to rely on them to not attack me.

This thread is scary. A really good one to have, and something everybody needs to think about and be aware of, but scary.

Edited to add - Certain types of attacks are also likely to occur from people that know you. No idea how you're supposed to avoid that, besides not putting yourself in overly compromising situations with casual acquaintances such as getting drunk, setting your drink down, being overly trusting, possibly some more things? There should be a pamphlet or something.

Yeah, so many folks packing guns and knives and martial arts.
Not me.
What do I do now? Well as much as possible I go out with my boyfriend, he's built like a gorilla and I feel pretty safe with him.
Thinking about it, if anyone tried to hurt him, I'd probably fly at them, even if I'd most likely get swatted away like a fly 
Of course, domestic violence is a completely different matter. I've been subjected to pretty horrible stuff from ex's in the past, and dealing with that is not like facing a stranger on the street. It took me a long time to trust men again, and to relax with my current partner. I am lucky he's just the best guy ever, and has never ever hurt me.
I never touch alcohol or drugs either, I don't want to get into a situation where I am inebriated and get taken advantage of. Gotta look after yourself!

[Kylo]

My ex was a pretty well-built guy. Back then, sure I think I had a luxury of someone being around who looked genuinely intimidating. He was a sweet guy, would always watch my back, which is why we're still good friends to this day, but he could cast someone a look that made people just shrink away and his biceps and fists were bloody huge. It really was something I didn't notice so much then that is absent now - that sense of having a bodyguard of sorts who could clearly knock the stuffing out of anyone who might attack me. People were a lot nicer to me when he was around than they are now. I don't think he tried to be particularly intimidating, he just was to people because of his size.

Don't have that luxury any more, in fact out of me and partner, I'm the better-built and stronger one. I feel it's my responsibility to be the "bodyguard" now, if a situation like that arose. But it's difficult when you're a shorter guy. Smaller guys tend to opt for non-confrontation more of the time, which is a decent policy. I'd love to be as big as my ex but I ain't so I gotta rely on whatever else I can out there. By far the best weapon in the arsenal is just bugging out of bad situations as soon as you smell them coming. Failing that, reactions have to be tailored to gender to some degree sometimes. I know there are certain things I could do when I didn't look male that would throw people off, but when I do look more male, people are on the alert for me and they're ready for me, expecting me to do something. Got to take a different approach now.     

[Gertrude]

The best weapon is the one between your ears. Situational awareness is paramount. I've been fortunate that I really haven't had many confrontational problems in my life and being aware, having the right attitude and being big has helped. If you are unarmed, avoid knife fights, if you have a knife, avoid gun fights and if you have a gun and feel that your life is in jeopardy, punch their ticket. A paraphrased Kilvinski's law. If you can, check out the pink pistols, if you can't, look into krav maga for effectiveness and aikido to know how to fall and get back up, and its good for the head. Most of all, avoid trouble. Its costly even when you're in the right.


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